Raising, Not Babysitting


My husband does not “watch” our children.

He is their dad, I ask him if he has any plans before leaving just as he would ask me. But in the same way that it’s not my “job” to watch the children for him to go do anything at the drop of a dime, he does not “babysit” our children when I am gone. We are a team and an incredible one at that, parenting takes mutual respect for both our time and sanity.

Sometimes people will say something like “can you see if your husband will watch your kids” and this completely degrades the hugely important role he plays to our children! They aren’t just mine, we made them together, we went through everything we did together, we changed and grew and matured together. And likewise when my husband may say “let me ask my wife before going golfing” he gets the response “well that’s her job”. He respects me far too much to label me as his personal nanny, he is asking because he wants me to know he cares about the time we have together even if he knows I will say yes regardless.

I’m not sure when it came to fruition that we as parents aren’t RAISING children, merely just taking turns babysitting them until they move out, but it breaks my heart. We ask each other before doing things because we care about each other, not because I am not allowed to leave without his permission and certainly not because he assumes it’s my “job” to “watch” the children.

Having children is so frowned upon these days because of the mind set that we lose all of our freedom, but I promise you, there is no freedom greater than choosing to pour your life into the lives you have created. We do that together, not because it’s our job but because it’s our calling.


Originally written and posted on Instagram by Tay of Dirty Diaper Diaries.

Amy ParsonsComment