In the Middle of the Weeds

“I picked this for you, Mom,” my 11-year-old said and I stared at her with a look of both confusion over and gratitude for this sweet act of love.

“Thank you! Where did you find such a beautiful flower?” I asked her.

“In our yard!” she replied. “There’s a bunch of them growing by the tree in the backyard.” I looked, and sure enough she was right. A handful of irises growing right by the big tree.

And I’ve been thinking about that ever since, because whenever I’ve thought about our yard, all I’ve seen is the weeds, the patchy grass, the bumpy ground... and all the work that still needs to be done.

But right there, in the middle of all the weeds and mess, were beautiful, breathtaking flowers. And I’d never even SEEN them.

And isn’t that just the truth? That in the midst of the broken mess, when all we can see is weeds, and how much further we have left to go, God can grow flowers where we weren’t even looking? That there’s always something beautiful to be thankful for, if we just look close enough?

I know from experience that isn’t always easy to do, and when you’re IN IT, it’s the last thing you want to hear. What is there to be thankful for when I’m in this excruciating pain?

So I leave you with this, hold on, with whatever shred of faith you have left, that God is growing something beautiful in the middle of your weedy yard. You might not see it yet, but someday, you will.

Originally written and posted by Chelsey Roberts.

Soak Up the Dew

How do you recover after the worst kind of night? The hour after hour of sleep-eluding desperation followed by the morning light creeping in at the edges making you despise the very thing that’s ushering in the new mercies—the dawn.

The only way I know how to survive those sanity-killing nights (like the ones I’ve had lately) is to become a succulent—someone who can live off the dew.

Flood yourself with the scriptures when your brain is coherent and even when it isn’t, so that through the night and in the awful morning, you’ll have a heavy dew of truth to sustain you. Let even the mist and residue of God’s Word feed your soul.

This is warfare. We don’t read the Bible to feel like good Christians or to check it off the list or as a photo op. We do it because it’s our life and water and we don’t want to die of thirst.

There are a million things that you can fill yourself up with that will ultimately starve you. Junky movies, trivial books, shop therapy, shallow friendships, image building. But God’s word makes us impenetrable when we’re hidden in Christ. His holy people are his grace in our lives. So we soak up the dew and lean on his body and live.

Originally shared by Abigail Dodds.

A Wife of Valor

Recently I opened my Bible to Proverbs 31. As a female, this chapter is one very familiar to me. When I was 13 my mom sent me to a weekly Bible study for young ladies. As a tomboy who loved adventure and despised anything pink, a Proverbs 31 study brought to mind a neat orderly row of girls dressed in pink frilly dresses dutifully knitting socks while conversing in low tones. Turns out that picture was actually pretty accurate.

To attend, you had to wear a skirt or dress that was knee-length or longer (no pants or shorts allowed). Each week you had to memorize two verses of Proverbs 31, with the end goal of memorizing the whole chapter. Each week we learned a new skill: embroidery, cooking, sewing a pillowcase, and honestly I don’t remember what else, except that it had to do with becoming the model future wife and mother that Proverbs 31 supposedly dictated all little women should be. All I know is that it was the most boring time of my life (except for the snack break, that was the highlight for sure).

One week, as we sat in our skirts, embroidering roses on handkerchiefs, I mentioned in an exasperated tone how much I despised sewing (after pricking myself for the tenth time with the sewing needle). Fast forward to that afternoon, when my mom received a call from the study leader who basically said your daughter is being a bad example by saying she hates sewing, and we may have to ask her to leave if she doesn’t settle down and conform to the biblical image of femininity that we are trying to instill in these girls.

I admit my attitude was NOT where it should be. The heart behind that group was in the right place, and the leader genuinely cared about each and every student! I will also add that I was probably the only girl who didn’t enjoy everything, the others thought it was loads of fun.

But I have to be honest. That study ruined Proverbs 31 for me for many years. In my mind, that passage meant becoming a stagnant entity whose sole existence was to slave in the house and care for husband and children. The Proverbs 31 woman appeared to me as a passive behind-the-scenes person who didn’t really play an exciting role in the family unit. As a result, that scripture really fell off my radar as the years went by and I became an adult, a wife, and then a mother myself.

Until that day a few weeks ago when I opened up my Bible to that chapter and began to read.

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.

Proverbs 31:10

I checked out the footnotes in my Bible for that verse, and it translated “virtuous wife” as lit. “wife of valor”. Hold up. Valor? I looked up the definition of valor.

Valor: strength of mind or spirit that enables a person to encounter danger with firmness: personal bravery….Great courage in the face of danger, especially battle.

Turns out the word valor comes from the Latin “valorem”, which means “strength, moral worth” with the sense of “courage” added later.

This changed everything for me. I saw Proverbs 31 in a completely different light! The image in my mind of the P31 woman was formerly of a diminutive, forlorn, forgotten individual who rarely thought for herself, deferred to her husband in all things, and modestly remained in the background of life.

Yet what comes to mind when I read, “Wife of valor”? I see a woman who holds down the frontlines at home. I see a woman who courageously fights for her family, who puts their well-being first and protects them no matter what. Who trains up her children to be warriors for Christ. A strong woman who doesn’t fall to pieces when hardships comes upon her family. A wife whose husband trusts and respects and goes to for advice. That is a woman I will gladly aspire to become!

So, I challenge you, weary soul in charge of the daily ins and outs of your household, read Proverbs 31 in a different light. Look for the character of the godly woman it describes, and picture her going about the various tasks of the day with courage, bravery, and strength of mind. God knows full well that being a mother requires those traits just as much as a soldier!

Let’s be a wife of valor most importantly for our husbands. My husband needs a wife who he can trust won’t crumble when the going gets rough. A wife who can be counted on to share the burden of raising a family. A wife he can come home to with anticipation, knowing that she will be there with arms open wide to greet him, no matter how the day went.

The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:11

Learning about the wife of valor will be an ongoing lesson for me, one that humbles and convicts, but one that I am so thankful the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to. May it be an eye-opener for you as well, friend!

Written by Strength & Song Admin, Natalya Brown.

Post-Partum Fear and the Fruit of the Spirit

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”

Galatians 5:16-26

I've had a lot of anxiety recently about transitioning from one to two children. Our miscarriage extended an invitation to really savor all of the extra one-on-one time I would have with our firstborn. While I have so enjoyed my time and adventures with him over the past few "extra" months, I'm incredibly conscious recently of the way that a second child will complicate our relationship logistically and emotionally. I had quite the turbulent entrance into motherhood the first go round. The arrival of our first child shook our marriage in ways I didn't anticipate. Fluctuating hormones, difficult circumstances, unmet expectations, and a lack of sleep revealed things about my heart that were hard to see, and I imagine hard for my husband to live with.

A few weeks ago, as the stomach bug ripped through our house and potty-training added an unexpected emotional riff to my relationship with my two year old, I found myself filled with fear as I thought about what was coming in just a few weeks. What would welcoming a newborn look like with a toddler thrown in to the equation this time?

The vintage Jinny Lind cradle in our room is an ever present reminder of our second son's impending arrival. I find myself filled with both joyful anticipation and anxious dread each time I see it. Above it hang 9 beautifully illustrated floral prints from Ruth Chou Simons bearing the fruit of the spirit. Last night as my eyes drifted up from the wooden cradle to study those petals, I was both convicted and encouraged.

As I anticipate the arrival of another little one, I have been so easily convinced of the fruit of fatigue and post-partum hormones and change: a short temper, depression, anxiety, frustration. But there is so much danger in imagining a future circumstance without considering God's word. There is no telling how the arrival of our second son may parallel or differ from that of our first. I could spend (and have probably already spent) hours dwelling on why this transition might be better or how it may be harder. 

Our marriage is stronger. We are both more experienced parents. I can see tangible ways God has changed me and made me more like Jesus. I know what I'm doing more than the first time. Our community is richer. We have a better idea of what to expect. We got a doula this time.

But our two year old is going to struggle to adjust. I will be jealous watching other people get to play with and enjoy him while I am nursing. I will be exhausted and he will likely be dealing with big emotions and outbursts. He will need to be lifted and hanging on me while I am sore and recovering from childbirth. My hormones may make me depressed or emotionally unavailable.

Any of those things may or may not end up being true. Any scenario I imagine may or may not come to fruition. But what I do know about our quickly approaching post-partum experience is that God's grace will be sufficient. His power will be made perfect in my weakness. He will be an ever present help in my time of need. The spirit will intercede for me with groanings too deep for words when I don't know how to pray or ask for help. And Christ, my great high priest, who is able to sympathize with my weakness, will stand ready to forgive my failings, covering them with grace and somehow still using them for God's glory. These certainties move me from fear to faith. These meditations move my anxious mind away from the fruit of fatigue, hormones, and change onto the fruit of the Spirit. 

Where I fear distance and resentment, He offers Love.

Where I fear baby blues and the dreaded darkness, He offers Joy.

Where I fear the intensity of post partum anxiety and a lack of predictability, He offers his Peace.

Where I fear my short temper and anticipated frustration with my husband and toddler, He offers Patience.

Where I worry about my biting tongue and thoughtlessness, He offers Kindness.

Where I worry about what will be exposed in me when my circumstances reveal my worst, He offers Goodness.

Where I fear my reactivity and tendency to be harsh when tired, He offers Gentleness.

Where I am concerned that I will neglect his word or disciplines, He supplies Faithfulness.

Where I fear reactivity and the reign and power of hormones, He offers Self-Control.

These things are not the result of a good night's sleep, balanced hormones, more reading, or stronger will power. They are the fruit of abiding, of asking in humility, and of trusting my Father to provide more than I allow hormones, fatigue, and pain to control.

The Holy Spirit is stronger than hormones. God's word is more certain than any of my imagined scenarios. And Christ's peace is greater than my fears.

Written and published by Abbey Wedgeworth of Gentle Leading.