Finding Your Tribe

Lord, please bring me women I can do life with!

I’ve prayed this prayer so many times. But He has seen it best that I don’t have a “tribe.” Year after year, I meet people and watch people leave. Some friends I talk to more than others, but the ride-or-dies, the tribe - it hasn’t formed.

God has heard my prayers, and He has patiently and faithfully taught me.

Play date after play date, get-together after get-together, I would enter and run a mental checklist. You know the kind - is she in the same season of life? does she parent like me? is she too ___? does she care about ___? is her hair naturally that color? can’t be, she must spend a bazillion dollars on self-care…

In my desperation to find “the right” friends, I pushed many away (mentally) because they didn’t “fit.” But I have since learned that I shouldn’t treat people like prospective employees, because the business of filtering friendships is not really a thing. At least, it’s not a Godly thing!

People come and go in our lives; different people come in different seasons. None of this is unknown to God - in fact, He knows who we will learn from and grow with at each point in our lives! Instead of trying to create a group of women we think are perfect for our lives, what if we look around at who God has already introduced us to?

I have found that putting my mental checklist aside does wonders. Without those expectations, I am free to love and care about each woman God brings into my life. I am free to treat them as I want to be treated, and I am free to not worry when they don’t reciprocate.

As important as friendships are, we cannot put our faith in them. Other women cannot be our end-all, our ultimate quest in life. We will be disappointed time after time! God gives us the right people at the right times in our lives because He knows best who we need to learn from, and who will learn from us.

Friendships are important; living life solo isn’t preferable. Yet it’s really all about Him - surprise! Have you ever had someone come into your life and teach you an invaluable lesson, simply by being themselves? God uses us to teach each other and point each other to Himself. We learn more about Him and His goodness through each other, which makes sense since we all are made in His image.

I have had many women come into my life at various stages. Some are decades older, and we have remained close over many years. I have gained much wisdom from these women! Some have been in the same season of motherhood, and we have learned to appreciate each other because our children enjoy playing together. Some friendships fit naturally, and some take more work. Some women are good friends I’ve met in very unique ways, and yet we live hundreds and thousands of miles apart.

There is so much beauty in how God crosses paths and leads people to meet each other. There will never be one person who can be all the things for you - only Jesus can fill that role.

Let yourself and others off the hook! Take the women He puts in front of you, of all ages, and get to know them. Be more interested in how you can serve them than how they can serve you. Doing so will allow you some of the richest, worry-free friendships!

If the Lord brings a group of women around you that you are able to share much of life with, praise Him for that! Keep your eyes open to still connect with those who aren’t in your group. If the Lord does not bring you a tight-knit group of women, praise Him for that too and don’t stress over it!

“Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.”

Psalm 136:1

It sounds simple, and it is - take who He gives you and be thankful for them. Amen!

Standing for Our Children

This is a Facebook post I recently wrote, and I wanted to share it here as well. We are facing things in our beloved USA that we have never faced, and amidst it all - our children are being overlooked.

***

From the beginning of this whole thing...what shall we call it? It started with a virus and now who knows what's going on, it'll just be remembered as the infamous "2020".

From the beginning, I have been burdened for our children. Not just my kids, I mean kids across our nation. Bear with me, and please, put aside politics for a minute. I am desperate that you hear this.

We took them out of schools. We closed everything. No playgrounds, no libraries, no nothing. Away from consistency, friends, social life, space to play and learn and release energy.

Many families have actually thrived with this - God has used so much for good.

Yet there's another side. A side where I do trust He is still working, but a side that absolutely sickens me.

For many kids, home is not safe. Home is terrifying. Home is where they are abused, neglected, exposed. They are not protected.

And in the last 6+ months, as we've seen adult suicide and depression rates skyrocket, the number of cases being reported to DHS has dropped. I know this because I asked. Do you see what that means?
People are not reporting abuse (of course, if you're an abuser stuck at home with children...you're not reporting it and neither is anyone else). Children are not. being. protected.

And more recently, the exposure of human trafficking. We all knew it existed, but most of us didn't realize the extent of it. I am grateful it has been exposed, praise God for shedding light on what has been hidden in darkness. It is pure evil.

So what is our response?

To continue putting masks on our children's faces? Again - put aside the politics, please. If you look at a group of children in masks, they all look similar. Do you realize pedophiles are using this to their great advantage?? Do you know that traffickers are out and about - with children - and nobody even knows because we can't see each other's faces?

And defunding the police - are people thinking of the implications this has for *children*? Police are their defense! The police show up to calls for domestic abuse, they are the ones who wait with hurting children while a home is found for them to go to. They do the hard work to protect kids in our own neighborhoods.

Friends, will we keep failing our children?

Or will we think beyond ourselves, and think of the generations that come after us? Will we look out for those who can't look out for themselves?

It starts in our own homes, protecting our own children. Don't you feel bad for protecting your children. Don't be cow toed into things you know are not in your children's best interest. Fight for your kids.

And as we look out - if we see something, say something. Get trained to know the signs of abuse. (Operation Underground Railroad has fantastic resources for this.)

I'm still searching. I feel so helpless with it all, knowing there are children being preyed on and not knowing what on earth to do. But these couple things and a lot of prayer - I know those are places to start. Please, join me.

"When the cares of my heart are many,
Your consolations cheer my soul."
Psalm 94:19

"He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?"
Micah 6:8

Bite-Sized Encouragement

Hey mama.

It’s been a rough 29 months, hasn’t it?

Sure feels like it’s been that long.

I’ve had so many thoughts I’ve wanted to share, so many posts I’ve wanted to write. Ways to encourage and boost you up.

Today, though, is a day for few of my words and more from Scripture. Read them a couple times, and as always - shoot me an email if you need specific prayer. :)

“My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.

Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah”

PSALM 62:5-8

“O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches.
Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me.

But those who seek my life, to destroy it,
Shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
They shall fall by the sword;
They shall be a portion for jackals.

But the king shall rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him shall glory;
But the mouth of those who speak lies shall be stopped.”

PSALM 63

On Doing Good

“Now as He was going out on the road, one came running, knelt before Him, and asked Him, ‘Good Teacher, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?’

So Jesus said to him, ‘Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God.’”

Mark 10:17-18

Lately I’ve been thinking - what defines good for us? What standard do we use to measure good and bad?

In the conversation quoted above, Jesus is talking with a man who wants to get into Heaven. “Good Teacher, what must I do?” he asks. Jesus answers his question, but He starts by pointing out how the man addressed Him.

Good Teacher.

Jesus highlights a couple important things in His response. First, He draws the connection between Himself and God; they are the same Person. And second, He gives the standard of good: Himself.

He is the only One who is inherently good. He is the One who defines good; we don’t and can’t. But there is hope for us sinners - Jesus covers us with His righteousness, and gives us the ability to do good as well. Thank Him for that!

Since He is the true standard of good and bad, right and wrong, we need to model our lives after Him and what He does. You and I both know - we get to know Him and how He works through Scripture. We won’t be able to model our lives after Him if we aren’t faithfully in His Word! (And by now you know my favorite reading plan, the Bible Reading Challenge. Join us!)

In this time of turmoil and chaos, when things come to us disguised as “good” when in fact they are not - it’s important for us to know how to conduct ourselves. All things will be held accountable before the Lord someday; Heaven forbid we were lazy in learning how to be like our Savior.

Dig in, sisters. Surround yourself with Scripture, and pray that God would give you wisdom and clarity. He will honor that, and He will guide you!

For practical pointers, turn to Proverbs. Read it through a couple times, and keep in mind that a lot of what God teaches us there is contrary to how the world would have it. Use Scripture to interpret Scripture; that’s how God designed it.

As a way to test your progress, reflect on the fruit of the Spirit as evidenced in your life:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”

Galatians 5:22-23

Are you joyful despite the horrible news released each day? Do you have peace, knowing that God truly is in control? When your kids need to be corrected yet again, are you faithful to do it? Is there kindness in your words to your husband after a long day?

I ask myself these same questions, and they have to be revisited often as we grow. But the goal is maturity; we want to see progress. We want to be more like our Lord, to do good - as He defines it - in the time we have on this earth.

Christian, I’m routing and praying for you!

“As for God, His way is perfect;

The Word of the Lord is proven;

He is a shield to all who trust in Him.”

Psalm 18:30