A Letter to My Husband

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You left for work this morning and I know you know – I was mad.

I was mad that we went to bed upset at each other, that we fell asleep without making things right.

I was mad that we’d had another miscommunication over something so simple; it was simple and yet it revealed deeper things. 

I was mad about those deeper things, those things that surface every now and again and I wish they didn’t exist. 

Sometimes I know exactly how to express my thoughts and emotions, to give you an understanding of what’s going on in my head and heart. 

And other times, like now, I have no clue.

It all gets jumbled up in my brain and I can’t tell if I’m frustrated with you or with the fact that the living room is a mess again.  I can’t tell if I’m raising my voice because I don’t think you’re hearing me – or if it’s because I’m tired of everyone else’s noise.

Staying home with our babies is hard.  I know you know that.  I know you care.  I know you go to work and you do your best and you even go above and beyond. 

And I know that even when we each give all of ourselves every day, we still have things to work on.  We still have things that drive us apart and cause tension.

I hate that, babe.  I hate that we put so much effort into work and kids and everything else – and then we crumble and ugly comes out. 

But thank you for being my safe place to crumble.  You imitate your Heavenly Father in that, and I’m so thankful.  You take my ugly and you still love me.

We still have things to talk about.  It might take a little while, and it might be 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there.  But let’s keep trying, even when we’re mad.  Let’s actually take a deep breath and think about where each other is coming from.  Let’s say we’re sorry.  I’m sorry, babe.

I love you.

 

Written by Amy Parsons.

Note: I originally wrote this for my husband, but with his permission I've shared in hopes of encouraging other moms & wives to keep pressing in and putting effort into their marriage.  It's hard work but it's worth it.

 

Amy Parsons