Stranger Danger

Recently I took my kids to a lake that I grew up going to with my family. Little by little they waded into the water, until they were happily swimming up and down the roped-off area. A couple other youngsters swam in and out of the area we were in, talking and laughing along with us. One little girl, we’ll call her Jesse, latched on and stuck with us for a couple hours.

We made small talk and chatted about what foods we liked and didn’t like. She showed us tricks she could do, like underwater handstands and how long she could hold her breath. We smiled and cheered her on. Then we decided to swim out deeper, so the kids could touch the buoys on the rope. Her face fell when she realized she couldn’t swim that far solo and didn’t have an adult to accompany her. We figured it out and she took my hand, scared but wanting to conquer the challenge. She did it, minor freak-out and all.

When we got back into a shallow spot, she asked if we wanted some burgers.

“My mom’s boyfriend is making some, and we can share them,” she said happily. “But just not to strangers. I can only share with people I know. Not strangers. Cuz you know, stranger danger!”

I hid my surprise behind a smile.

Oh sweetheart, we are still strangers!

I tried not to show her my pain for her, having watched over the course of the morning how her mom was more interested in her boyfriend than her daughter. Her mom’s actions were not unnoticed by this sweet six-year-old girl.

But it got me thinking, as most things do.

Are there times in my life as a believer that I am happily into a situation or sin, unaware that I am supposed to be estranged from it? Am I looking for bigger, more obvious signs of “stranger danger” before taking necessary precautions?

Maybe it’s the small outburst of anger that I rationalize; it wasn’t that bad, I didn’t yell that loud.

Or a little white lie; literally everyone exaggerates. Literally. everyone.

Maybe it’s an extra nag here and there for my husband; he hates when I nag, but…

What is my standard? Is my standard what the rest of the world is doing, or even what my Christian friends are doing?

My standard should be the Word of God and how He tells me to live my life. Little sins add up quick on a slippery slope, and He tells us to flee them altogether. Don’t even get comfortable with them.

When we are tempted in the small things, let’s remember this verse:

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.”
Psalm 19:14

May even the smallest thoughts and actions be pleasing to Him; may we love what He loves, hate what He hates. He is our strength, and our Redeemer!

And if you think of it, please lift Jesse up in prayer. God knows her by name - her mama and mama’s boyfriend too. Please pray that He will turn each of them to Himself, that they will repent of their sins and be given everlasting life. Pray that they will soak up His Word and thrive. Thank you. :)

Mom Anger + 3 Ways to Surrender

If you’re a woman then you’re a human and you’re going to make mistakes. Your kids and your husband will frustrate you to the moon and back and you’re going to get angry, cranky and irritated sometimes, it goes with the territory. We live in a fallen world with fallen natures and it takes everything in us to submit to the God who can conquer the sin reigning deep within.

I struggle with anger. Mostly because I have a way in my head I think everything should be. When it doesn’t look the way I want it to, I snap.

I answer harshly.

I get impatient.

I want to control my life and I want it to be a certain way–my way–which is rarely the way.

I’m selfish and I think I have rights but if we are truly following Christ, we give up our rights. We tell the Lord with all sincerity, “I surrender all” until we don’t and the ugly rears it’s head. I’m slowly learning how to truly surrender–my ways, my wants, my worship, my time, my fuse, my control, my everything–to the one who alone can change me from the inside out.

We can stress over our kids being kids, silly and sometimes highly annoying and disobedient and (especially if you have boys) way too loud! Or, we can thank God He gave us the great honor of raising our children, building them into the men and women of God He’s calling them to be.

Moms are builders. It takes time to build a life, years my friend. We do the same endless tasks over and over, teach the same lessons, correct the same behavior, pray the same prayers. And we see those tiny increments of hours and days turn into months and years, because it takes a long time to build children into the men and women of God He’s called them to be, the next generation who will change the world. The ones who will be willing to extend His hands and His feet to the lost, the desperate, the depressed, the weary, the wanderers, no matter where He leads them.

I learned three important strategies that helped to change how I viewed my role as a mother when I was in the thick of it. I believe they’ll help you too:

Pray whenever you can. In the carpool line, making lunches in the morning, folding endless loads of laundry, whenever. You don’t have to rise at dawn and have the perfect atmosphere, beautiful music and a lit candle to worship God. He knows. Do it whenever you can but do it…because wherever you do it, He’s there.

Cultivate a heart of thankfulness. When you really begin to thank Him for the lives He’s entrusted to you, you’ll view them differently. It’s a long process this parenting thing. But just like a building grows one brick and one story at a time, raising a child is one day, one month, one year at a time. It’s the day-in, day-out drudgery that can get to you if you let it. No one promises fame and fortune for being a mom. We do what we do in obscurity and hope eventually it will pay off. And if Love is leading you, it will. You’ll see destiny come forth and the children you raise will change the world.

Ask for forgiveness when you snap in anger. Kids deserve respect too and when we humble ourselves, repent and ask them to forgive us it models Godly behavior. Sin is sin, no matter how old you are.

The way you love is the way you’ll live. If you really do love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul and strength then His love will flow out of you naturally. Not perfectly mama, but naturally.

Because guess what–you’ll never be perfect and, neither will I!

Written for Strength & Song by Kate Battistelli.

Kate is the author of Growing Great Kids -Partner with God to Cultivate His Purpose in Your Child’s Life, published by Charisma House. Her newest book, The God Dare, published by Barbour Books, will release in 2019. She’s mom to GRAMMY award-winning artist Francesca Battistelli and Mimi to her 4 children. She’s been married to her best friend Mike for 35 years and lives just outside of Nashville. Kate loves to cook and blogs about food and faith at www.KateBattistelli.com. You can follow her on Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hearers and Doers: Valuing Proper Practice

I used to be of the opinion that if I could just renew my mind in God’s Word then I’d be well on my way towards living a sanctified life. I believed that head knowledge was half the battle and that right thoughts would surely mend wrong actions and motives.

In my circles, “Think Bible” was emphasized, and it’s important. But right thoughts are just the start.

There’s a plain, old, unromantic concept that seems to be up for grabs in our culture and that’s the idea of right practice.

Christian living (aka: doing right) may be out of fashion, but it is just as important as mental ascent to the right doctrine and is essential whether you feel like doing it or not. 

So while much of the blogosphere emphasizes correct doctrine,  I’ve noticed a failure to connect doctrine to local living. Yet, doctrine is not to be learned in a vacuum. Doctrine informs our living and demands our obedience.

Grace is the great enabler that propels us on to obedience, not a loosey-goosey spineless do-whatever-you-want stance. God would never push you to live more like the world but enables you to live counter-culturally and kingdom mindedly as we love others as He loved us. We can’t hold heaven in one hand and hell in another. Neither can Kingdom citizens live like God doesn’t care about holiness.

Psalm 37:3 Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.

We have churches full of people who know all the right things. We live in a time of unparalleled access to lexicons of Biblical information but we need to ask whether the church’s practice is better off for it.

Has all of this knowledge fallen on deaf ears or hard hearts?

Knowledge that doesn’t inform our desires, can never reform our lives.

I’m sure you’ve heard someone say that they feel like a total hypocrite if they do XYZ and they didn’t feel like doing it.

“I don’t feel like going to church, so I don’t want to be hypocrite. I have to be true to myself.”– as though actions must always be proceeded by correct feelings.

Sometimes you have to put your big girl pants on and do the right thing.

Any good mother will tell you this.

I rarely feel like getting up in the middle of the night with a cranky toddler, but I do it every.single. time. Changing sheets at 2 am has never been/never will be on my bucket list. But my mother-love and desire for my kids to be cared for and the knowledge that love is sacrifice informs my actions to get up and change sheets and give hugs and reassurance whether I feel it or not. My actions may feel hypocritical in the feelings department, but they are right and good just the same.

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. I Corinthians 10:31

 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. I Corinthians 6:20

Anyone who has been married for more than five years can tell you that the practice of kindness– whether you feel “in love” or not– is the great glue that keeps the home happy, and is the right course of action despite hormones, circumstances, or disappointments. It doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge disappointment, but it means that it doesn’t become an excuse to go postal on your husband.

At the end of the day, I realize that my desires at the moment have to be re-evaluated and put into their proper place behind right practice. It looks a lot like consistency–boring old self-control–informed by the mind but practiced in the local sense in your home and sphere.

Correct practice has taken a hit in Christian circles because we don’t want to be like the stereotypical church person, the one who knows all the right things but uses that knowledge as bludgeoning tools to look down on others or be the self-appointed church police pointing out everyone’s faults, when their own life is not so hot either. (Have you noticed that these types usually have “glaring faults” and you’re like, really!? You have time to point out other’s faults, but haven’t spent much time worrying about your own? But I digress. lol) We don’t want to be that person. We’ve over-emphasized the heart and put walls up around judging outward actions.

But I need to judge my own actions and ask, Am I loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, strength? Am I living according to His Word? Loving my neighbor as myself?

When I self-reflect, I can see that I need right practice more than I need more knowledge, and I think many, many woman are with me in this. We know quite a bit. We want to live it out, but we get stuck in the moment to moment choices.

How can we take practical steps to embrace correct practice and good old self-discipline, and embrace God’s wisdom for living, that, as it pans out, looks an awful lot like consistent Christianity?

Well, start with what you want and desire?

Most likely, if you are born again, your desire is to live a life that loves God and glorifies Him in a real way, vs a life that seeks self glorification.

Proverbs tells us that following after Wisdom is better than anything else you might desire. (Prov. 8:11)

And when we have that wisdom in hand and heart, we are to be “doers” of the word and not hearers only.

“What God commands, He provides the power to accomplish.” David Powlison

And a quick read-through of the book of James shows us how our desires drive our choices and our everyday walk.

So, If you can’t figure out why you can’t stop hating someone even though you know all the scripture about hate being like murder, and the command to love, etc… and you realize it’s not for lack of knowledge but for lack of desire that you will not obey (desire drives actions), you have to pray for new desires, and good news!!!—-> The Holy Spirit will help with this transformation, because that’s His job, and His desire for your life before you even recognized the need.

(God wants you to do right. He’s on your side in the obedience arena. You just have to make the choice to walk in truth!)

Then we trust and OBEY.

“Lord, you want me to love that person. I want to love you by obeying you. Help me to love that person as you would.”

So, how do you identify your true desires underneath the head knowledge?  Just look for the areas of conflict or tension in your life. It’s really that simple.

Ask yourself, What do I love so much that

• I’m willing to sin to get it

• I’m willing to war with another person to get it

• I’m willing to withhold love/punish to get it

• I’m willing to neglect the Lord over it

• I go to it for comfort.

• I’m willing to isolate myself and ignore sound advice to get it. (Pr. 18:1)

These questions help me to expose any unholy desires that smack in the face of God’s Word.

Look for the sin. But then look to Christ and ask the Holy Spirit for enablement and correction.

“Lord, why am I falling in this area?”

“Why am I so prone to this sin?”

“What lie am I believing about the source of my identify and happiness?”

Then take practical steps that may seem foreign to you and may make you feel like a hypocrite but that you know are exactly what the Lord wants you to do.

• Be kind to that woman who has always tried to undermine you.

• Don’t return an angry response, but offer a blessing.

• Put away the Kettle Chips if you are trying to diet. Stop even buying them.

• Be consistent to spend time in God’s Word.

Walk in the Spirit. Desire to love God most and first knowing that His desire for you is your sanctification so you are both on the same page when you want what He wants.

Written by Sarah Beals of Joy-Filled Days. Used with permission.