Six Months of His Strength

“Come, behold the works of the Lord!”
Psalm 46:8

“Remember when daily life was really, really hard?” my husband asked at dinner.

“Yeah,” I nodded and let out a sigh. Oh, did I remember.

Remember when it took twenty minutes for Kash to get shoes on? Remember when we had to teach him to eat, to sleep, to look us in the eyes, to walk and run? Remember how many conversations we had with our older boys as they wrestled through questions? Remember when we had to keep cleaning up bookshelves, until we realized it wasn’t worth it and just removed the things we didn’t want ruined?

“Our muscles have been strengthened,” Josh continued. “We handle things better now.”

I knew exactly what he meant. How we have been tested and tried! We don’t react to things now quite like we used to, and our patience has grown immensely (we used to think we were patient people - ha!). Messes don’t undo us, tight finances don’t cause us as much stress. Lack of sleep is, well, just a thing that happens sometimes.

Looking back, I’ve seen the Lord’s hand in many ways. This post is to share His goodness and encourage those who read it. Please don’t be looking at me and my abilities or lack thereof - look at Him and what He can do with a life surrendered to Him.

Lack of Sleep + Health : My older kids have been great sleepers. They’re up a bit when they’re sick, but we have had the same bedtime routine for years and they sleep through the night like clockwork. Kash has more good nights than bad now, thank God for that progress. Some nights he is up giggling and rolling around for hours, thinking it’s time to be up and playing. Other nights he will be up screaming, thrashing, crying. I pray someday he will be able to tell me what these nights have been about. Many nights I’ve gone to bed anxious and anticipating what the night will hold. The day after a bad night, my body usually hurts and my attitude is crummy. God has given me plenty of opportunities to practice trusting Him for the nighttime, and adjusting my attitude for the daytime.

You may know from previous posts that I struggle with chronic illness. God has been healing me, and I am much better than I used to be. There are still some days were I feel “stroke-y,” as I call it; the left half of my face and arm feel not quite there and I’m working extra hard to make sure my words aren’t slurring. There are days when my brain fog is thick and I have a persistent headache. There are still other days when the veins in my leg are swollen and painful. Even on those days, when I don’t know how I’ll get from point a to point b, He looks out for everyone. The next day comes and guess what? Everyone ate, everyone learned something, everyone slept and was taken care of. He gives supernatural strength, He helps me do what needs to be done and He sometimes brings other people around to carry the load.

The more life I live, the more I am convinced that our bodies are to be used up for His glory. What good are we if we spend all our time perfecting our bodies, and neglecting works of obedience the Lord puts before us? He made these bodies to be used, spent for His glory. Abused and trashed? No - taken care of, and spent. My veins are a constant, visible reminder; I can’t ever get my pre-children vein health back, but I do what I can to keep them strong how they are and don’t mind the looks of them so much anymore. They aren’t what the world would say is beautiful, but they were used to give life to two little boys and that? That’s priceless. We (I) can focus on our health so much; getting enough sleep, enough nutrients, enough water and minerals and this and that and — before we know it, we are forgetting that our God not only is the Author of our lives but also the Sustainer. I’ve seen this firsthand with my own health as well as Kash’s. Each of us has had to do a deep-dive to get to the roots of some issues, and from there we have worked to heal and maintain good health. But it is the Lord who holds us in His hands and sees to it that we get what we need. We can do our research, be informed, and make good choices for our families - and trust the Lord to it all.

Finances and Provisions : Over and over we have seen the Lord provide financially. Josh works hard at his job, we budget and watch our money closely to be good stewards of what the Lord gives us. And we pray. We make our needs known to the Lord, and wait on Him to provide. There are times when financial situations shouldn’t logically work out, and yet He sees to it that they do. Countless times He has laid an amount or a physical item on someone else’s mind to send to us, and they do in obedience. It is very humbling, and it reminds us to be attentive to ways He may be asking us to give to others. From dozens of eggs and bags of coffee to checks in the mail, He has met every single need in the time we needed it! What do we have that we did not receive (1 Corinthians 4:7)?

Obedience : These last six months have taught me that hard does not equal bad, and obedience doesn’t always feel like a joyful thing. Sometimes obedience is hard. Sometimes it’s the opposite of what we want to do. Allow me to give an example. We sat in the car outside the adoption agency in Florida, waiting until I could pull myself together to go inside and sign paperwork. This may surprise you, but I didn’t want to go in. I wanted to pack up and drive back to Maine and forget the whole thing. After meeting Kash I felt about as big as an ant ready to get squashed under someone’s foot. His needs were too much, the lack of connection between us was too much, the upheaval of my normal life was too much. It was too. much. I sobbed, and Josh handed me tissue after tissue while the kids sat in the back concerned but trying to busy themselves watching traffic. We all didn’t fully understand what we were getting into, yet the parts that were becoming real were scary. Josh reminded me of the ways God had moved over the past couple weeks. He had orchestrated all the details, from us finding out about Kash to inquiring about him to agreeing to pursue him to house preparations to travel needs and beyond. It was obvious that God was placing Kash in our family, and there was not a single step where He had been absent. Josh encouraged me gently and led me into the building to finish paperwork. I had to be obedient, trusting that what God had called us to was something He would provide the strength for.

Perhaps this is an American struggle, or maybe a Westerner struggle, but we tend to avoid situations and lifestyles that are challenging. We can be faithful to God by working hard at our jobs, serving in our churches, making sure we only watch wholesome TV shows. This is true. But what if God asks you to do something that’s just plain hard? What if He asks you to move to the bush in Africa, where no one will know who you are, so that you can minister to drunkards and teach them how to bandage their wounds? What if He asks you to take your family to another country, in order that you might open your home to dozens of children who have all experienced trauma? What if He asks you to sit in the middle of Boston and talk to homeless people, that they might know Him? What if He asks you to teach Scripture to college students, to challenge their worldviews and show them the Way? These are all real examples of things He has asked people to do! Do we brush off the conviction, saying that someone else could do it instead? Do we convince ourselves that the needs in this world really aren’t that significant? Do we think that Jesus is coming back soon, so why bother getting involved in anything outside our own comfort and wellbeing?

The God of Scripture is very clear about the purpose of our lives. It is to glorify Him and obey Him. He tells us to serve others, to care for the orphan and widow, to seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with Him. The life of a faithful, obedient believer isn’t a coast to the finish line. No, it’s a race - one for which we long to hear upon finishing, “well done, good and faithful servant.” And I can assure you, wholeheartedly - with obedience comes joy unimaginable, and peace that passes all understanding. The pain and struggles are real, but the joy and peace He gives are unmatchable. He tells us that our work for Him is never in vain, and that we will be rewarded. We serve a good, gracious King!

“He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord, and He will pay back what he has given.” Proverbs 19:17

Daily I see my weaknesses; there are so many. Yet His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Someone may look at my current load of work and say, “I could never do that.” (I’ve had a few comments as such!) And I think, well cool, me neither. Literally, I cannot do this without Him. Not only can I not do it by myself, some days I straight up don’t want to. But, obedience isn’t dependent on emotions. The amazing thing is that the Lord asks us to obey, and He equips us to do what He has asked. He gives the physical strength, the mental creativity and wisdom, the time and resources - all of it. The key is consistent, daily time spent in His Word and prayer. This is how we learn who God is and how He has created life to function, how we know what He wants our lives to look like and which things He wants us to do. Walking with Him is freedom and joy!

God is good, and He blesses His saints. I pray you are encouraged by how He has worked in my life and the lives of my family members. May you seek Him more, trust Him more, love Him more. He is worthy!

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:1-2

Patience Walks

“Hold on, Mom,” she says, dismounting from her pink bicycle again. She crouches down, her face inches from the ground. “This is important,” she tells me. 

We’re on one of our walks through the neighborhood, and already we’ve paused like this many times. We’ve examined pill bugs and spider webs, smooth black rocks and purple-flowered weeds, cracks in the sidewalk and one neighbor’s coral-colored roses. I feel the impatience begin to rise in my throat, the impulse to tell her, “Charlotte, get back on your bike. We need to keep going.” But at four years into this motherhood gig, I’ve finally started to learn to push that restlessness down. We don’t have to keep walking. We’re not here to move forward, after all. We’re here to do exactly what my oldest daughter does so well: engage in, watch, and pay attention to the world around us. 

——— 

Ten years ago, I was known as a fast-walker with a tongue to match my gait. I’d chosen a life in political action as a self-assured and overly confident 18-year-old, poised to change the world. I spent part of my eighteenth summer in Washington, D.C. 

I loved Washington. I drank in the hum of the city, the power and importance and history you could feel pulsing through its streets. When I used the metro, I admired how D.C. dwellers kept their travels business-like and straightforward, just the way I liked it. Gone were the backstreet meanderings of my small-town Idaho upbringing and the aimless, slow movement of farmers’ daughters with no place in particular to be. Everyone in D.C. had an urgent errand to dispatch and no time or need to interact with fellow passengers or take in the scenery. Eyes on Blackberries (yes, this was pre-iPhone), they walked with purposeful strides: slow-movers to the right, rushers to the left. It was orderly and controlled and swift. 

It wasn’t long before I learned to stop smiling at strangers like a wide-eyed Idahoan—it only confused people while they watched my hands nervously, expecting me to offer them an unwanted pamphlet or petition. I stopped noticing the hungry squirrels with their twitching noses that occupied sidewalks or the pigeons cooing beside bus stop benches. I stopped making eye contact and didn’t mind one bit. I felt D.C. and its residents understood me: they were willing to keep moving at my breakneck pace for 60-hour weeks rather than forcing me to tailgate their tractors on the highway like back home. 

———

Is it cliche to say my life didn’t end up how I thought it would? Maybe. Maybe it’s only cliche because so many of us have been rescued from the life we thought we wanted when we were 18 years old. 

The particulars aren’t relevant, but my fast-moving life in politics was pulled out from under me with little ceremony and less warning when my boss lost his re-election bid. My 10-year plan crumbled, my hopes died, and I felt (with all my teenage fervor) crushed. 

The next ten years brought college, a rediscovered affection for writing, marriage, a hodgepodge of jobs, and finally, two curly-haired daughters. Each year, circumstances slowed down my natural pace, sometimes maddeningly, like when I fought my physical limitations while pregnant or experienced the paralysis of anxiety. But nothing—absolutely nothing—has taught me to take a beat and practice some patience like motherhood. 

———

Mary Oliver’s Instructions for Living a Life commands: “Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” 

My near-daily walks through our unremarkable, quaint neighborhood with my children look nothing like rushing through the metro tunnels of Washington, D.C. I haven’t moved forward—metaphorically and physically—at that pace in a long time. When my first daughter started biking, I could barely stand the painstakingly slow wandering and near-constant pauses for rocks, bugs, leaves, nuts, and flowers. Still stubbornly stuck in a point-A-to-point-B mindset, I’d chide my daughter and hurry her along. “We have to keep moving,” I’d say.

Until finally, I realized, who says? Is the point of life forward movement? Or am I missing out on paying attention? On being astonished at a stunningly yellow bumble bee or a fragrant lavender bush? On having something to tell about: missing out on the vibrant, beautiful, mundane moments that make a life?

I’ve started to call our neighborhood ambling my patience walks. When Charlotte stoops to pick a dandelion, I allow myself to breathe deeply and watch the wind play in the grass. The endless curiosity of my daughters’ childhood has given me an immense gift I don’t know I could have captured on my own—and it’s not only patience or a slower stride. It’s a sheer astonishment at the quotidian and deep pleasure in the mundane. Now when Charlotte tells me, “Stop Mom, this is important,” I agree. This is important. This is what we’re here to do. 

Originally written and published by Emily Fisk.

Five Ways Loose Ends Can Be A Blessing

Have you ever looked at the backside of an intricate tapestry or piece of weaving or embroidery and noticed how incredibly different it looks from the finished side? The backside is covered with knots and jumbled bits of thread, tangled and twisted bits of color with no rhyme or reason. Just looking at the back gives no clue to the front, the artists intent muddied amidst the greens and blues, scarlets and ambers, colorful yet utterly chaotic when viewed from the back.

Loose ends dominate the work.

But as soon as you turn the piece over, the artist’s intent is obvious, the picture clears, the jumbled colors make sense. No loose ends found anywhere, just a beautiful piece of work, woven by the artist’s hands, telling a captivating story and suddenly making complete sense.

I’m in a season where I feel like I’ve been staring at the backside of a tapestry forever. Everywhere I look, all I see are loose ends. So many ‘ifs’ and no certainty. I’m a planner by nature but it’s super hard to plan when you don’t know what you’re planning for!

Do you feel like that too?

• Questions loom.

• Deadlines extend.

• Deals fall through.

• Timelines implode.

• Plans go completely awry.

And the loose threads and loose ends hang there, their pretty greens and blues taunting your heart:

“You’re questions won’t ever be answered.”

“If they are answered, the answer will be no.”

“You’re spinning your wheels.”

“We’ll get back to you in a month.”

“Just be patient.”

Why is it so hard to wait, to be patient, to let the doors open on their own? Why is it so hard to trust?

I’m in a waiting season, waiting for my book to be published, waiting for major house renovations to be completed, waiting for business issues to come to an end. But so far, no sign of closure on any of them.

Everything feels stalled and life is one big holding pattern.

Why is it so hard to be patient? To wait for the doors to open on their own?

Why is it so hard to trust?

In the waiting lies the test. Learning to be patient with His timing is a mark of maturity, a mark of character. It goes against human nature to let God’s plan unfold and not try to hurry things up! It’s hard to remember He’s actually more concerned about our future than we are. He see’s everything, the end from the beginning. But us? We see through a glass, darkly.

Here’s the thing, God is just as concerned for our lives as we are and in fact, He’s way ahead of us, working in our future, taking care of details we haven’t even thought about. He’s getting everything lined up for the next season. Heaven is absolutely buzzing on your behalf my friend!

Thankfully, I’m learning a lot as I wait for issues to resolve. I’m hopeful the five things I’m learning will help you too.

1. God has a plan. He alone knows the end from the beginning and He alone knows exactly what we need right now. (Clearly I need to grow a little more patient!)

2. His plan has a purpose. I want to think it’s all about me but it’s so not. His plans go far beyond my little life. God looks at the generations ahead, deep into the coming decades and He’s weaving a masterpiece we can’t even begin to understand.

3. Whatever His purpose is, it’s good. Romans 11:34 reminds us, “For who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has become His counselor?” I can’t know His reasons but I can know this: Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” I can rest in this truth whether my life turns out the way I’d hoped or not! All the threads are going to make sense when the time comes for me to turn the tapestry over and see it from His perspective.

4. The waiting is the big tell. Do I love God for who He is or for what He can give me? Until we get this one right, He might just let us keep waiting.

1. He’s letting me grow in maturity. I can possess every gift of the Spirit but until I’m producing the fruit of the Spirit, I’m not yet mature. Hebrews 6:1 says, “Let us go on to maturity.” Indeed.

If your life is filled with loose ends and unanswered questions, know there’s a reason. Trust His goodness as you walk through this season. I know the day will come when it will all make sense, when you hold the tapestry in your hands, turn it over and say, “Oh, how beautiful! I’m so glad I waited. Now it all makes sense!”

Friend, leave it to Him. He’s weaving something beautiful in your life even if all you can see is a jumble of threads, colors and knots. One day you’ll get to see it from His perspective and you will rejoice that you trusted in Him and not the loose ends!

Kate Battistelli is the author of Growing Great Kids-Partner with God to Cultivate His Purpose in Your Child’s Life, published by Charisma House. Her newest book, The God Dare, published by Barbour Books, will release in 2019. She’s mom to GRAMMY award-winning artist Francesca Battistelli and Mimi to her 4 children. She’s been married to her best friend Mike for 35 years and lives just outside of Nashville. Kate loves to cook and blogs about food and faith at www.KateBattistelli.com You can follow her on Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook.

5 Things to Keep in Check While Waiting on the Lord

I have heard it said that the teacher is always silent during a test. This may be true at some times, but I think that we often allow our own impatience to overcome our availability to actually hear God’s voice. 

This is exactly what happened to me when my husband first entered into the Navy. We had been given the news that we would soon be moving our family across the country to Chicago  where my husband would finish his training. We were not able to talk much at all while he was away aside from an occasional phone call and hand written letters. The responsibility of picking out our new home and moving our belongings had been entirely left up to me. At the time our oldest was only eleven months old and I was currently pregnant with our second child. I was having difficulty finding a home in a place that I had never been to before and the overwhelming urge to nest was beginning to consume my brain day and night. I finally decided that it would be best for our family to live in an apartment nearby the base and not in military housing. The area I had chosen had good reviews and seemed to be in a safe environment. I had based my decision off the urgency to find a home and what I had thought to be wise. 

The time had passed and we were finally able to make the journey across the country to be reunited as a family and move into our new home. Our new apartment was nice but what we didn’t realize was that the other expenses that came with our apartment would push us way over our housing allowance. Soon after that I became very sick with what I thought was the stomach flu and had to be rushed to the hospital twice. I was nearly 30 weeks pregnant during both of my visits to the hospital. The nurses were very concerned and placed me on a monitor because I had been having contractions that were closer together than most of the women who were in active labor. Thankfully, they were able to give me medicine that helped to control my upset stomach and all of my contractions. I was able to leave the hospital with my family but we weren’t able to go to our new apartment because there had been black mold discovered throughout our kitchen. 

My decision to move our family into the apartment was hasty and I had not given the Lord an opportunity to confirm the decision to me. God is very gracious, and we were able to stay in a hotel for a month through our insurance and later move into a military home. Our son was born shortly after that and he was perfectly strong and healthy. Seasons of waiting can be so challenging and sometimes our hasty decisions can lead us into seasons of turmoil. I like to go by these five reminders whenever I find myself needing to hear God’s voice:

1. You will have peace. 

Even if your situation is dire, God can still give you peace, because it’s not about your physical surroundings being at peace it’s about your heart. He wants you to have that same peace that He gave to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego when they chose to take on the flames of the fiery furnace in Daniel chapter 3. “You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you” Isaiah 26:3. Although my situation with the apartment seemed to be very logical, I felt very restless about the endeavor. Walking in peace doesn’t mean that you are waiting to see or hear various signs and wonders from God, it simply means that when and while you are making a decision your heart will be confident and at peace.

2. Is your heart filled with gratitude? 

Madame Blueberry is one of my most favorite Veggie Tales movies. If you’ve heard of Veggie Tales or maybe you’ve seen them when you were younger or with your kids now, you will know exactly what I am talking about. I love Veggie Tales because their shows are always filled with little nuggets of truth. “A happy heart is a thankful heart.” This statement couldn’t be more accurate. A happy heart truly is a thankful heart. Whenever I am waiting for something I always double check my heart posture. Discontentment makes it difficult to make decisions with patience. The best way to cultivate a heart of thankfulness is to think on things that are true. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

3. Other believers will confirm what God wants to say to you.

The Bible says in Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” It is important to be in fellowship with other believers outside the average Sunday church service in order to obtain Godly counsel. The best way to get into fellowship with other believers is to join a weekly Bible study that encourages members to be open with one another and talk about real life problems. I love going to my weekly women’s study. Having the opportunity to be around other women from different generations and various backgrounds has really helped me to stay in alignment with God’s plan for my life.

4. God’s Word will confirm it to you.

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” Hebrews 4:12. It’s so important to spend time in the Word and get quiet with the Lord. You won’t be able to hear what He wants to say unless you make time to listen. If you have little kids or a busy schedule this may seem challenging. Take some time to assess your day and maybe instead of listening to the radio in the car listen to the audio version of your Bible app or take a few minutes while your kids are napping to sit quietly before the Lord and just listen.

5. Are you willing to yield?

James 3:17 says, “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” This one always gets me. I often get tunnel vision whenever I set myself on a goal. My goal is the only thing I can think about all day all the time until I am able to achieve it. This is good, but it can also be not-so-good, because Isaiah 55:8 says that God’s ways go above and beyond what we could ever think or imagine. Sometimes God needs us to surrender our plans to Him in order to give us that future and a hope He talks about in Jeremiah 29:11. We should always be willing to yield ourselves to God’s way, because His way is the best way.

Written by Jo Rogers. Used with permission.