Let Me Tell You a Story

This has been years in the making, and I have often prayed of when to start writing. When to share. The pieces haven’t been there - it always has been not yet. But now, it’s time.

I am going to share fractions of how the Lord has worked in my life. I’m not sure how it will look and where it will go - He isn’t done yet, of course. I don’t have a story tied up with a bow. But my deepest desire is that I will convey His goodness, and that you will come away with two things:

Pain isn’t bad, and God is always trustworthy.

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Josh and I talked about adoption before we ever started dating. He was moving with his family to another country, and he entertained thoughts of how to get involved in an orphanage there. Him, fresh into life in a new country; me, fresh out of life in a new country. Both: a desire to care for those who didn’t have a family.

I was heartbroken to leave that particular mission field. But I thought someday the Lord would bring me back; I had grand plans and all. I knew He had led me to return to the States, as much as I didn’t want to. I thought for sure He would move me back once I’d gotten married. The house I walked past almost daily, the one I’d researched from the sale listing and figured out how many bedrooms I could turn it into – it would wait, right? He could make that happen.

Josh and I got married and settled into our 642-square-foot apartment. Tiny by our standards, lavish by others. I looked out our bedroom window at the sparrows that always sat on the wires. You look after their every need…and You look after mine. Thank You. Would you bring us back there, please?

I longed to go.

Year after year, to this day, my husband still grins when he asks, “has it been three months? You’re about due for a need-to-move itch.”

Over time the yearning for that specific country has waned, as I see such need elsewhere. But my longing to move resurfaces every few months. I long for warmth and sun. for barefoot babies and gardens. for a home with many bedrooms, space for many children, land - that we can afford. And yet He has us here, in a cold little New England town, with many of our dreams out of reach. Contentment is something I’ve had to fight for.

“You want how many kids?” people are always surprised.

“Ten,” I say. “Or more.”

“Is your husband okay with that?”

“You kidding?” he pipes in. “I want as many as the Lord will give us.”

And here we are, with our two sweet boys. Immensely grateful and wondering what His timing is for bringing us more.

Instead of a house with many bedrooms, we are in a duplex with two bedrooms. Instead of acreage and gardens and animals, we share a backyard and have been trying our hand at raised beds in a corner of the lot. Instead of great health, I am forced to put many things (like childbearing) on hold.

I could complain.

But I know that His ways are good and we are where we are because He wants us here. So, I look for the blessings and I turn this waiting into a classroom.

We have plenty of space for our family. We have a yard to play in and let the dog run in. We have the ability to get creative with garden space, and the time to learn and get good at growing food on a small scale. We share the duplex and yard with my brother and sister-in-law, which has been one of God’s greatest blessings to us all. Josh and I have time to focus on training up our boys and setting a family rhythm before adding more children in. I have time to get healthy. There are countless other thanksgivings I could share.

God does what He wants when He wants, and there is no better way.

So I wait, and wait some more.

To be continued…

Sweet Provisions

As I folded laundry this afternoon, I thought about our family’s last few years. Have you ever had moments where you realize how God has consistently answered your prayers?

About five years ago I was super pregnant with our oldest, and the bathroom ceiling in our apartment fell in. It wasn’t a situation I handled particularly well; I was thoroughly done living there and used the mess as a way to get out. We moved in with my parents while we looked for a new place.

Finding another place was challenging, but we kept praying. Even though I hadn’t handled it all well, God provided. We finally found a sweet little 642 square foot condo that looked like a dream. We were able to move in a few weeks before our boy was born, which was an extra blessing as I had time to unpack and settle.

We made friends with our neighbor on the other side of our wall and chatted with her regularly. She loved seeing Levi grow and she was a great support as we temporarily cared for another little one. Then one day she found a place that suited her better, so we said our good-byes. Since we had the same landlord, she invited us in to see if we’d want to move our things over to a more updated condo. The layout and functionality of her condo was even more of a dream to us (me), so we worked it out and moved over. Another sweet provision.

Eleven months after Levi was born, we discovered another little boy was on the way. We would need to find another place to live, since our landlord only allowed for three. We began praying for another place where the boys could have their own bedroom and we would have a bit more space.

Some time later, my parents found an investment property they loved. A big, old, beautiful duplex with a great yard. We weren’t expecting to rent from them, again, but God worked it out wonderfully. Two bedrooms, an eat-in kitchen, a bright and sunny porch - it wasn’t hard to fall in love. We helped with some dirty work to get the place move-in ready, and were able to get in just before Caleb was born. Another provision.

Standing in the basement of our duplex, folding laundry for the umpteenth time, I am so thankful for how God has provided for us as our needs arise. He has given us just what we need, when we need it. Often He gives us extra, more than we were expecting or could realize we’d need. He sees ahead and He brings us where He knows is best.

Do you have stories like that, of His provision? Do you think of them sweetly, remembering how good He has been to you? I hope you do (and I’d love to hear them). He is such a good, gracious, generous God!

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Cling to the Cross

This post has been in the works for what seems like forever. Thoughts have been plentiful, but the wisdom and ability to pull it all together has been a struggle. I can share thoughts, but if they are not governed by God’s Word they will do us no good!

It seems wise to set a foundation, and build upon it. This post will be an explanation and foundation of sorts for the posts to come. I have been praying that each one would be directed by the Lord, used for His glory (please, be praying the same!). Here we go.

We must understand that we are at war. We may have been able to ignore it because life has been easy and comfortable. But, we are at war. It’s not soldiers marching toward each other, at least not at this point; and even then, lines blur. The true war isn’t physical: it’s good versus evil. Truth versus lies. God against Satan. The bigger battle is spiritual.

Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Evil doesn’t play fair. Evil knows no bottom; there is no depth too deep for it to go. But as Christians, we don’t play by Satan’s “rules.” We follow the Lord Jesus Christ. Truth is not spread by cheating, manipulating, complaining, throwing punches, slandering, etc. We don’t get to play dirty.

All that’s going on in America shouldn’t really surprise us. As a people, we have been walking away from the Lord for decades. There comes a time when He removes His protection (see the Israelites) – and I believe this is where we are at. Our country has allowed evil to run rampant. We say homosexuality is fine; lying and cheating are normal; divorce comes with marriage; killing preborn babies is desirable. Did you know that abortion is now the leading cause of death in the USA? How much blood we have on our hands!

“What our nation calls feminism, God calls rebellion. What our nation calls religious diversity, God calls idolatry. What our nation calls reproductive rights, God calls murder. What our nation calls sexual orientation, God calls abomination. What our nation calls enlightenment, God calls darkness.
The only way for our nation to be healed is for her people to come into agreement with God’s Word, repent of wickedness and receive the gracious pardon of God through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
- Rusty Thomas

We must repent!

We often think the Gospel is just for unbelievers, yet it is crucial to our daily lives as believers. We are not exempt from temptations, and when we give way to sin – we must forsake it. Sin is grievous, evil; so undesirable we should spit out any taste of it. Repent, friends! Turn from sins, little and big, and go back to your Heavenly Father. He is always faithful to forgive. We need to make things right with Him quickly, and move on!

We as a Church must get back to Scripture and sound doctrine. We must be unapologetic about it. There is no other Way. We will be hated by the world – Jesus tells us this:

“If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you” (John 15:18-19).

Again, this is a spiritual battle. People hate Jesus; therefore they hate His Church. I have found that this road, walking with Jesus, is a lonely one. Ironically, I know I’m not the only one – and this will be a later post.

But the intense loneliness, the challenge to discern good from almost-good, the persecution that may come – it is all worth it.

We are heading into rougher waters as a country, no doubt. Things will continue to get hard. But we are given one life, one day at a time and the Lord asks that we use it faithfully for Him. May we not be like those to whom He says, “I never knew you.” May we not think we are following Him if we choose not to read His Word and let it change our lives. We will either stand for Him or we won’t. Our children will see us cling to Him, or they’ll watch us try to cling to crumbling idols.

I am praying you and I will cling desperately to Him. I am burdened that as a whole, the Church has neglected discipleship and as a result many who thought they knew Him are finding that they don’t. There are also many who want to know Him, but don’t know how or where to start. This blog does not replace in-person discipleship, and there are many things I am not qualified to talk about. But I am praying that the Lord would use the words on this website to encourage you and point you to Himself. Upcoming posts will be aimed to do just that (like usual, but He has increased my determination ;)). We need to spur each other on; we have an ever-pressing need for strong, Godly women. May He make us so!

Psalm 113

Praise the Lord!

Praise, O servants of the Lord,
Praise the name of the Lord!
Blessed be the name of the Lord
From this time forth and forevermore!
From the rising of the sun to its going down
The Lord’s name is to be praised.

The Lord is high above all nations,
His glory above the heavens.
Who is like the Lord our God,
Who dwells on high,
Who humbles Himself to behold
The things that are in the heavens and in the earth?

He raises the poor out of the dust,
And lifts the needy out of the ash heap,
That He may seat him with princes—
With the princes of His people.
He grants the barren woman a home,
Like a joyful mother of children.

Praise the Lord!

Year-End Sentiments

“I’m not making any plans for 2021 - I want to see what I’m agreeing to first!”

Have you noticed there isn’t much goal-setting and resolution-making going on right now? What a strange year this has been! Many of us are looking at 2021 a little hesitant, not sure of what awaits us. Either that or we are frantically rushing forward to leave 2020 behind!

“Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
Matthew 10:27-31

Each time we have moved to a new place, there have been little brown sparrows. I’ve learned to look for them; sitting on the wire at one apartment, resting in the trees at another house, and now they perch all along our fence. They show up on their own, happily chirping without a care in the world. They are a constant reminder to me of how the Lord has cared for me and my family, regardless of what goes on around us!

I believe 2020 has been a good year, because the Lord ordained it. He saw fit to bring each day and its dealings. It has been a hard year, no doubt about that. But He has exposed darkness, He has shone light in even the corner shadows where evil has lurked unnoticed. He has shuffled our lives so that we - if we are paying attention - can see yet again how life is not in our control. He has been re-prioritizing many things for many people. Has it come without pain? Some of it, but not all of it. Yet He knows what He’s doing and He has cared for us.

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, I hope you leave 2020 energized. Going forward, we have such opportunity to share the hope of the Gospel to a dying world! We are not able to go on in life just coasting along; we either believe in the Lord or we don’t. We will either stand for His truth or we won’t. It’s hard, but it’s simple.

These are good days, friends. These are days we get to show our children how to live for Christ. These are days we get to be even more purposeful in teaching them and training them in the way God lays out for us. Now is the time to be intentional with our marriages, to put our minds to work in our households, to know that what we are doing as wives and mothers is a holy calling.

This next year is unknown, just like any other year. It will likely be hard and refining. But praise God for the refinement, that we would know Him more and be better able to bring Him glory!

Keep your chin up, dear friends, as we go into this new year. We are not without hope! Be refreshed, knowing that the Lord has already numbered your days and He will not leave you for any one of them. He is always present; a very present help in time of trouble (Psalm 46:1) and always near you in pleasant times too.

Run the race the Lord has called you to. Spend your days immersed in His Word and in prayer, looking for ways to serve and bless others. We have good works ahead of us for His glory, let’s walk in them. A life spent wholly for the Lord is certainly not a life wasted!

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”
Ephesians 2:10

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“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:12-14

Happy New Year!

- Amy