Finances and Contentment

I have always considered myself a relatively content person…until it came to finances.

My dad is a pharmacist, which means after he got his doctorate we were financially secure. My parents were very “Larry Burkett” with their money, so it’s not like we grew up lavishly surrounded with every material possession we desired, but money wasn’t something I had to think about.

That changed when I married my beloved fuzzy mountain man. He runs his small family flooring business, and as all contractors know in summer we “feast” and in winter we “famine”.

To be honest, that has been pretty difficult for me to get used to. The first winter of our marriage it was just my husband and I, starving was no problem (not literally starving, just tightening the belts a bit). But our second year, I had a newborn to think about and all my mothering protective instincts were out in full force. God had to show me in miraculous ways (if you’ve read the second issue of 2018’s Strength and Song magazine you will remember the article I wrote about that) that He is my provider, and my security needs to lie in Him, not my material wealth.

This lesson has been hard to accept, especially when others around me seem to be flowing with financial stability and everything their heart’s desire. Being “poor” isn’t something you can openly talk about in our culture – for some reason, it has a shameful stigma that just shows how deeply Americans place value and self-worth in money and financial prosperity. For my husband and I, we are called to a path in life that will NEVER reap wealth that can be measured with a dollar sign. We see others around us invest in the perfect house, the perfect car, the perfect hair and clothes, and we know that will NEVER be us. Not because any of that is evil (it isn’t), but because God has made it clear in the greater plan He has for our life that we can’t put down roots right now.

My mom and I recently went through some Bible verses that helped to open my perspective to a biblical view of finances, and I want to share them with you.

Contentment and Material Wealth

For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

1 Timothy 6:7-10

What a convicting passage! How can I hold on to discontent after reading that?

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:11-13

We say the phrase “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” all the time, in every context. But did you realize it was written specifically in context of contentment despite your material circumstances? It carries a whole new meaning in that light.

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5

Is that promise from Jesus enough? Is the knowledge that He will never leave or forsake you enough for you, friend? It should be! What is in the way of you believing that to be true?

True Wealth

Okay, so if not monetarily, how should we determine value? What is wealth according to God’s standards?

Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?

James 2:5

Receive my instruction, and not silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold; For wisdom is better than rubies, and all the things one may desire cannot be compared with her.

Proverbs 8:10-11

By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches and honor and life.

Proverbs 22:4

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.

Matthew 6:19-20

I could share more, but I hope you get the point. True wealth is fearing God and placing your faith in Him. Why do we strive for all the things here on earth to the neglect of storing up treasures in heaven? May God open our eyes to an eternal perspective when it comes to our finances. May we place our budgets and paychecks before Him and seek His will on any changes that need to be made. May we rejoice in His provision, no matter the figures we make.

Originally written by Natalya Brown for Ordinary Life - in His Timing. Used with permission.

The Bigger Picture

Is it paying off?

Am I really bearing fruit?

Are my kids getting it?

Is God getting glory from my life?

Have you asked these questions too? It can be hard to keep going sometimes, not knowing if all your labor is worth it. If it’s even making a difference.

Did you know? Abraham never saw the generations promised to him. They certainly came, and the number of his descendants is increasing - but he didn’t live to see it. Neither did Isaac, or Jacob; they all lived with the belief that this particular promise from God would be fulfilled - yet they never saw it in their lifetimes.

They did see forward motion. Progress. But they were each only a part of God’s big picture.

So it is with us, friends. We each are only part of God’s big picture. There may be things in this life that He places before us and calls us to, that we never see to completion. Someone else may continue our ministry and see the more abundant fruit; one of our kids or grandkids may pick up the baton of a certain discipline and perfect it.

What matters is our faithfulness. We must remain faithful to what He puts in front of us, whether we see the results or not. He desires our obedience and trust. This life is so much bigger than just us! He knows what He’s doing. He has plans that involve people, time, places, and things; He works all these things together in His perfect way and timing.

Look for fruit as a mark that you’re in the right direction, to see what the Lord is doing - but focus on faithfulness. Trust that He has a plan, and you are a part of it. Thank Him you are a part!

In Him,

Amy Parsons

Comparison Is Not the Thief of Joy

Comparison isn’t the thief of joy.

Helping my seven-year-old write a compare-and-contrast essay on puppies and kittens is like a jaunt into the human psyche. We educate our kids so that they’re really good at articulating what’s the same and what’s different. We make sure they can evaluate all the ways a puppy measures up to a kitten. But when they notice a child in a wheelchair or a figure skating man who’s acting like a girl, we clam up and wish they hadn’t noticed any of it. And once they start drawing comparisons with themselves, we do more than clam up; we call it sin.

If Teddy Roosevelt’s maxim is true, that “comparison is the thief of joy,” then it seems we’re all comparing and contrasting our happiness away.

Roosevelt is clearly onto something. Head over to Pinterest or Instagram or Facebook, and you’ll see a thousand posts memorializing his proverb. Listen to Christian talks, sermons, and podcasts, and you will start to think that this little saying is God’s — all that’s missing is chapter and verse. The solution seems plain then: stop doing that. Stop measuring yourself up against others. Stop noticing the discrepancies; it will only lead to misery.

The problem is that we can’t stop comparing. Comparison is a fundamental part of being human, because it’s how we acquaint ourselves with reality. The very first thing Adam did when he saw Eve was to write his own brief compare and contrast essay. “She’s like me! Only different!”

Not only is it impossible to opt out of comparing, but God actually wants us to do it.

Comparing Is Necessary

Comparing is how we discover what holiness is. It’s how we see what is set apart as distinct from us. It’s also how we know what we ought to be like. To abandon comparing is to abandon our understanding of God, and of ourselves. What we need to do is train ourselves how to compare properly, not cut ourselves off from the necessity of comparison.

If we took all the measuring — the comparing and contrasting — out of the Bible, we wouldn’t have much of a book left. God’s laws and instructions fundamentally help us to see what we are and are not, what we should and shouldn’t be. They also help us see how we measure up to others, so that we can either imitate them or do the opposite of them. This is not sin — it is essential to growth, and health, as Christians.

My concern is that, far from letting comparison fuel our growth in godliness, we actually have trained Christians that it’s good to ignore the ways someone else might be doing something well, so that they can spare themselves the discomfort of how they might not measure up. With this logic, bad feelings about my situation or sin problem are the real issue — that’s what must be avoided. When we admonish ourselves or others to stop comparing, we may actually be insulating ourselves from reality.

Of course, we have to evaluate if the comparisons we’re making are real or not. We shouldn’t compare our real life (the house with actual people in it and sticky faces and hair-raising smells) with the fake life of someone we’ve never met on Instagram (the tasteless, odorless, iocane-powder version). That’s a false comparison. Remember, our goal is figuring out what’s real and true, not inoculating ourselves to it through make-believe images.

Make Comparisons Fuel Joy

What if, rather than pretending not to notice that our friend is excelling in homemaking and parenting (while we’re scraping by), we honored her by giving thanks to God for her obedience, her diligence, and her example of Christ that we can follow? What if we started observing her more closely, making more comparisons rather than less, so that we could tease out the principles of godliness present in her life and do likewise?

What if, rather than smugly disdaining the mom who can’t get her act together, we offered her a better way? What if we actually said with Paul, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ,” not because we think we’re better than she is, but because God has really done something profound in us and we’re confident he can do it in her, too (1 Corinthians 11:1)?

Leading our comparisons in the right direction — away from envy, pride, covetousness, and self-pity, and toward Christlike imitation and the fear of God — will turn us into better parents, mentors, and friends.

Parenting Children Through Comparison

Faithful parenting means discipling our children into reality. Many parents balk when their kids make observations about themselves and their siblings like, “I’m not good at school. Eliza’s good at school.” We rush in to say, “Oh no, honey! You are good at school!” But, are they? Does it even matter to us as parents if what they’ve said is accurate or not? It should.

If our child is doing poorly in school and their sibling is doing great, we shouldn’t pretend like that’s not the case. If we do that, we will be training them to ignore what’s real. We will be training them that true speech is too scary or too difficult for us to handle and, therefore, too difficult for them to handle. We will give them the impression that what’s different about them is so scary and hard to deal with that it’s unspeakable. We shove reality out of the picture so that we can coddle them — while really we’re coddling ourselves. We ignore deficiencies as if they were too much to bear.

But what if we acknowledged that what they’re saying is true, at least in part? Their sister is doing well in school and they are struggling. Then, we can shepherd them to give thanks to God for how he’s made their sister, and ask God for the discipline and grace to help them do better. And while they struggle, we can teach them to ask God for the contentment in the areas that are hard for them, and give thanks for the particular strengths he’s given them that are different than how he’s gifted their sibling.

We won’t be able to do any of that if we haven’t asked God for the thick gospel-skin that helps us live in a world of differences and similarities, without making it all about a narcissistic insecurity that someone, somewhere has more than me, or is working harder than me, or is doing better than me. That is a sickly way for Christians to live! In Christ, we have it all — we dare not dishonor him by our self-pity (Romans 8:32).

Differences Are God’s Design

The Bible assumes some will have more faith, and some less. Some will have this gift and another that gift. Some will be rich and some will be poor. Some beautiful, some homely. Some with lovely homes, some with drab. There will be children with disabilities and children without. There are Gentiles and Jews, tribes and tongues, men and women.

The Bible even assumes that some will be more Christlike and mature than others. Noticing these things isn’t a sin, but a gift, and it need not lead to the evaporation of our joy, but can be the water for its growth.

Holy imitation isn’t about cramming ourselves into another’s mold. It’s about recognizing the Christlike principles another has applied to their life and figuring out how to apply them to ours. It’s not about making all of our voices sound the same, but getting us all to learn the same song of the Lamb who was slain. It’s not about making us all identical, but about training all of us, amid our diversity, to walk together in the light of Christ.

Originally written by Abigail Dodds for Desiring God. Used with permission.

Choose Your Battles Biblically

One of the questions I was most frequently asked when my children were young and we were homeschooling was this, “What is the hardest part of doing this, of raising your children and homeschool them?” There were many things that were hard, of course, things like discipline, keeping a sane and orderly routine, being on schedule, trying to figure out the best options for our curriculum, planning each week’s work, etc. But without hesitating I would always answer the same thing: The hardest thing is seeing and dealing with my own sins as I raise my children.

Many times I would get mad because of the glass of spilled milk, or lose my patience after one of my kids would not follow he instructions I gave, or raise my voice when we were running late. But you know what? Most of the times I lost my temper not because I really wanted to teach them a good thing, but because of my own desires were not being fulfilled, because I was discontent, or anxious, or simply “tired.” And that was the true battle that I needed to face each day.

Only when I saw this, I was able to deal with it in a biblical way: repent and believe. And only when I started fighting the right battle, I saw the good fruit of righteousness in my own life and my children’s lives!

You have heard many times that piece of advice that many like to give, “Choose your battles wisely.” Well, if you must choose one battle each day, choose it biblically: Kill the sin in you (Rom. 8:10-17). And how do we do this? By the Word of God! (Ephesians 6:10-20)

So, I encourage you, Friend, if you find yourself in a similar situation than the one I was, ask the Lord to give you eyes to see your own heart in the light of the Scriptures. Come to the Word, read it and let the Word read you. If you are struggling with a short temper, with lack of patience and joy, come to the Lord, not only every day, but very minute of the day. Lay it all before Him, humble yourself before Him, take a deep breath and do the next thing by grace through faith. Killing your our sin is about being obedient. It is about repenting of our own sins and moving on -as quickly as possible- back into the path of obedience. This is certainly the hardest thing we’ll face each day, but certainly the fruit is the sweetest of all.

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky Pliego

Written for Strength & Song by Becky Pliego: wife, mama, and grandma. Find her writings at Daily On My Way to Heaven.