Choosing Joy

I love my silly girl.

She has such a funny side to her, and never shies away from trying to make me laugh.

And sometimes, I really, really need to laugh.

Like today. Today was the kind of day I experience every so often, especially right before a surgery or development evaluation. The kind of day when I look at my sweet daughter, and just want to weep.

Weep for what is ahead, because she has no idea how hard it will be. Weep for what has been lost, though she’ll never know what exactly it was. Weep for all the hard work she has done, only to experience gut-wrenching regression. Weep for what will never be.

Will she wear that white wedding gown, or hold suckling babies to her chest? Will she ever walk, or talk, or drink? Will she ever be able to forgive me for putting her through surgery after surgery and therapies upon therapies? When I tell her she can’t play with the other kids or participate the way she wants, will she hate me for it?

But oh, she loves. I don’t think she can hate. Even the things that are hard or frustrate her... she comes through smiling - through tears, but still smiling. And I have to remind myself of this very wonderful fact about Elyse: she comes through with joy. One moment she could be beside herself, in pain or just unhappy with what she is being made to do.... but give her time, and she forgets, moves on, and can be seen and heard gloriously laughing! That cheesy grin always appears after tears. Always.

I have to believe this for her as she grows up and becomes more aware of her reality. When distraction isn’t so easy, and smiles are more of a choice than a feeling. I wish it could stay as simple as it is now.

But for tonight, I choose joy. I choose to believe God has a greater purpose in all of this. I choose to see the good. I choose to be happy. I choose to let every trial and every setback bring me closer to His heart. And when I consciously make this choice, the smile surely follows. Not because my situation has changed (sometimes, it actually grows worse) but because I have His presence, His comfort and His peace that passes all understanding. God alone makes sense of the senseless.

This is my prayer for Elyse Joy. Baby girl, if you read this one day, I want you to know that happiness isn’t to be found in being anyone other than who God wants you to be. And more than anything else, God wants you to be HIS. If you are God’s, sweet girl, known and loved by Him, that’s all that matters! May His love and ownership always bring a smile to your dear, sweet face.

“And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.” John 16:22

Keep smiling, friends!

Originally written and posted on Facebook by Katie Millen, mama of three beautiful children, one with special needs.

Invest in the Mess

Recently, my 20 month old son Moses learned the word “messy”. After spreading food all over his hair/face/chest/high chair, he will look up at me with a concerned expression and say, “Uh oh, messy!”

The fact that he says, “Uh oh!” before the “messy” is something he has learned from me. In my opinion, messes are an uh oh. I do not appreciate mess. I do not enjoy cleaning up messes. As a mom of two little boys under age two, I feel perpetually surrounded by MESS.

After months of frustration and discouragement at my inability to contain the chaos of life with little ones (and two big dogs who delight in shedding hair everywhere), the Lord sat me down for a little chat.

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.

Luke 10:41-42

Not only had my obsession with keeping my home in perfect order taken my joy, it had interfered with my goal of spending quality time with the Lord, digging in to His Word and coming before Him in prayer while my kids napped. As soon as they hit the sack I would immediately rush to get the dishes done, the clothes put away, the toys back in their place. Only after everything was in order would I sit down with my Bible…and nine times out of ten I would have 5 minutes before the first kid would wake up and the crazy start all over again.

Please note the incredible mess in the background of this pic.

I found myself resenting my precious little guy whose goal was not to maliciously ruin Mommy’s day by doing what little ones do best and leaving a mess wherever he toddled. I found myself nagging and nit picking my husband every time he would leave something on the counter or the floor. I found myself jealously comparing myself to the other moms who seemed to have immaculate homes and perfectly clean children who delightfully started cleaning up after themselves at six months of age.

I came to the realization that I need to embrace this season of mess, for my own sanity’s sake and also for the well-being of my family, but ultimately for the glory of God. This is the season He has placed me in. My toddler is learning and growing and developing, and that means spilling and smearing and leaving a disaster in his wake more often than not. Of course, I shouldnt let my home fall into a perpetual state of squalor, that’s not God-honoring at all. But exhausting all my energy and joy in trying to rid myself of the inevitable messiness of life that accompanies two little boys under two robs me of the pleasure of enjoying my precious family and investing in these fleeting moments of childhood and parenthood.

My husband is my example of investing time in what truly matters.

So. I’m going to stop freaking out when my clean living room turns into a train wreck in .5 seconds after Mosha wakes up from nap. I’m going to stop apologizing all over the place in embarrassment when the handyman comes in and has to step over mega blocks and a pile of goldfish to get to the water heater closet. I’m going to stop being a Martha who is “worried and troubled about many things”. I’m going to stop envying other moms and their seemingly perfect homes (and kids and makeup and hair and lives).

I’m going to glory in the season God has given me. I’m going to marvel at the milestones my little Moses and Thadeus hit. I’m going to thank my God for the gift of children and a legacy and all that entails. I’m going to follow Mary’s example and put my time with the Lord FIRST and trust that He will honor that and give me opportunity to complete my to-do list after. I’m going to put down the laundry and leave the half-cleaned kitchen and spend the remainder of my evening with my husband after the kids have gone to bed, investing in our marriage and having face-to-face time with him. The unfinished chores will be there tomorrow, guaranteed. The precious moments with my family are not so guaranteed.

I’ll leave you with this image of Mosha after he flung chocolate milk all over himself and our car, leaving a sour milk smell that lasted for weeks.

Written by Natalya Brown.

Slow Down, Weary Mom

I heard him cry in the monitor.

Seriously? I thought. Three straight nights of post-bedtime tears. I was so over it.

Walking up the stairs, I devised a scheme to get me out of his room as quickly as possible. But as my feet hit the hallway leading into his bedroom, I felt God’s gentle nudge.

Slow down. He needs lullabies of grace tonight.

I took a deep breath of faith, and for the next forty minutes, I sang my scared little boy to sleep. My lullabies had calmed and quieted his four-year-old soul.

Like a Weaned Child with His Mother

I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. (Psalm 131:2)

How does God calm and quiet our souls? Like a mother.

Most of us have witnessed, in some way, the soul-calming effect of a mother’s presence on her child. There is safety with a mother, just as there is safety in the Father’s arms (Isaiah 33:2). The child hears peace in her voice just as the sheep hear peace in the Good Shepherd’s (John 10:27).

When a child is hurt or scared or sick, he calls for his mother. He trusts her completely. If the mother he trusts teaches him that there is one in whom his soul can trust even more, then hopefully, one day, he will cry out for Jesus instead.

God’s good purpose for mothers goes beyond feedings and diapers and taxi services. He designed you, dear mother, to be your child’s first glimpse of his comforting love for us in Christ. No one is better suited for this job than you. What a privilege, then, for you to put God’s soul-soothing character on display for your children.

Rooted in God

In the message “Join Me in Soul-Satisfaction in God,” John Piper says, “Psalm 131 is about a kind of contentment, or stillness, or quietness of soul, that is rooted not in circumstances, but in God — a God who never changes in his utter commitment to us in Christ.”

If we desire for our children’s souls to be rooted in God as he describes, then we as mothers have the great responsibility of providing a climate that is prime for growth. Root systems thrive in rich soil and sunlight. With ideal conditions early on, roots are able to absorb water and nutrients that eventually help the plant thrive in less than desirable circumstances.

Nourish Your Child

The monsters and thunderstorms that induce fear in our children’s hearts right now will turn one day into real-life demons and tempests. We can begin the good work of preparing their souls for battle today. When our children come to us afraid or anxious, we have the God-ordained privilege of offering them rich soil and sunshine. Our hugs, snuggles, words, and lullabies are life-giving minerals to their souls.

How do we nourish our children? We offer them steadfast love and faithfulness. We bear with them, forgive them, show them kindness, listen to them, and offer them words of encouragement and life by sharing the good news of Jesus Christ on a daily basis.

Drench your child in God’s word. Shine light into his darkness. Sing him to sleep. Take your child by the hand and lead him to streams of water so that God can plant his roots down deep and allow him to bear good fruit in the coming seasons (Psalm 1:3).

Lay Down Your Life

Motherhood is exhausting. It requires all of our energy — both mental and physical — and at the end of the day, it’s not uncommon to feel like we’re doing it all in vain. At times, it feels like you’re giving up your life for your child. If it does, be encouraged that you’re probably doing it right.

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. (1 John 3:16)

As we lay down our lives for our for our brothers and sisters in Christ, we also lay down our lives for our children. Today, take the time to kiss the boo-boos, wipe the tears, and sing lullabies of grace. Let your children rest in the comfort of your presence now so that they learn to rest in Jesus soon.

Originally written for Desiring God by Chelsea Stanley of Daughter Redeemed.

Five Consequences of Misapplying Scripture

A few weeks ago I did a mini-series on my Instagram stories regarding the misapplication of popular bible verses – verses like Jeremiah 29:11. The ensuing conversation in my community was both exciting and discouraging. In one sense, it was exciting to see how many believers recognized the problems with taking verses out of context and misapplying them. But it was saddening to see how many people had learned these verses in their wrong context, and how many of them were overwhelmed and discouraged when they found out this was the case.

Misapplying Scripture is easy to do with the western approach to literature. Our culture wants to read a passage and immediately apply it to our lives. Our concern with productivity spills into our time with the Lord, where we tend to minimize the metanarrative in search of immediate application. This causes several major issues in our faith and walk with the Lord, five of which I’ve shared below.

Limited or Incomplete View of God

When we pick verses out of the context in which the author wrote them, we’re not just mishandling Scripture from a literary standpoint. We’re changing how we view God in His Word. The authors God inspired to write the Bible intentionally phrased their work in specific ways. Like any writer would, they built the narrative thought upon thought, purposely arranging the accounts to send a message about who God is, was, and will be. When we pluck verses out of the story – e.g Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you…” – we miss out on the true meaning of those verses. We might be getting a partial truth from the out-of-context version, but it’s not the whole truth. We’re missing the big theological concepts that teach us the most about God.

When people do this repeatedly with the Word, they end up with a limited, incomplete view of God Himself. This is how believers end up looking to God as a cosmic vending machine (prosperity theology) or as all love and no justice (Rob Bell, for example). This is the primary problem with many women’s ministries and conferences, which focus on being “beautiful in God’s eyes” but never talk about what Jesus did to provide that identity (more on that issue here).

Exalted View of Self

The second consequence of misapplying scripture is an exalted view of self. This is the natural outcome when we start with an incomplete view of God, because any view of God that isn’t complete naturally tends to glorify humans.

People today want to feel good about themselves. Because the bible talks so much about God’s love for humanity, it’s quite easy to proof-text Scripture and accomplish this. All you have to do is quote verses about God’s love, peace, and joy. All these things ARE part of following Jesus, but there is so much more to the story. If this is all you know about Christianity, you’ll be devastated to discover that trials, pain, and persecution are promised to those who follow Christ. You’ll also struggle to submit to the exclusivity of Christ because the bible you were taught revolved around… you.

If you read a book or attend a study where Scripture is constantly used to focus on yourself, that’s your first clue that something is wrong. The bible should continually redirect our attention to who God is, what Jesus has done, and how the Spirit is working in this world. If you’re not coming away with a greater view of God, you’re not asking the right questions in your bible study. The bible is not about us; it’s about the Lord!

Read more: The Millennial Gospel: Jesus, Tell Me More About Me

Surface-level Understanding of Scripture

When we read the bible looking for things to immediately apply, it leads to a surface-level reading of Scripture. The bible is not meant to be read like a self-help book. It is our means of knowing God, how God chose to reveal Himself to us. But to know Him as He chose to reveal Himself, we have to dig into those difficult books and passages that don’t make good Instagram captions.

We’re drawn to books like Psalms and NT epistles because they seem practical or relateable. And while these books ARE just as inspired as the others, reading them alone gives us an incomplete understanding of the bible and of God. When we take the time to read the Old Testament, we get a better understanding of what was going on in David’s life when he wrote the Psalms. We get a clearer perspective on why Jesus came to earth. We understand the imagery and context Paul is referring to in his letters to the early church. When we take verses out of context, read quickly and only for application, and focus on the “easy” books, we miss out on the full picture of God’s Word.

Risk of Theological Error

One of the greatest dangers of misapplying Scripture is the risk of theological error. Let’s use Jeremiah 29:11 as an example. This well known verse often gets written in graduation cards:

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

What a nice verse! Of course we want to apply it to our lives, our plans, our post-graduate endeavors. The problem? This verse was not written to us. In context, it was written to Israel right before they were taken into Babylonian captivity. They would spend 70 years as strangers in a foreign land, a consequence of their repeated disobedience. If you read the verses before Jer. 29:11, you will see just how dire the situation was. And if you read Jeremiah 29:12-14, you find something even more challenging:

“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.”

God had a plan for Israel; that’s true. But God’s original, perfect plan – their obedience in the Promised Land – was prevented by their disobedience. If they had obeyed Him, they would have received this glorious blessing of peace. But because of their disobedience, God altered His plan to include captivity. Israel had to learn the consequences of rejecting God. This whole passage is about Israel removing themselves from God’s plan and God’s grace in spite of it.

Not something we want to write on a coffee mug.

When you take Jer. 29:11 out of its context, you come away with, “God has good plans for me.” But in context, we see that God’s good plans are fulfilled AS WE OBEY HIM. And it is possible to remove yourself from His original, perfect plan, and for Him to alter the course, if we choose to reject Him. This is a very serious passage, not one to be taken lightly. And when we take verses out of context like this we risk even greater theological error.

Missing Out on the Full Meaning of God’s Word

Ultimately, misquoting, misusing, and misapplying Scripture causes us to miss out on the full meaning of God’s Word. While none of us will have a perfect understanding of God or His Word this side of heaven, we should be perpetual students of it. As we diligently seek the Lord through Scripture, He grants us His Holy Spirit to understand what we read. That same Spirit teaches us how and when to apply the concepts. We must do more than pick up pithy statements for our mugs and tattoos. We must seek to grasp the fullness of God’s story in humanity.

And when we do, we will find a God far greater, grander, sweeter, and better than we ever before imagined.

Written by Phylicia Masonheimer