Six Months of His Strength

“Come, behold the works of the Lord!”
Psalm 46:8

“Remember when daily life was really, really hard?” my husband asked at dinner.

“Yeah,” I nodded and let out a sigh. Oh, did I remember.

Remember when it took twenty minutes for Kash to get shoes on? Remember when we had to teach him to eat, to sleep, to look us in the eyes, to walk and run? Remember how many conversations we had with our older boys as they wrestled through questions? Remember when we had to keep cleaning up bookshelves, until we realized it wasn’t worth it and just removed the things we didn’t want ruined?

“Our muscles have been strengthened,” Josh continued. “We handle things better now.”

I knew exactly what he meant. How we have been tested and tried! We don’t react to things now quite like we used to, and our patience has grown immensely (we used to think we were patient people - ha!). Messes don’t undo us, tight finances don’t cause us as much stress. Lack of sleep is, well, just a thing that happens sometimes.

Looking back, I’ve seen the Lord’s hand in many ways. This post is to share His goodness and encourage those who read it. Please don’t be looking at me and my abilities or lack thereof - look at Him and what He can do with a life surrendered to Him.

Lack of Sleep + Health : My older kids have been great sleepers. They’re up a bit when they’re sick, but we have had the same bedtime routine for years and they sleep through the night like clockwork. Kash has more good nights than bad now, thank God for that progress. Some nights he is up giggling and rolling around for hours, thinking it’s time to be up and playing. Other nights he will be up screaming, thrashing, crying. I pray someday he will be able to tell me what these nights have been about. Many nights I’ve gone to bed anxious and anticipating what the night will hold. The day after a bad night, my body usually hurts and my attitude is crummy. God has given me plenty of opportunities to practice trusting Him for the nighttime, and adjusting my attitude for the daytime.

You may know from previous posts that I struggle with chronic illness. God has been healing me, and I am much better than I used to be. There are still some days were I feel “stroke-y,” as I call it; the left half of my face and arm feel not quite there and I’m working extra hard to make sure my words aren’t slurring. There are days when my brain fog is thick and I have a persistent headache. There are still other days when the veins in my leg are swollen and painful. Even on those days, when I don’t know how I’ll get from point a to point b, He looks out for everyone. The next day comes and guess what? Everyone ate, everyone learned something, everyone slept and was taken care of. He gives supernatural strength, He helps me do what needs to be done and He sometimes brings other people around to carry the load.

The more life I live, the more I am convinced that our bodies are to be used up for His glory. What good are we if we spend all our time perfecting our bodies, and neglecting works of obedience the Lord puts before us? He made these bodies to be used, spent for His glory. Abused and trashed? No - taken care of, and spent. My veins are a constant, visible reminder; I can’t ever get my pre-children vein health back, but I do what I can to keep them strong how they are and don’t mind the looks of them so much anymore. They aren’t what the world would say is beautiful, but they were used to give life to two little boys and that? That’s priceless. We (I) can focus on our health so much; getting enough sleep, enough nutrients, enough water and minerals and this and that and — before we know it, we are forgetting that our God not only is the Author of our lives but also the Sustainer. I’ve seen this firsthand with my own health as well as Kash’s. Each of us has had to do a deep-dive to get to the roots of some issues, and from there we have worked to heal and maintain good health. But it is the Lord who holds us in His hands and sees to it that we get what we need. We can do our research, be informed, and make good choices for our families - and trust the Lord to it all.

Finances and Provisions : Over and over we have seen the Lord provide financially. Josh works hard at his job, we budget and watch our money closely to be good stewards of what the Lord gives us. And we pray. We make our needs known to the Lord, and wait on Him to provide. There are times when financial situations shouldn’t logically work out, and yet He sees to it that they do. Countless times He has laid an amount or a physical item on someone else’s mind to send to us, and they do in obedience. It is very humbling, and it reminds us to be attentive to ways He may be asking us to give to others. From dozens of eggs and bags of coffee to checks in the mail, He has met every single need in the time we needed it! What do we have that we did not receive (1 Corinthians 4:7)?

Obedience : These last six months have taught me that hard does not equal bad, and obedience doesn’t always feel like a joyful thing. Sometimes obedience is hard. Sometimes it’s the opposite of what we want to do. Allow me to give an example. We sat in the car outside the adoption agency in Florida, waiting until I could pull myself together to go inside and sign paperwork. This may surprise you, but I didn’t want to go in. I wanted to pack up and drive back to Maine and forget the whole thing. After meeting Kash I felt about as big as an ant ready to get squashed under someone’s foot. His needs were too much, the lack of connection between us was too much, the upheaval of my normal life was too much. It was too. much. I sobbed, and Josh handed me tissue after tissue while the kids sat in the back concerned but trying to busy themselves watching traffic. We all didn’t fully understand what we were getting into, yet the parts that were becoming real were scary. Josh reminded me of the ways God had moved over the past couple weeks. He had orchestrated all the details, from us finding out about Kash to inquiring about him to agreeing to pursue him to house preparations to travel needs and beyond. It was obvious that God was placing Kash in our family, and there was not a single step where He had been absent. Josh encouraged me gently and led me into the building to finish paperwork. I had to be obedient, trusting that what God had called us to was something He would provide the strength for.

Perhaps this is an American struggle, or maybe a Westerner struggle, but we tend to avoid situations and lifestyles that are challenging. We can be faithful to God by working hard at our jobs, serving in our churches, making sure we only watch wholesome TV shows. This is true. But what if God asks you to do something that’s just plain hard? What if He asks you to move to the bush in Africa, where no one will know who you are, so that you can minister to drunkards and teach them how to bandage their wounds? What if He asks you to take your family to another country, in order that you might open your home to dozens of children who have all experienced trauma? What if He asks you to sit in the middle of Boston and talk to homeless people, that they might know Him? What if He asks you to teach Scripture to college students, to challenge their worldviews and show them the Way? These are all real examples of things He has asked people to do! Do we brush off the conviction, saying that someone else could do it instead? Do we convince ourselves that the needs in this world really aren’t that significant? Do we think that Jesus is coming back soon, so why bother getting involved in anything outside our own comfort and wellbeing?

The God of Scripture is very clear about the purpose of our lives. It is to glorify Him and obey Him. He tells us to serve others, to care for the orphan and widow, to seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with Him. The life of a faithful, obedient believer isn’t a coast to the finish line. No, it’s a race - one for which we long to hear upon finishing, “well done, good and faithful servant.” And I can assure you, wholeheartedly - with obedience comes joy unimaginable, and peace that passes all understanding. The pain and struggles are real, but the joy and peace He gives are unmatchable. He tells us that our work for Him is never in vain, and that we will be rewarded. We serve a good, gracious King!

“He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord, and He will pay back what he has given.” Proverbs 19:17

Daily I see my weaknesses; there are so many. Yet His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Someone may look at my current load of work and say, “I could never do that.” (I’ve had a few comments as such!) And I think, well cool, me neither. Literally, I cannot do this without Him. Not only can I not do it by myself, some days I straight up don’t want to. But, obedience isn’t dependent on emotions. The amazing thing is that the Lord asks us to obey, and He equips us to do what He has asked. He gives the physical strength, the mental creativity and wisdom, the time and resources - all of it. The key is consistent, daily time spent in His Word and prayer. This is how we learn who God is and how He has created life to function, how we know what He wants our lives to look like and which things He wants us to do. Walking with Him is freedom and joy!

God is good, and He blesses His saints. I pray you are encouraged by how He has worked in my life and the lives of my family members. May you seek Him more, trust Him more, love Him more. He is worthy!

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:1-2

Legalism, Obedience & Zeal

Legalism. We cringe at the mention of it, envisioning strict rules and regulations and hidden sins. Webster’s Dictionary describes legalism as “strict, literal, or excessive conformity to the law or to a religious or moral code.” We likely all have seen legalism in action. It can dampen our desire to pursue Christ; many unbelievers even use it as an excuse to not put their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It seems that there has been much emphasis on shunning legalism and fleeing from it over the last handful of years.

And perhaps in all of the shunning, we have gone too far in a different direction. Perhaps we have swung too far in trying to avoid legalism that we’ve forsaken actual obedience altogether.

Legalism and obedience are often confused and thought to be the same thing, though they’re very different. We can see legalism with the Pharisees, as they prioritized rules and works over true repentance and desire to serve God. This happens today - maybe we even do this in our own lives. We can go to Bible studies and host people in our homes and tell others what they need to do, all without any personal repentance of sins and humility before God. We can look at people who actually do live legalistically, and think, there is no way I want to be like that! and thus run away from anything that could be taken as legalism.

In contrast to legalism, obedience to God is faithfully doing what the He asks of us even if we don’t fully understand. It comes from a heart desire to follow Him in all aspects of life.

We have run too far in our move away from legalism. An general view of Christian culture today, at least in America, shows that true obedience is frowned upon.

“I just want to be a wife and mom,” says a school-aged girl.

What’s the response? Oh honey, don’t settle for that. You can have a career, too!

The woman who stays home to teach her children and manage her household? Laughed at.

The woman who refuses to gossip? She’s holier-than-thou.

The parents who bring their children to church instead of Sunday soccer games? Scoffed at.

Instead of obeying the Lord, we can cave to pressure and decide that a better use of our time in life is to adopt some of the world’s ways and mock those who take Scripture seriously.

“But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things — that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
Titus 2:1-5

This is an excerpt of what Scripture says for us as women.

This tells us that an obsession with wine is not obedience to the Lord. Talking down to or about our husbands is not obedience. Complaining about our children, allowing the house to be in constant chaos - this is not obedience.

The other day, my husband and I were talking about zeal and legalism. According to Webster’s, zeal is “eagerness and ardent interest in pursuit of something: fervor.” One significant difference between zeal and legalism is the fruit that each yields. Zeal comes from a deep desire for obedience, a longing to please our Savior. It yields the fruit that come from the Spirit of God: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Legalism can produce poster board cutouts of these fruits without having any substance or aroma to them. In reality, they rot and stink.

J.C. Ryle outlines zeal wonderfully:

“Zeal in religion is a burning desire to please God, to do His will, and to advance His glory in the world in every possible way. It is a desire which no man feels by nature - which the Spirit puts in the heart of every believer when he is converted - but which some believers feel so much more strongly than others that they alone deserve to be called ‘zealous’ men…. A zealous man in religion is pre-eminently a man of one thing. It is not enough to say that he is earnest, hearty, uncompromising, thorough-going, whole-hearted, fervent in spirit. He only sees one thing, he cares for one thing, he lives for one thing, he is swallowed by one thing; and that one thing is to please God. Whether he lives, or whether he dies - whether he has health, or whether he has sickness - whether whether he is rich, or whether he is poor - whether he pleases man, or whether he gives offense - whether he is thought wise, or whether he is thought foolish - whether he gets blame, or whether he gets praise - whether he gets honor, or whether he gets shame - for all this the zealous man cares nothing at all. He burns for one thing; and that one thing is to please God, and to advance God’s glory. If he is consumed in the very burning, he cares not for it - he is content. He feels that, like a lamp, he is made to burn; and if consumed in burning, he has but done the work for which God appointed him. Such a one will always find a sphere for his zeal. If he cannot preach, work, and give money, he will cry, and sigh, and pray…. If he cannot fight in the valley with Joshua, he will do the work of Moses, Aaron, and Hur, on the hill (Exodus 17:9-13). If he is cut off from working himself, he will give the Lord no rest till help is raised up from another quarter, and the work is done. This is what I mean when I speak of ‘zeal’ in religion.”
Practical Religion, 1959 ed., p. 130; Bishop J.C. Ryle

May this be an encouragement to you today. I especially hope this quoted section inspires you to be zealous for the Lord and His will; it certainly stirred me when my husband shared it. May we strive for a life of obedience, it is a joyous way to live!

Soli Deo gloria!
(Glory to God alone!)

Hearers and Doers: Valuing Proper Practice

I used to be of the opinion that if I could just renew my mind in God’s Word then I’d be well on my way towards living a sanctified life. I believed that head knowledge was half the battle and that right thoughts would surely mend wrong actions and motives.

In my circles, “Think Bible” was emphasized, and it’s important. But right thoughts are just the start.

There’s a plain, old, unromantic concept that seems to be up for grabs in our culture and that’s the idea of right practice.

Christian living (aka: doing right) may be out of fashion, but it is just as important as mental ascent to the right doctrine and is essential whether you feel like doing it or not. 

So while much of the blogosphere emphasizes correct doctrine,  I’ve noticed a failure to connect doctrine to local living. Yet, doctrine is not to be learned in a vacuum. Doctrine informs our living and demands our obedience.

Grace is the great enabler that propels us on to obedience, not a loosey-goosey spineless do-whatever-you-want stance. God would never push you to live more like the world but enables you to live counter-culturally and kingdom mindedly as we love others as He loved us. We can’t hold heaven in one hand and hell in another. Neither can Kingdom citizens live like God doesn’t care about holiness.

Psalm 37:3 Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.

We have churches full of people who know all the right things. We live in a time of unparalleled access to lexicons of Biblical information but we need to ask whether the church’s practice is better off for it.

Has all of this knowledge fallen on deaf ears or hard hearts?

Knowledge that doesn’t inform our desires, can never reform our lives.

I’m sure you’ve heard someone say that they feel like a total hypocrite if they do XYZ and they didn’t feel like doing it.

“I don’t feel like going to church, so I don’t want to be hypocrite. I have to be true to myself.”– as though actions must always be proceeded by correct feelings.

Sometimes you have to put your big girl pants on and do the right thing.

Any good mother will tell you this.

I rarely feel like getting up in the middle of the night with a cranky toddler, but I do it every.single. time. Changing sheets at 2 am has never been/never will be on my bucket list. But my mother-love and desire for my kids to be cared for and the knowledge that love is sacrifice informs my actions to get up and change sheets and give hugs and reassurance whether I feel it or not. My actions may feel hypocritical in the feelings department, but they are right and good just the same.

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. I Corinthians 10:31

 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. I Corinthians 6:20

Anyone who has been married for more than five years can tell you that the practice of kindness– whether you feel “in love” or not– is the great glue that keeps the home happy, and is the right course of action despite hormones, circumstances, or disappointments. It doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge disappointment, but it means that it doesn’t become an excuse to go postal on your husband.

At the end of the day, I realize that my desires at the moment have to be re-evaluated and put into their proper place behind right practice. It looks a lot like consistency–boring old self-control–informed by the mind but practiced in the local sense in your home and sphere.

Correct practice has taken a hit in Christian circles because we don’t want to be like the stereotypical church person, the one who knows all the right things but uses that knowledge as bludgeoning tools to look down on others or be the self-appointed church police pointing out everyone’s faults, when their own life is not so hot either. (Have you noticed that these types usually have “glaring faults” and you’re like, really!? You have time to point out other’s faults, but haven’t spent much time worrying about your own? But I digress. lol) We don’t want to be that person. We’ve over-emphasized the heart and put walls up around judging outward actions.

But I need to judge my own actions and ask, Am I loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, strength? Am I living according to His Word? Loving my neighbor as myself?

When I self-reflect, I can see that I need right practice more than I need more knowledge, and I think many, many woman are with me in this. We know quite a bit. We want to live it out, but we get stuck in the moment to moment choices.

How can we take practical steps to embrace correct practice and good old self-discipline, and embrace God’s wisdom for living, that, as it pans out, looks an awful lot like consistent Christianity?

Well, start with what you want and desire?

Most likely, if you are born again, your desire is to live a life that loves God and glorifies Him in a real way, vs a life that seeks self glorification.

Proverbs tells us that following after Wisdom is better than anything else you might desire. (Prov. 8:11)

And when we have that wisdom in hand and heart, we are to be “doers” of the word and not hearers only.

“What God commands, He provides the power to accomplish.” David Powlison

And a quick read-through of the book of James shows us how our desires drive our choices and our everyday walk.

So, If you can’t figure out why you can’t stop hating someone even though you know all the scripture about hate being like murder, and the command to love, etc… and you realize it’s not for lack of knowledge but for lack of desire that you will not obey (desire drives actions), you have to pray for new desires, and good news!!!—-> The Holy Spirit will help with this transformation, because that’s His job, and His desire for your life before you even recognized the need.

(God wants you to do right. He’s on your side in the obedience arena. You just have to make the choice to walk in truth!)

Then we trust and OBEY.

“Lord, you want me to love that person. I want to love you by obeying you. Help me to love that person as you would.”

So, how do you identify your true desires underneath the head knowledge?  Just look for the areas of conflict or tension in your life. It’s really that simple.

Ask yourself, What do I love so much that

• I’m willing to sin to get it

• I’m willing to war with another person to get it

• I’m willing to withhold love/punish to get it

• I’m willing to neglect the Lord over it

• I go to it for comfort.

• I’m willing to isolate myself and ignore sound advice to get it. (Pr. 18:1)

These questions help me to expose any unholy desires that smack in the face of God’s Word.

Look for the sin. But then look to Christ and ask the Holy Spirit for enablement and correction.

“Lord, why am I falling in this area?”

“Why am I so prone to this sin?”

“What lie am I believing about the source of my identify and happiness?”

Then take practical steps that may seem foreign to you and may make you feel like a hypocrite but that you know are exactly what the Lord wants you to do.

• Be kind to that woman who has always tried to undermine you.

• Don’t return an angry response, but offer a blessing.

• Put away the Kettle Chips if you are trying to diet. Stop even buying them.

• Be consistent to spend time in God’s Word.

Walk in the Spirit. Desire to love God most and first knowing that His desire for you is your sanctification so you are both on the same page when you want what He wants.

Written by Sarah Beals of Joy-Filled Days. Used with permission.