Wise Children

Recently I read a popular book that’s been pretty controversial. As I read through it I found some good points and thoughts from the author, as well as many statements that didn’t align with Scripture. In fact, there were quite a few things the author claimed as truth that simply aren’t.

But the book is well-written, and some false statements are close enough to being correct that they sound good. It got me thinking about how my kids will process the information they read and hear.

How will they know what’s accurate and what’s not? How will they avoid lies and things that will lead them in the wrong direction?

Many times parents and other well-meaning adults try to control every aspect of a child’s life. We try to shelter our kids from bad things, from lies, from things that will lead them astray. Certainly there is wisdom in that to some degree, but there also can be danger in trying to control so much.

Though my kids are young and I don’t have the experience of others, I have seen a method that works and is Biblical. Instead of trying to oversee everything related to your children, give them the tools to do it themselves. To weigh pros and cons, to determine whether something is right or wrong, to ask questions and come to reasonable conclusions.

We can teach our children how to figure things out for themselves. It may sound tedious, and I’m sure at times it is -- but their foundation on the Word of God is essential. They need to know His Word just as we do.

In our own lives, we strive to learn and grow in Christ, do we not? How do we do that apart from knowing Him through Scripture? (Answer: we don’t.)

So just as we learn how to navigate life and obstacles through God’s Word, we ought to do the same with our kids. Teach them Scripture, and teach them what the verses mean. Have them memorize it and hide it in their hearts, so that they can refer to it and understand the depth of its meaning over time. I am a testimony to this; I memorized Scripture in kindergarten that has stuck with me since, and over the years I have learned more about what those passages mean. Just because they don’t understand it at age 4 doesn’t mean it’s not worth memorizing.

When your kids have questions about things from their day, things they read or hear or see, enter into their world. Talk about it. Work it through with them. Help them get from A to B mentally, but don’t do it all for them. If you can be the assistant while they learn the decision-making and how to implement wisdom, they will be equipped to do it on their own later.

I don’t know about you, but having children who are capable of keeping a solid head on their shoulders and the Lord as the leader of their steps sounds like an incredible gift. Ask the Lord for wisdom and guidance to teach your kids, and be diligent to do the work. The outcome isn’t guaranteed, but ladies, as Christians we have the responsibility of raising our children in the way of the Lord. It’s never too early to be serious about doing so!

Written by Amy Parsons.

Irrevocable Trust

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.”

Psalm 56:3

My father stood across the living room in his purple, cotton shirt. The ceiling of the Quonset hut curved behind his wavy, black hair. His bleary eyes stared at my mother who was dark with anger. Sitting upright on the Naugahyde couch, she cradled my sister and me on either side of her. I could feel her thin build stiffen next to me as she narrowed her eyes. There was vomit on the green, shag carpet from a guest who had passed out – the catalyst of the argument. Earlier that evening, the house was full of laughter as colorful people drank and talked in our living room. Cigarette smoke swirled overhead while ice clinked in glasses and the reel-to-reel boomed songs by Sinatra and Martin. I was young. Four or five. Alcoholism was not in my vocabulary.

“We’re leaving!” my mother announced as she ushered us into the bedroom.

My sister was older by two-and-a-half years. Her taller frame stood next to mine on the bed as my mother briskly tied our puffy kimono-like robes around our thin, tan frames. My mother’s short, black hair did not move. Everything about her was efficient, clean, crisp. She was an R.N. and worked in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) on base.

“You’re not leaving! I won’t let you!” my father said as he entered our bedroom. The gun was obvious, but my mother didn’t flinch.

I loved my father. When he was sober and wearing his Air Force blues he seemed safe. But, I couldn’t trust him. He was unpredictable. Scary. In my heart that night I vowed that I would never trust a man.

“Go ahead. Shoot us!” my mother blurted as she scooped us up and walked briskly outside before plopping us in the car. We drove away to the sound of locusts screaming in the trees.

For many years this event, and others like it, colored my relationships, even my relationship with God. To cope with the instability I withdrew, surviving through a world of fantasy. Fear defined my inner life. Fortunately, many years later, God revealed the vow I made as a little girl, “I will never trust a man.” This vow was like a seed that germinated behaviors like self-protection and distrust, enabling me to shut myself – my real self – off from the world. But, God rescued me at the age of twenty-eight and brought me into a love relationship with Him that forced me to question my normal. Intimate relationships were terrifying, painful and not worth the effort. Eventually, through prayer and counseling, God revealed several deep-rooted lies that had been hiding in my heart for years. The lies, like weeds, choked out the roses of security, love, patience and trust that God longed for me to experience. He spoke these tender words to me from Isaiah 43:1-3…

“But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.’”  

An unstable childhood is a reality for many of us. Like me, you may have struggled with reconciling the truth of your past with God’s character. When I was a young believer God’s personality was morphed together with my father’s. It was a distortion; a Holy God I couldn’t trust. A God that may not be there when I need Him most. A God who loved me but wasn’t always delighted in me. A God who would abandon me…someday, just like my father. It took many years for me to see how I was dishonoring God with these lies. Fear and anxiety took over as I tried to protect myself and failed. The pain crept in and I felt…abandoned. Forsaken. Betrayed. In a pit of self-pity God showed me my sin saying, “I am not a man that I should lie. I am not your father.”

He is not my earthly father. He is trustworthy and always patient. He will not love me one minute and dismiss the next. He will not abandon me. He is Love. I can trust Him…irrevocably. It has taken many years of walking with God to come to a place of owning these truths. I still struggle with trusting men in general and have lapses where I forget I have a Godly husband who loves me. The trust struggle also continues with God as I recognize the familiar feelings of fear and anxiety in situations where I feel helpless. However, I have learned to accept these moments as gifts of reflection. No one likes to have their faults exposed (ouch) but God gives us the gift of a holy mirror, allowing us to see the smudges of sin on our faces. Only then will we allow Him to gently wipe them clean with His blood.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths

for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.”

Psalm 23:1-6, NIV

Originally written by Marlene McKenna for havhope.

Women, We Need His Word: A Plan for the Hungry and Busy

The idea was so simple it almost doesn’t count as one. Let’s eat God’s word. Together. At a fast but reasonable pace. Let’s encourage one another to get over whatever obstacles stopped us in the past. We want to become women of his word, not women who dabble in it occasionally.

Last fall, we settled on a pace of six chapters a day — some Old Testament and some New Testament, pairing books like Leviticus and Hebrews together, and matching psalms we could to the historic context in which they were written. We wrote catch-up days into the plan (because we have regular lives with regular interruptions). We would get through the whole Bible in the academic year with around 20–30 minutes of reading each day and none on Sundays.

We prayed that God would use our plan to ignite a love of his word in other women too. The project has grown beyond all of our ideas — spreading quickly far beyond our own community and even into other languages. Thousands of women have joined in over the last year. We like to say we are a theologically diverse group, but literally on the same page.

Time to Eat

We need God’s word more than we need food. We are strengthened by it. We are equipped for every good work through it. We can trust that where God sends out his word in our lives, it will not return to him void. It will accomplish the thing for which he sent it.

We’ve simply come to feast. We have all been invited. There is a place prepared by a loving Father for each of us. The food is abundant, endless, nourishing, restoring, perfect, and occasionally confusing. The task is simple. Eat it. Be filled. Do it again. Do it forever. Enjoy the bounty before you — enjoy what your Father has done for you and said to you. Trust the Master of this feast, and enjoy the table fellowship.

But many of us are not in our chairs. We’re under the tables, scavenging for crumbs dropped by the “good eaters” at the table — famous bloggers, Christian teachers, great preachers. We can find enough crumbs at their feet to survive, maybe even live well, but we wouldn’t be obeying God. There is a place with your name on it, a book for you to eat. Get up and eat. Do not be satisfied with crumbs, because your Father is not satisfied with that for you.

Why We Don’t Read

Many Christians are not eating at all. They are busy. They don’t have a quiet life. Often they are not eating simply because they are on a streak of not eating and breaking it seems hypocritical. I cannot eat dinner when I did not have breakfast or lunch! Many Christians quit reading their Bible when they feel like they have failed in some way.

Lost track, fell behind in a plan, didn’t understand, not good enough, forgot. Better wait for a new year, and try to be a better person then. Whatever reason you have, it isn’t good enough. Lay down your pride, and take up your fork. This is the continuing feast. The feast you should never leave, and that is yours to enjoy forever. You are never behind if you are eating today.

Others think you have not taken a bite unless you understand everything about it. As though the word of God is only powerful when we have weighed and measured it, attempted to label all the ingredients, taken voluminous notes, and gone to several lectures about it. We don’t approach this meal that way. There is a time for food science, but it is not at the dinner party. This is our time to simply eat.

Still others have been persuaded that the only way to eat is first thing in the morning in silence. They will not eat unless conditions are perfect, and conditions in this life are rarely perfect. But we always need to eat. We need to learn to take bites with crazy background noise, a squirming baby on our lap, and raucous laughter at the table.

Learn to Eat

It isn’t complicated, but it can be hard. We all face resistance from three directions. The world distracts, the flesh is weak, and the devil accuses. “Do anything but eat!” says the world. “Do something easier! Try Netflix!” says the flesh. “You aren’t good enough anyways and will never succeed! Just remember last time you tried,” says the devil.

Your answer to all three should simply be, “Watch me eat.” We are a scrappy group. We listen on our phones, jump in on the current day’s reading when we get behind, read while standing at the stove making dinner or while nursing babies. We encourage one another to confess sin but despise lingering guilt. When we don’t understand what we read, we do not worry about it — we will be back soon.

The Bible Reading Challenge is a movement of thousands of hungry women enjoying God’s word together. The challenge begins tomorrow, September 11, and runs through the school year. If you are ready to eat, you can learn more information or download the reading plan.

What we are becoming through the grace of God is an enormous party. Women laughing together, eating together, rejoicing in our God together. Cheering when our favorite courses come in again, and rejoicing with one another as we see the results of this perfect food in our lives. This past year we celebrated with many women as they read their whole Bible for the first time, some of them thirty or forty years into their Christian walk. It was time to learn to eat.

Is it your time to learn? Whatever strategy or plan you choose, find a couple women and decide together that you will refuse not to read the Bible this year.

Originally written by wife and mom of seven, Rachel Jankovic, for Desiring God. Used with permission.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Class that day began so peacefully.

My university professor began the Christian Love and Marriage class with a “fun little assignment to get the creative juices flowing.”

The task was simple: Draw what you think of when you envision the love of God.

She went around and handed out crayons and blank sheets of paper for our project. We had fifteen minutes.

The first five I just sat there. How could I, who could barely draw straight lines for stickmen, draw the love of God?

As my peers joyfully scribbled away, I grabbed the black crayon. I still recall those next ten minutes of worship.

The alarm rang — time for show and tell. Each of us went around and shared our drawings, explaining why we drew what we did.

The first student unveiled her picture: a collage of lipstick red hearts, shiny bubbles, and a dozen or so smiley faces.

The second student revealed a unicorn galloping over a rainbow.

The third, a meadow with the sun shining down on laughing butterflies.

The fourth, a worn-out teddy bear.

As each explained their picture, one thing became obvious: despite my previous assumption, none was joking. All artists took their work seriously.

“God’s love makes me feel a kind of warmth inside,” explained one girl.

“Yeah, his love is magical, like the best dream you don’t want to wake up from,” added another.

“I just see a big bouquet of butterflies when I think about how God loves all of us.”

“I just feel a sense of home with God’s love, like I do when I remember my childhood teddy bear.”

I revealed my picture. My classmates were first shocked. Then confused. Then disgusted.

“That’s pretty barbaric of you,” said the first.

“I don’t think such a gory event should depict God’s love,” contributed the second.

“This is why some people don’t want to explore Christianity,” scolded the third.

In my drawing, a hill quaked. Lightning flashed. Darkness enveloped. Two dark crosses backdropped the third. My sore hand held up my nearly torn through artwork depicting my Savior dying on the cross for my sins.

“I believe this to be God’s own picture of his love,” I said.

God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

 

Fact or Feeling?

Notice what happened: When prompted to draw what each envisioned as the love of God, each drew what they felt when considering the love of God.

Instead of looking without themselves, they gazed within. The objective reality of God’s love for sinners was evidenced for them — not in the crushing and torture of the Son of God two thousand years ago — but was displayed in the fluttering sensations in their own hearts. How did they know God loved them? Their feelings told them so.

And their inners did not tell them of the fierce love of God demonstrated in the Son of God being brutally executed as he bore the wrath of God on sinners’ behalf. The fallen human heart is too politically correct, too Hallmark, too civilized to mention that God so loved the world that he sent his only Son to be brutally murdered for it.

When God showed his love for sinners, it was rated R.

 

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

If handed a box of crayons and a paper, I would be surprised if many would draw what my nominally Catholic peers did. But I too often share their disposition to look within instead of without to see whether God truly loves me from day to day.

• I felt like I counted my family’s interests above my own today: He loves me.

• I didn’t experience much joy in the word the past few mornings: He loves me not.

• I am happy because I finally shared the gospel with my coworker: He loves me.

• I was incredibly angry in my heart towards my spouse last night: He loves me not.

• My heart overflowed today in corporate worship: He loves me.

• I didn’t feel any warm sensations of his presence during prayer: He loves me not.

This life is utterly exhausting. It may not be legalism, but feelism is just as tyrannical.

Although it is true that if we have absolutely no subjective experience of God’s love ever, we most likely are not a child of God (Romans 5:5; 8:16). But we must not confuse faith’s gaze from the cross to our feelings. The Spirit in Romans 5:5 directs our gaze to the cross in Romans 5:6.

 

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know

The gospel has a far better word for us than our fickle feelings:

• The Father sent his only Son into the world so that I might not die in my sins (John 3:16): He loves me.

• That Son emptied himself and took on human form to rescue his people (Philippians 2:6–7): He loves me.

• Jesus Christ loved his Father and perfectly obeyed on my behalf, even unto death on a cross (Philippians 2:8–11): He loves me.

• Jesus stepped forward in Gethsemane (John 18:4), bowing his knee to his Father’s will (Matthew 26:42): He loves me.

• He was beaten as to be unrecognizable (Isaiah 52:14). He was whipped, scourged, spit on, mocked, slapped, bloodied, beaten, shamed: He loves me.

• The Father crushed his own Son (Isaiah 53:10). He gave him the cup of wrath bearing my name (John 18:11). God did not spare his own Son (Romans 8:32): He loves me.

• The Light of the world was snuffed; the Bread of life, broken; the King of kings, executed; the Lamb of God, slain; the Son of Man, tortured; the Son of God, forsaken; the Rock of ages, stricken; the blood of Christ, shed: Oh, how he loves me.

• And the Father raised the Son from the dead. The Son reigns over the universe as my great Prophet, Priest, and King. The Spirit has made me new, is sustaining repentance and faith, and has sealed me for the day of Christ. He loves me.

• Jesus, our life, is coming back. He will marry us. He will take us into his kingdom to reign with him. The time hastens on. He loves us.

As Christians, we no longer look to the drooping flower of our own love for God, peeling away petal by petal, muttering frantically to ourselves: He loves me, he loves me not.

Instead, we sing,

When Satan tempts us to despair,
Reminding of the lack within,
Upwards we look and see him there,
Who proved his love by conquering sin.

We spend our lives looking outside of ourselves to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:1–2), who has proven God’s love once and for all, and will amaze his people afresh with that love forever.

Originally written by Greg Morse for Desiring God. Used with permission.