I Couldn’t Possibly Wash My Face Enough Anyway

There are some popular beliefs floating around trying to convince us that we are enough… That we can do anything…That God wants us to have everything… We are strong enough for anything…

I would like to disagree.

While these statements aren’t inherently false, if we leave them as is, they become lies we speak over ourselves. I am not sure where this twisting words happened (probably with the serpent in the Garden of Eden), but someone took some truth and added or took away a little something to put the power back in our hands. I don’t know about you, but I know me down deep, and I know I am none of those glamorous things on my own. I know how quickly my faith turns to disbelief, and I’ve seen how easily I tank even after a seemingly solid landing. I hear my inner dialogue, and it’s not always pretty. Not even close.

So, in case you’re more like me and less like the, “I am woman, hear me roar without saying much,” variety, let me finish these incomplete sentences for you.

• We are enough because Jesus gave everything to cover our sins.

• We can do anything God desires of us as we seek him and obey his commands. In his strength.

• God wants us to have everything according to his will. According to the life he has planned for us: a life of abundance in him.

• We are strong enough because Christ lives in us.

We are getting it very wrong when we leave these sentences unfinished because we make them pretend instead of truths. If we are all of these things, why did Jesus have to die?

We can pretend our roar is strong enough to fight our battles, but being loud isn’t the same as being mighty. Remember when Job went to God and questioned everything God was allowing to happen in his life? God’s response was something like, “Job, you have a lot of questions about how I am running things, but now it’s my turn to ask you some questions. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? You think you are so full of knowledge and have some legs to stand on? Where were you when the stars were placed so perfectly in the sky? Can you make them sing? No? Too soon? Having regrets about this line of questioning?”

Maybe God isn’t as snarky as when I interpret him, but his point is very clear. We are made for his purposes, not the other way around. God has always been God and will always be God. That didn’t become truth when we decided to believe in him. We have nothing to bring him. And he wants us anyway. What a beautiful gift. It’s sort of like when we let a toddler help us put away dishes. We know it might take longer or be less efficient, but the joy that toddler gets from being in on the ordeal makes us happy too.

It’s time for us to stop stealing his thunder (which he also made) and twisting his words. It’s not about doing things in my own strength or fixing myself. It isn’t about washing my face because it’s my mind that needs renewing. And I can’t even do that on my own!

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land.” Heal our land, Lord. And start with our words. Amen.

Written for Strength & Song by Shontell Brewer.

Word Problems - Three Reasons to Talk Less

When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,
But he who restrains his lips is wise.
—Proverbs 10:19 NASB

I definitely have word problems. You see, I’m full of them, words that is, ready to chatter and share those words plentifully with anyone in hearing distance. Always have been. As if speaking lots of words during the day wasn’t enough, I also talk in my sleep. Have since childhood. When I went to Pioneer Girl camp as a child, I was horrified to learn that the other girls in my cabin secretly stayed awake to be entertained by my nightly sleep talk. Evidently, despite my best efforts, I still have words left over at the end of the day. Yikes. What’s a person to do when words overflow in them? Let’s start with what they should not do.

Proverbs 10:19 warns us that “when there are many words, transgression is unavoidable” (NASB). That’s a sobering thought. When someone goes on and on and on … sin occurs. Here are some guidelines that might have been learned by *ahem* personal experience.

Do not be a conversation thief. When someone speaks on and on, they wrong others by not listening. They’ve stolen all the airtime. We do not need to fill up every quiet space with our own noise. Sometimes quieter folks take longer to formulate a thought. When we give them no space to share, we injure them. We also lose out on valuable opportunities to hear their thoughts and perspectives.

Do not use those words for tirades or lectures. Too many words often mean that people tune us out. Who wants to hear a ten-minute lecture on why they are wrong? Even if they are children and we are the parent. I spoke too long and too often to my children during their growing up years. I wish I had said what was most important and then been still, giving them time to digest my words. I suspect that much of the time my talking went in one ear and out the other. In the case of correction, less is more. (And that is definitely true in marriage as well.)

Do not speak carelessly. When we simply allow every crazy thought in our head to escape through our lips, we risk hurting people. Ephesians 4:29 cautions us: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV). That’s the essential test and the filter through which we allow words to enter the atmosphere. Are my words helpful? Will they build others up according to their needs? Will they benefit those who are listening? Those are words worth sharing.

Oh, how hard it is to tame the tongue! Oh, but, when I choose to listen, when I speak words that are helpful and kind, when I know the time to bite my tongue and forbid it to speak … then I am using words correctly. And what to do with all those extra words? Blog, of course, and muse on them in your own mind!

Heavenly Father, please help my words to be thoughtful and kind. Remind me when I have said enough, and teach me to show restraint. I want my words to build others up and benefit them, Lord. And I want to hear others’ thoughts and musings as well. Help me to continue to grow in this area. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Originally written by Sharon Gamble of Sweet Selah Ministries. Used with permission.

Fear, My News Feed, and Psalm 46

Anyone else feeling prone to panic these days? I watched CCN 10 (a 10-minute global news show for students) with my daughters this morning and it had my stomach in knots. The photos from the earthquake in Mexico were heart wrenching. The impending doom for Puerto Rico from Hurricane Maria was sickening. And the update on threats coming from Kim Jong-Un in North Korea was downright scary.  

These calamities and potential catastrophes feel close. I’m traveling to South America via Mexico this fall and the earthquake tempts me to consider staying home instead. I’ve been in enough earthquakes in Japan to feel paralyzed by the thought of going through more. And North Korea’s threat of an electromagnetic attack by detonating a nuclear bomb almost directly above Colorado has me feeling very vulnerable in the middle of this continent. Our planet’s current natural disasters and political unrest are almost too much. 

I am so thankful the girls and I memorized Psalm 46 last week. I can’t encourage you enough to do the same. Right now I need the power of God’s words in this Psalm to re-center me in the face of fear. Without the constant reminders of his power and protection, readily available in my stream of consciousness, I would be tempted to despair.  

And not only that, but my kids are looking to me for how they should respond to the news, as well. Their eyes go from the screen to my face and back with each story. They want to see how I’m processing what I’m seeing—how I handle it. I need to be ready to respond with the Word of God for their sakes and mine. Neither their hope nor mine will be satisfied in geography, or diplomacy, or statistics. I want our hope, our refuge, our strength to be in God alone. 

As we pour over Psalm 46 we can see Mexico in verse 2. We can see Puerto Rico in verse 3. We can see North Korea in verse 6. And we can see the Lord our God in verses 7-11. We can turn our sights on history and “behold the works of the Lord.”  We can remind ourselves with each news reel that when the Lord “utters his voice, the earth melts.” 

No matter what comes, our God will be exalted in the nations. He is over all the Earth. And we have the City of God (verse 4) to look forward to! This world is not the end of the story. Come what may, we Christians will indeed join the Most High in his holy habitation.  

Like Peter instructed the early church, I want to “set [my] hope fully on the grace that will be brought to [us] at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:13).  Jesus and his grace are my only hope. I want to tuck reminders of that hope in my mind and heart and freely transfer them to my daughters in times of uncertainty.  

Psalm 46

1 God is our refuge and strength,

    a very present help in trouble.

2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,

    though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam,

    though the mountains tremble at its swelling. 

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

    the holy habitation of the Most High.

5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;

    God will help her when morning dawns.

6 The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;

    he utters his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord of hosts is with us;

    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come, behold the works of the Lord,

    how he has brought desolations on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;

    he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

    he burns the chariots with fire.

10 “Be still, and know that I am God.

    I will be exalted among the nations,

    I will be exalted in the earth!”

11 The Lord of hosts is with us;

    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

You may enjoy meditating on this Psalm through song, as well. The famous hymn “A Mighty Fortress is our God” was written by Martin Luther in the 1500s and is based on the words of Psalm 46. With the 500th anniversary of the Reformation upon us next month, it would be a timely and life-giving anthem to have at the ready. Here is a helpful history of the hymn from Tim Challies and my favorite rendition of it by HeartSong at Cedarville University. 

Originally written and published by Jen Oshman. Used with permission.

Remembering and Recommitting to Our Parenting Manifesto

“Ok, Dad, we have to run. Do you want to come with the baby to the NICU?”

Not exactly the words a mother wants to hear the very second she pushes her child out. But that’s what our neonatal doctor said to my husband when Abby Grace entered the world 12 years ago. During labor my obstetrician asked us, “Have you ever been told about her erratic heartbeat?” That was the first indication that something was wrong.    

After she entered the world her heart went from beating so fast they were afraid she’d have a heart attack to so slow they worried it would stop. I vividly remember a team of NICU doctors and nurses dressed in magenta scrubs racing my newborn baby down the corridors in the old military hospital where she was born in Okinawa, Japan. 

As soon as I was allowed, I was wheeled from the labor and delivery room to the NICU.  Abby Grace was resting inside a warm, glass dome, connected to a tangle of wires and tubes. While myriad machines beeped around her I looked in and found her eyes wide open. She looked back at me. I cooed and cried and she stared. I prayed to God, “Lord, do not let me fall asleep. Please keep my eyes wide open. If this night is the only one she is going to live, please don’t let me miss even one second of it.” 

Every year on and around her birthday, Mark and I recount all the drama of Abby Grace’s delivery and the weeks that followed. We often tear up when we think about how precarious her life seemed in those first days. We laugh when we remember how her two-year-old sister donned a face mask and met her for the first time. We wipe our tears when we think about how her heart finally steadied four weeks after she was born. You’d never know it now.

Kids’ birthdays are poignant times to reflect on what the Lord has done in their lives and in ours, through them. I think it’s universal for parents to remember their babies’ births and to dream about what’s to come.  Our kids are all in double digits now, with our youngest having recently turned ten. We’ve exited the stage of babies and toddlers and littles and we’re in the throes of shaping teens and pre-teens, praying that God allows us to launch them according to his good will for their lives. 

As such, Mark and I are reviewing the Oshman Parenting Manifesto, which we brainstormed together and he wrote out a few years back. The Manifesto is our commitment to remembering what matters in parenting. We find that so many things in the world aim to capture the hearts of our children and their futures, as well as our efforts as parents. Our goals and desires for our kids can shift with each cultural wind, if we’re not committed to what really matters. 

I want to share our Manifesto here, in hopes that it will encourage you as you pursue what’s best for your kids. We owe this to the Word of God and the people of God—both have shaped us and mentored us in our role as mom and dad these last 14 years. We are immeasurably grateful for the parents who have gone before us and discipled us along the way! 

Oshman Parenting Manifesto

We believe Jesus is the most valuable treasure in the universe.

1. The surpassing worth of Jesus is reason to give our lives to the pursuit of Him (Philippians 3:14; Hebrews 12:2). 

2. All of life is about Jesus, from Jesus, through Jesus and to Jesus (Colossians 1:16-17; Romans 11:36).

3. Without knowing, worshipping, loving, and pursuing Jesus, life is meaningless (Matthew 7:21-23).

4. As your parents, God has entrusted us to disciple you and point you toward him (Proverbs 22:6).

Our goal as your parents: To provide opportunity and encouragement for you to know, love, worship, and pursue Jesus. 

Our goal as your parents IS NOT...

1. That you would get a good job and make a lot of money.

2. That you would get a great education.

3. That you would be really successful in the world’s eyes.

4. That you would have all the great stuff of life and Jesus too. 

5. That you would have a great husband, kids, and family. 

6. That life would go smoothly for you or that you would be “happy.”

Our goal as your parents is...

1. That no matter what you do, you do it in pursuit of Jesus.

2. If you want to become a doctor, great! - How will that pursuit lead you to a greater experience of Jesus? If you want to wash dishes, great! How will that pursuit lead you to a greater experience of Jesus?

3. If you want to become a lawyer, or chef, or missionary, mother, etc... how will you make Jesus the center of all of those activities?

How we will pursue this goal:

• By providing a home where exercising our faith, prayer, worship, study of God’s Word, repentance, and reconciliation are normal activities for us individually and together.

• By continually asking you important questions... like:

1. How will certain decisions affect your spiritual life?

2. Who are you going to surround yourself with and how will you affect them and they affect you spiritually?

3. What does/will worship in that situation/calling/school look like for you?

4. How are you using your time, talent, and treasure to magnify Christ? 

5. What ways are you currently pursuing Christ?

6. How does the gospel affect the decision you will make...?

7. How are you/will you be an active participant in the body of Christ?

8. What struggles are you currently facing? How can we pray for you in those struggles?  Is there anything we can do to help?

“What if I don’t want to follow Jesus?”

1. We will continue to love you, pray for you, and encourage you toward Christ. 

2. We will not do anything that we feel will contribute to a lifestyle that rejects God.

3. As you become adults, you will have to make adult decisions.

4. We will not enable you to sin or live a life that rejects God’s good will for your life.

Originally written and published by Jen Oshman. Used with permission.