Marriage: A Beautiful Gift

There’s a picture frame in my parents’ den, holding a photo of Josh and me at our wedding.  It’s one of my mom’s favorites; us looking back through some daylilies, smiling for the camera.

I sometimes use that frame as a little 5×7 mirror, to see if Levi’s eyes are open or closed as I walk him to sleep.  Yesterday as I walked him I saw his reflection against the photo — the thousandth time, maybe, but this time it looked at little different.

It looked like gratitude, like thanksgiving.  Like the gift Josh is to me, the gift our marriage is.

It’s no small thing, marriage.  It’s the most binding and intimate and holy relationship we can have on this earth; truly it is sacred.  And I’m thankful — to have a friend and partner for everything, to make choices together and live every day together.  The meals and purchases and times of travel, the friends and family; it’s all shared now.  Everything.

There are times I think things might be easier on my own, if I could just forego having to consider someone else’s opinion and only worry about myself.  Yet it’s frequently that other opinion that grows and stretches me, helps me see beyond my box and think of other things.

The best part is that his opinion is one with the same interests in mind as mine.  The way he goes about pursuing those interests looks different than how I would and do pursue them, and many times we’ve had to step back and remind ourselves that we’re fighting for and working toward the same things.

But it’s wonderful.

We’ve grown together, laughed together, experienced so many things together.  Through the good and the bad, marriage is a beautiful gift.

It’s not perfect, but it gets better and better with time as we learn to serve each other and love each other more.  And learn we do, it doesn’t all come naturally; so we pray and continuously ask God to lead us and shape us.  And He does.

Walking in the den and seeing Levi’s little face layered softly on top of our smiles… he’s one of the many blessings that has come from our marriage.  God gives such good gifts.

Written by Amy Parsons.

Everlasting Strength

I'm a planner. I like to know what's coming and when, so I can prepare myself as much as possible.

It worked out, sort of, with my first son, as he was a c-section. It was a last-minute breach that meant I had to throw out my vision for how the birth would go; but it was quick and simple and there he was.

Almost two weeks ago I started pre-labor with my second son, and just when I thought the contractions would warrant a hospital trip they stopped and everything was calm. Day after day after day for a week until finally the pain was so bad I determined to go in and stay till the baby came. He came 8 hours later.

I had texted a friend -- got any Scripture you clung to during your deliveries? She sent back a few, including the one that I latched on to:

"You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
Trust in the Lord forever,
For in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength."
Isaiah 26:3-4

I focused on it; perfect peace, He'd keep me in perfect peace as I trusted Him with all the unknowns. There were so many unknowns.

Our littlest arrived and I thought about the verse again, thankful for the promise of peace.

The days kept coming and going afterward in a blur; I'm still not sure what day today is. Somewhere between chasing an almost-2-year old and power napping through the night with an infant my Bible sat on top of our hutch untouched. I longed to read it but hadn't caught my breath long enough to do so.

All I wanted last night was to climb into bed once the baby was asleep and pass out myself. But wouldn't you know, he wasn't really asleep so up we were to feed again.

I wanted to cry. Overwhelmed and exhausted and trapped being the only one to meet all the needs. I grabbed my Bible anyways and opened it up, right back to Isaiah. This time something else hit me:

"For in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength."

If there's anyone who needs everlasting strength, it's a mom. I need it. And there's only one source for that strength -- our Lord. He alone can provide it, and if we trust in Him to do so He will.

It doesn't mean the needs disappear or even minimize; it doesn't mean we get full nights of sleep or clarity to cook nice meals or time during the day to get all the chores done.

But it does mean that we look back and see that we made it through. We had what we needed when we needed it, and we can trust that record for the moments and days to come.

Take a breath, mamas. Trust in the One who can give you everlasting strength.

Written by Amy Parsons

A Letter to My Husband

You left for work this morning and I know you know – I was mad.

I was mad that we went to bed upset at each other, that we fell asleep without making things right.

I was mad that we’d had another miscommunication over something so simple; it was simple and yet it revealed deeper things. 

I was mad about those deeper things, those things that surface every now and again and I wish they didn’t exist. 

Sometimes I know exactly how to express my thoughts and emotions, to give you an understanding of what’s going on in my head and heart. 

And other times, like now, I have no clue.

It all gets jumbled up in my brain and I can’t tell if I’m frustrated with you or with the fact that the living room is a mess again.  I can’t tell if I’m raising my voice because I don’t think you’re hearing me – or if it’s because I’m tired of everyone else’s noise.

Staying home with our babies is hard.  I know you know that.  I know you care.  I know you go to work and you do your best and you even go above and beyond. 

And I know that even when we each give all of ourselves every day, we still have things to work on.  We still have things that drive us apart and cause tension.

I hate that, babe.  I hate that we put so much effort into work and kids and everything else – and then we crumble and ugly comes out. 

But thank you for being my safe place to crumble.  You imitate your Heavenly Father in that, and I’m so thankful.  You take my ugly and you still love me.

We still have things to talk about.  It might take a little while, and it might be 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there.  But let’s keep trying, even when we’re mad.  Let’s actually take a deep breath and think about where each other is coming from.  Let’s say we’re sorry.  I’m sorry, babe.

I love you.

Written by Amy Parsons.

Note: I originally wrote this for my husband, but with his permission I've shared in hopes of encouraging other moms & wives to keep pressing in and putting effort into their marriage.  It's hard work but it's worth it.