He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Class that day began so peacefully.

My university professor began the Christian Love and Marriage class with a “fun little assignment to get the creative juices flowing.”

The task was simple: Draw what you think of when you envision the love of God.

She went around and handed out crayons and blank sheets of paper for our project. We had fifteen minutes.

The first five I just sat there. How could I, who could barely draw straight lines for stickmen, draw the love of God?

As my peers joyfully scribbled away, I grabbed the black crayon. I still recall those next ten minutes of worship.

The alarm rang — time for show and tell. Each of us went around and shared our drawings, explaining why we drew what we did.

The first student unveiled her picture: a collage of lipstick red hearts, shiny bubbles, and a dozen or so smiley faces.

The second student revealed a unicorn galloping over a rainbow.

The third, a meadow with the sun shining down on laughing butterflies.

The fourth, a worn-out teddy bear.

As each explained their picture, one thing became obvious: despite my previous assumption, none was joking. All artists took their work seriously.

“God’s love makes me feel a kind of warmth inside,” explained one girl.

“Yeah, his love is magical, like the best dream you don’t want to wake up from,” added another.

“I just see a big bouquet of butterflies when I think about how God loves all of us.”

“I just feel a sense of home with God’s love, like I do when I remember my childhood teddy bear.”

I revealed my picture. My classmates were first shocked. Then confused. Then disgusted.

“That’s pretty barbaric of you,” said the first.

“I don’t think such a gory event should depict God’s love,” contributed the second.

“This is why some people don’t want to explore Christianity,” scolded the third.

In my drawing, a hill quaked. Lightning flashed. Darkness enveloped. Two dark crosses backdropped the third. My sore hand held up my nearly torn through artwork depicting my Savior dying on the cross for my sins.

“I believe this to be God’s own picture of his love,” I said.

God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

 

Fact or Feeling?

Notice what happened: When prompted to draw what each envisioned as the love of God, each drew what they felt when considering the love of God.

Instead of looking without themselves, they gazed within. The objective reality of God’s love for sinners was evidenced for them — not in the crushing and torture of the Son of God two thousand years ago — but was displayed in the fluttering sensations in their own hearts. How did they know God loved them? Their feelings told them so.

And their inners did not tell them of the fierce love of God demonstrated in the Son of God being brutally executed as he bore the wrath of God on sinners’ behalf. The fallen human heart is too politically correct, too Hallmark, too civilized to mention that God so loved the world that he sent his only Son to be brutally murdered for it.

When God showed his love for sinners, it was rated R.

 

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

If handed a box of crayons and a paper, I would be surprised if many would draw what my nominally Catholic peers did. But I too often share their disposition to look within instead of without to see whether God truly loves me from day to day.

• I felt like I counted my family’s interests above my own today: He loves me.

• I didn’t experience much joy in the word the past few mornings: He loves me not.

• I am happy because I finally shared the gospel with my coworker: He loves me.

• I was incredibly angry in my heart towards my spouse last night: He loves me not.

• My heart overflowed today in corporate worship: He loves me.

• I didn’t feel any warm sensations of his presence during prayer: He loves me not.

This life is utterly exhausting. It may not be legalism, but feelism is just as tyrannical.

Although it is true that if we have absolutely no subjective experience of God’s love ever, we most likely are not a child of God (Romans 5:5; 8:16). But we must not confuse faith’s gaze from the cross to our feelings. The Spirit in Romans 5:5 directs our gaze to the cross in Romans 5:6.

 

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know

The gospel has a far better word for us than our fickle feelings:

• The Father sent his only Son into the world so that I might not die in my sins (John 3:16): He loves me.

• That Son emptied himself and took on human form to rescue his people (Philippians 2:6–7): He loves me.

• Jesus Christ loved his Father and perfectly obeyed on my behalf, even unto death on a cross (Philippians 2:8–11): He loves me.

• Jesus stepped forward in Gethsemane (John 18:4), bowing his knee to his Father’s will (Matthew 26:42): He loves me.

• He was beaten as to be unrecognizable (Isaiah 52:14). He was whipped, scourged, spit on, mocked, slapped, bloodied, beaten, shamed: He loves me.

• The Father crushed his own Son (Isaiah 53:10). He gave him the cup of wrath bearing my name (John 18:11). God did not spare his own Son (Romans 8:32): He loves me.

• The Light of the world was snuffed; the Bread of life, broken; the King of kings, executed; the Lamb of God, slain; the Son of Man, tortured; the Son of God, forsaken; the Rock of ages, stricken; the blood of Christ, shed: Oh, how he loves me.

• And the Father raised the Son from the dead. The Son reigns over the universe as my great Prophet, Priest, and King. The Spirit has made me new, is sustaining repentance and faith, and has sealed me for the day of Christ. He loves me.

• Jesus, our life, is coming back. He will marry us. He will take us into his kingdom to reign with him. The time hastens on. He loves us.

As Christians, we no longer look to the drooping flower of our own love for God, peeling away petal by petal, muttering frantically to ourselves: He loves me, he loves me not.

Instead, we sing,

When Satan tempts us to despair,
Reminding of the lack within,
Upwards we look and see him there,
Who proved his love by conquering sin.

We spend our lives looking outside of ourselves to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:1–2), who has proven God’s love once and for all, and will amaze his people afresh with that love forever.

Originally written by Greg Morse for Desiring God. Used with permission.

Consider the Lilies

Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. (Luke 12:27 ESV

It’s the simple things. The common daylily that opens its lovely petals at dawn and by dusk is already fading … each magnificent flower lasting only a day, then quickly replaced by another. A shimmering rainbow hanging out of a dreary sky. Monarch butterflies dancing among the flowers. The laugh of a baby, innocent and happy.

Isn’t it lovely that our Lord taught us to stop and consider the small things? In this huge, busy, troubled world, Jesus bids us pause and really look at tiny things—and learn from them. Consider the intricacy of a flower, formed as a seed, nourished by sun and rain and soil, delicate in its beauty, unique, and distinctive … here for such a short little time. Would any of us bother to create something that elaborate knowing how quickly it would fade? God bothered. He bothered to do this amazing thing, to create beauty that strikes joy in our hearts and lifts our cares for just a moment or two. His assurance to us is that if He cares that much for the details of a flower, He certainly cares for us. “But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!” (Luke 12:28 ESV).

What happens when we consider the rainbow? We remember: No matter how dark, there will be an end to that darkness. Scholars believe that Noah worked for decades building the ark. Then, he gathered the animals, shut himself inside with them and his family and endured 40 days of continuous rain followed by a 150-day flood and then a long wait until dry land reappeared. Basically, that was a very long period of darkness and uncertainty. Terrifying, really. I mean, all of mankind was being destroyed. Noah and his family would be trapped in that boat, so it sure better float. Yet … in the end, Noah and his family were able to create a new life in a lush and fertile world. The rainbow was a reminder to him—and to us—that God will never again use a flood to destroy all life. And to this day, after the storm comes a rainbow. A rainbow that tells me to hang on. Fills me with awe when I witness all that multicolored beauty stretching wide across the sky. Definitely worth the considering.

How about those Monarch butterflies dancing among the flowers? Think of all the many lessons they teach us. Those butterflies didn’t start out flying—they slogged along as caterpillars. Before the flying and beauty came a season of darkness and waiting. When I see a Monarch, I remember that with God the Creator, transformation is possible.

I’m enjoying a sweet baby these days, one of four grandchildren staying at our house for a time with their mama while their daddy is traveling. The innocence of this baby’s laughter tugs at my heart. Just smiling at that little guy turns into a wide grin on my face and a chuckle. He reminds me that I am God’s child. I don’t need to have all the answers. When I look toward God, He sees me with joy and laughter because He loves me even more than I love that sweet little baby boy.

Lord God, thank You for the life lessons in the simple, everyday things. Give me eyes to see and a heart to stop and consider all You have made and all that Your creation teaches me about You. Thank You for the reassurance that You, who care for the daylily and the grasses that last only a short while, certainly care for me! Lord, You’ve made a beautiful world. You speak through all You have made. Thank You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Originally written and published by Sharon Gamble of Sweet Selah Ministries.

Six Ways to Redeem Playdates

As a mom of three little boys, playdates are part of our regular rhythm of life. My kids love playing with their friends, and I should love fellowshipping with other Christian moms, right? But to be honest, playdates often leave me discouraged. I go into a date longing for Christian community, but walk out feeling like it was no different from time spent with nonbelieving friends.

I recently shared my feelings with a few other moms (ironically at a playdate), and I was surprised to learn that they feel the same way. How is it that we — a group of moms who love Jesus — can gather for two hours and talk about nothing more than diapers and diets?

We decided then and there that it’s time for our playdates to be seasoned with the gospel. How do we practically achieve that? Moms, here are six ways we can redeem our playdates.

1. Practice humble hospitality.

Playdates give us an opportunity to welcome others in the joy of the Lord. God’s word tells us to “show hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9). Remember, little ears are always listening. Do your children hear you complaining about the state of your house, or do they hear you eagerly anticipating fellowship with friends?

A tidy, beautiful home can help foster fellowship, but it is by no means a prerequisite. Go ahead and clean your house, but let the lingering crumbs and fingerprints communicate humility and camaraderie, as if to say, “I’m in the trenches, too.”

Greet your sisters, nephews, and nieces in Christ with holy affection like you would your own family (2 Corinthians 13:12). Create a context for redeemed playdates by showing humble hospitality.

2. Use playdates as a spiritual training ground for your kids.

The Christian playdate should be a safe and grace-filled training ground for our kids as we seek to train them up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). If your child hits another child, privately instruct him in confession and repentance. If yours is the one with the bump on his head, comfort him and help him extend forgiveness to his friend (Luke 17:3-4). Lean on and encourage each other as you seek to raise children who will love the Lord.

3. Choose your words wisely.

One of the marks of female Christian fellowship should be wholesome, edifying conversation. When we get together with other women, we have to be ever so careful to “let no corrupting talk come out of [our] mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

While women of the world may complain about their husbands or dish dirt on their neighbors, Christ-following women are called to a higher and holy standard. This doesn’t mean we can’t share our struggles with one another. If you are struggling, by all means, speak up! But check the motives of your heart — are you venting to make yourself feel good or sharing with the expectation of being encouraged (and possibly rebuked) by your sisters in gospel love?

Instead of tearing others down with your words, build each other up with Spirit-filled encouragement. Share what you have been reading in the Bible or what God has been teaching you about himself. You might even praise a child for her kindness, or tell your friend how you admire the way she handled a difficult situation. Speak words of life and point each other to Christ.

4. Look and listen.

Look for opportunities to serve one another in love (Galatians 5:13). Hold another mom’s baby, help a mom of three get her kids into the car, or bring a meal to the mom whose husband is away.

Listen well. Ask God to give you ears to hear your friend’s heart. Make sure you have really listened before offering any encouragement or counsel, and if you can, offer to talk in greater depth outside of the playdate (Proverbs 18:13).

5. Pray while you play.

Pray with and for one another. If your kids are still tiny and immobile, pray over them while they crawl around. If they’re a bit older, invite them to pray before snack time by taking turns praising God. Pray a silent prayer for the mom who is in the midst of disciplining her child. Pause and pray with your own child who is struggling to obey. Ask how you can pray for your friends during the week.

Teach your kids that we can pray even while we play!

6. Invite others in.

Jesus loves children and their mothers, and desires for them to know and love him too. “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them,” he says, “for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14).

The way to a mom’s heart is often through her children. Invite your child’s nonbelieving friends and their moms to your playdates so they can experience genuine gospel community and the love of Jesus firsthand. “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

Moms, it’s time to redeem the playdate. God has so much more in store for us in our fellowship than just keeping our kids busy until nap time. John Newton once wrote, “May Christ be our theme in the pulpit and in the parlor.” With God’s help, let’s covenant to make Christ the theme in our playdates — inviting him into our homes as we gather and play for his glory.

Originally written by Chelsea Stanley for Desiring God.

In The No

“Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best;

but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Hebrews 12:9-11 (NIV)

When our boys were young they slowly morphed into teenagers, slipping into an unrelatable realm, at least for me. (I had never been a teenage boy.) The early years were easy in comparison. Over time, lack of sleep from midnight feedings turned into waiting up for my teenagers until I heard the crunch of tires on gravel. Parenthood evolved. One moment I was changing diapers and the next juggling issues like sex and alcohol. It became risky. I loved them, even when their attitudes were unattractive, but my love was sometimes expressed in ways that seemed harsh because I said “no” and wouldn’t give them what they wanted.

Still, this powerful, two-letter word, N-O, gets between us and the things we want too. Like you, God loves his children and gives them good gifts, but He doesn’t always give us what we want. In fact, He often keeps us from things we think we’ll enjoy. Even though we know God is the ultimate Father, a God who loves through all circumstances as we grow, there is still this parent-child conflict that occurs in our hearts. Fortunately, God isn’t confused or frustrated at our rebellion or poor choices. However, He is grieved for us when we challenge His “no” because it reveals a darker truth…we don’t trust Him.

Unfortunately, modeling my parenting after God wasn’t always easy. I wavered between being too strict and enabling bad behavior.  I often tell of one situation that happened during our son’s Senior year of high school. After Prom ended he and his girlfriend came to our house to watch a movie.  When the movie was over he came to me and asked, “Mom, would it be okay if she stayed the night?”

Surprised by the question I said, “No. She needs to go home.”

“But it’s really late and her mom said it was okay,” he argued respectfully.

Frustrated, I responded, “I’m not sure why her mother would allow it, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not okay. She needs to go home.”

“Why not? We’re not going to do anything?” he pleaded with a half smile, trying to wear me down.

Then inspiration hit. I asked, “If she were your daughter would you let her stay the night at her boyfriend’s house after prom?”

His quick answer surprised me, “No!”

“Then why are we having this conversation?” I asked victoriously.

Defeated, he turned and sauntered to the couch. Thinking it was settled I went back to reading my book. However, a half-hour later his girlfriend was still there. I marched over to them and found they were dozing off! Shaking him awake, I once again told him to take her home.

“We’re tired,” he growled.

“I don’t care if you’re tired,” I said angrily.  “Either you take her home, or I will!” Outwardly I was stern but inwardly battling with doubt. Am I being silly? Will he hate me? I asked myself questions like these even though I knew the truth. My actions reflected the right thing for my son, but my attitude was as gentle as a charging bull. I was angry and determined.  I was “right.”

“You’re not taking my girlfriend home! I’ll take her,” He announced, like he was the parent. Then, he took her home.

Although the outcome was good the circumstance took me off guard. I didn’t give in, but I certainly wasn’t bearing the fruit of the Spirit during our interaction! However, the possible consequences were not worth the risk. I knew if I let this go without exercising my authority as my child’s protector against “things he thinks he’ll enjoy” then I was enabling him in his destruction. My job was not to make my children comfortable or to make them happy. My job was to mold them into Godly adults--to make them set apart for God and to demonstrate His love for them the way God does for me.

Admittedly, I have failed to exercise my authority with grace in many circumstances (this being one of them). At times I did allow my son to get away with something toxic to his soul because I wanted him to like me. It didn’t work. It backfired, creating more conflict. He didn’t respect me. It wasn’t until he moved out that I realized how inconsistent I had been. (The “yo-yo” mom does not work on a child who knows how to “walk-the-dog!”) Even when I did do the right thing I often did it with the wrong motives. Instead of loving him too much to allow him to do something destructive I said no because I was trying to rescue him from experiencing pain (because it was too painful for me).

Thankfully, parents are covered by God’s grace too. Now, instead of losing sleep over my failures I bring them before God and ask Him to redeem the wounded places in the hearts of my children, fulfilling the needs I failed to meet. I seek my perfect Father and ask Him to set loving boundaries for my grown children that draw them to Himself. Now that my role has changed I feel a freedom to express favor like I would to a friend. Advice does not pass my lips unsolicited, but I am available to talk. I love showering them with good gifts and spending time with them. And, by the grace of God, they are respectful, loving, fun, grateful young men who know the LORD. Having said that, I am anticipating future flops. I am not expecting, from this day forward, to be the perfect mother, grandma or mother-in-law. But, by His authority, I will choose to walk by faith in the “no.”

"Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For He wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal."

Job 5:17-18 (NIV)

Written by Marlene McKenna.