God's Goodness in Miscarriage

February 17, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Family, Motherhood, Scripture

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You've never failed me yet
I know the night won't last
Your Word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus, You're still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again

The song started, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep it together. “You have never failed me yet…” I started to cry, I could barely believe the words that were being sung - let alone sing them myself.

I left the sanctuary, ran into the parents’ room, and found two tiny babies playing with their moms. I couldn’t stay there. I left the room and stood at the door. God wanted me to worship. Even if I wasn’t singing, I needed to hear these words.

Just two days prior to this Sunday service, I had been in the hospital for a Dilation and Curettage. I had miscarried at 16 weeks. We unexpectedly went to my OB earlier in the week to see the dark ultrasound, the spot where the baby’s heart was no longer beating.

I felt failed by God. My womb that had been filled with joy and life was now empty, and so was I. Sadly, I had already been in this place before. In between the births of my two sons, I had also experienced a late-term miscarriage.

Loss is nearly impossible to understand. Feelings of shame, regret, fear, anger, and guilt are all normal. If you’re in the midst of this, let yourself feel these emotions. Rely on God to reveal Himself in the midst of it all.

Most verses of comfort I would seek also made me angry. Like James 1:17, which says, “Everything good comes from God.” How is this GOOD? It is really hard to process through verses like this, but that’s just it; it is a part of the process, and that is GOOD.

This verse popped up on my Instagram feed several days after my loss while working on this article. God clearly spoke to me, not something I have personally experienced too often.

He reminded me that losing a child is not good, but He is good. He does not promise me a life without struggles, but He promises me a life where He will see me through these trials, and that IS good. Glorifying him through this loss is GOOD. I will see my angel babies again, and that is GOOD.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

For me, good looks like being open with my losses - speaking at moms’ groups, sharing my story in this article. Talking with a nursing friend who wants to support grieving moms in the hospital setting. Having compassion and understanding for loss, that I wouldn’t have without the experience of loss myself. This is GOOD. God is in this. He is GOOD.

Find the good, whatever that looks like for you, and give thanks to God for it.

The song continues:

My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus, You’re still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again

The day after that Sunday service, this song played on repeat for me. I sang God’s praises again. He loves me, He loves you, and He loves our children.

Written by Becca Bergman. Used with permission.

Song quoted is “Do It Again” by Elevation Worship.

When Our Hearts Need Someone to Count On

February 17, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Friendships, Marriage, Scripture

I am nine, sitting cross-legged on an elementary-school gym floor that smells vaguely like rubber soles and ketchup. My friends and I are lined up in a row waiting to go to recess or art class or the library. We’re likely wearing scrunchies in our side ponytails and neon shorts; children of the eighties. The girls nearest me lean in, grinning, and say, “We want to tell you something. We’re best friends.” I look back and forth between the two of them, confused, because just yesterday the one with the strawberry hair told me that I would always be her best friend.

I ride my bike home alone that day, forlorn, and sit at the kitchen table with a cookie in my hand and my mama across from me.These things happen, she explains gently. I nod, feeling very grown-up and wise, even in my disappointment. I will think of this again when my crush flirts with me one day and holds the hand of a long-legged athlete the next. I will feel it when the conversation with the editor at the conference seems to go so well and then the rejection letter comes in the mail. I will revisit it when the whirling crowd online is landing on my site today and taking off to another one the next like a flock of spring sparrows.

It is the nature of humans to be fickle. We put rings on each other’s fingers and then signatures on divorce papers. We are employee of the month and then find ourselves on the lay-off list. We are dear friends and then time and space and life make us drift until we’re looking back at old photos and thinking, I haven’t seen her in a while. Yet we keep searching, hoping, longing for that person who will stay. The constant who will never go away.

In these moments, it comforts me to know “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Heb. 13:8). He isn’t going to pick someone else on the playground. He isn’t going to bring us roses and then forget to call the next day. He won’t recruit us for the pet project and then neglect to invite us to the celebration party. He won’t use us up and throw us out, pull us close and then push us away, whisper in our ear and then lose our phone number. Because His love for us isn’t based on our charm; it’s rooted in His character. It doesn’t come from His emotions but instead from an eternal commitment. It isn’t dependent on what we do for Him, but what He’s already done for us.

It gets even better: Jesus also tells us,“I am making everything new!” (Rev. 21:5). Who He is doesn’t change, yet He moves and pursues in endlessly creative ways. It’s what our hearts long for, what we’re really looking for when we exchange the friendship bracelets or say the vows or sit down at the desk in a new office for the first time. We want to know we can trust, completely, the one with whom we have aligned ourselves. And yet we also want to know that doing so will lead to life and growth and adventure. We want stability and excitement, consistency and change, familiarity and novelty.

When we try to demand all of this from a human being, we always end up disappointed. But the answer isn’t to shut down our hearts, to tell ourselves we’re being unrealistic or irrational. Instead, it’s to take those desires to the One who put them there in the first place, the only One who can truly fulfill them. Jesus “is the same yesterday, today and forever” (Heb. 13:8) yet He also says.“I am making everything new!” (Rev. 21:5). Both are what we need. Both are eternally true.

XOXO
Holley Gerth

Originally written and published by Holley Gerth. Used with permission.

How to Create a Family Mission Statement

February 11, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Family, Gospel, Motherhood, Scripture

Are you are wanting to become more intentional with your family, but you’re not sure what that looks like? Start by creating a family mission statement.

A mission statement may seem too corporate for you, but hear me out. It will really get your whole family on the same page. The family mission statement gives you a chance to prioritize what your family is all about.

Companies, clubs, businesses and pretty much every organization has a set of core values that they refer to when they need redirection. Shouldn’t we decide what our families core values are so we can refer back to them? As parents, we are the CEO’s of our homes.

I want my kids to know and understand what our family stands for. The family mission statement becomes your families identity; their DNA.

So how do you create your own family mission statement?

How to Create a Family Mission Statement:

ONE

List Core Values

Create your family’s core values with your spouse, and if your kids are older, have them contribute too. You could make this a family meeting. This list should not be created by just one person in the family. Collaboration is key. Here are some examples of values you could use: generous, caring, loving, etc.

In my family, my husband and prayed and brainstormed what we wanted our family to look like (our kids are too young to contribute to the conversation). We started by writing Riches are… and then jotted down our values. We wanted a list that was short and easy to remember.

Spending this time with my spouse really connected us and helped us be on the same page with our parenting. If your spouse isn’t on board, you can make this less formal by asking what they want your kids to be like when they are older.

TWO

Rank the Values

Now that you have a good list of family values, decide which values are most important to your family. You can number or star them or whatever method you would like. We tried limiting our core values so it would be easier to remember and less overwhelming. Try to limit your list to ten or less. Talk with your spouse about this and your kids (if they are old enough).

When deciding what to cut and keep, consider what your kids need to work on. If one of your kids are struggling with lying, add in honesty or truthful. That way when your child lies, you can say _(your last name)_ are honest. You can then use the mission statement to reinforce the good qualities you want your kids to possess. You can always adapt your mission statement later on, so don’t let that deter you from writing your mission statement.

THREE

Put the Mission Statement Together

You are at the point of writing your mission statement. Try to get to the point, and not be too wordy. Make the mission statement work for you. The easiest way to start is by writing your last name are… and list your values in whatever order you want. You can write your mission statement by putting the most important values first. Be creative here and make your mission statement fit your family’s personality.

FOUR

Display your Mission Statement

A family mission statement doesn’t do much good if it is written and left in a notebook. This is the most important step! Don’t skip it! Make your family mission statement really impactful, by displaying it in your home.

We typed our mission statement up, printed it numerous times, and framed it. I bought small black frames from the dollar store to display it. Our framed mission statement is throughout our house. We have our family mission statement on display in our hallway, kitchen, kid’s bathroom, and dining room.

If you are needing some ideas on ways to display your family mission statement, here are a few…

paint it on a canvas or wood board
use a program like Illustrator or PhotoShop to customize your own
type it out on a Word or Pages Doc and print off
use colored paper/ink
make it your phone’s background
make it your computer’s background

The more we see our family mission statement, the greater the impact it will have. What our families stand for is so important. Go create your families mission statement. We are in this together. Let’s be intentional in raising our children - the future generation.

Originally written by Amberlee Rich. Used with permission.