Strength & Song

  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Resources
  • Shop
  • Contact
0W2A7184.JPG

Strong Relationships, Part 1

August 11, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Friendships, Family, Motherhood, Prayer, Scripture

There are few things a mama feels more deeply about than her children, few roles more complex and tiring than motherhood and few stakes higher. Motherhood is a weighty and wonderful role, and once you become a mama, you are forever changed. 

Elizabeth Elliot says: 

“The process of shaping the child…shapes also the mother herself. Reverence for her sacred burden calls her to all that is pure and good, that she may teach primarily by her own humble, daily example.”

I’m not sure how you are feeling as you embark on this journey; excitement, fear, a sense of awe that you are now to be entrusted with this new life… I certainly felt all of those feelings and more. Don’t be afraid of your inadequacy. In humility come to the Lord and admit your need of Him. And don’t be afraid to ask questions and seek help from trusted family and friends. 

How do you “tie heartstrings” (or build relationships) with your children, so as they grow up they don’t forget their connection between their parents - even in the teenage years?

This topic is a BIG one, and one I care very much about. I speak to you today as a mom still on the journey of learning how to truly know and love my children. I may have some miles behind me, but I am now on the new journey of asking the Lord to help me continue building on the relationships I have with our adult children. Some days the learning curve feels pretty steep, and I certainly don’t always get it right, but I am committed to the same goals my husband and I started with when we had our first child almost 25 years ago. 

I have spent the past nine days writing on an ever-growing word document and randomly grabbing scraps of paper to jot down ideas that come to me as I go throughout the day. I sought the thoughts and perspective of my husband and asked each of our three kids to have them help me learn ways that we built relationships with them over the years. I realize that every one of these points could be an entire talk of their own, so I prayed and asked the Lord to help me to synthesize and get to the heart of what I wanted to say and then to trust Him. I pray that I have done that!

Four major priorities or loves kept coming to the surface as I contemplated some of the ways to build relationships with your children that will carry on from infancy to adulthood: love for God, your husband, your children and the priority of genuine conversation (which is a major part of each “love”).

Remember, strong relationships and communication in the teen years begin with patterns and conversations that you began when they are little. It’s not necessarily something new you do with your teen, but an extension of what you have been doing all along. I encourage you to talk early and often about everything that truly matters to you. Help them to know your priorities from an early age. And don’t wait until you feel like you have all the “how” figured out before you start…just begin and trust that God will help you to grow and develop the specifics as time goes on.

1st Priority: Love for God

Recently I re-read Deuteronomy 11. In verse 13 Moses told God’s people to “love the Lord your God and to serve Him with all your heart and all your soul.” In verse 18, he went on to remind them to impress the words of God on their own heart and soul and to place them physically on their bodies as ready reminders. And then he reminded them of their responsibility to teach those very words to their children all the time: “when you sit in the house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you rise up.” In both the Old and New Testaments God is very clear - God’s people are called to love Him with all of their heart, soul, mind and strength. Daily we are to impress God’s Word upon our own hearts, and then, if we have children, we are to seek every opportunity to talk about it and live it out before our kids every day. 

Clearly, this must be priority number one for all of us. This one choice will affect all else we do as moms.

You and I have been called to know our God and we have been given the wonderful privilege to read God’s revelation of HIMSELF every day through His Word! This shouldn’t be hard, but I know it is! It’s hard to make it a priority before you have kids and it will often be even more difficult once you have children. The enemy of your soul knows this too, and he will use all manner of methods to distract and discourage you from your pursuit of your God in His Word. Do not be surprised about the difficulty, and do not give up because it is so hard!

I encourage you to fight and plan for opportunities in your day to read God’s word every day. Be creative! Place a Bible by the spot where you nurse and softly read His Word over your little one as she nurses. Play Scripture put to music and or listen to it on Bible Gateway. Sing God’s Word and meditate upon it. Install a Bible app on your phone and then read it while waiting for appointments, rather than looking at Facebook or Instagram or reading your email.

As your children get a little older, help them to revere the Word of God too. A young children’s leader puts a Bible on her lap and says, “This is God’s Holy Word, and every word of it is true!” Thank the Lord with them for giving us the Bible, teaching them that the Bible is God’s revelation of Himself. Read to them from God’s Word (when our kids were really young in highchairs I read Bible picture books to them every day at lunch), and let them observe you reading the Word on your own. Talk to them about what you read in the Word together and as they get older, share with them what you are learning as well. We also read theology-type books, like “Leading Little Ones to God.” 

Begin early to set the pattern for the example you wish to continue with your children as they grow older. You want them to know that the Bible is part of your everyday life, that reading it, talking about it and using it to formulate your values and make decisions is very, very normal. Never underestimate the power of your example! 

My pastor recently said in his sermon that kids can smell hypocrisy a mile away. How true this is! Ask God to help you be a doer of the Word and not a hearer only. When you fail, confess your sin first to Him and then to your children. Model for your children humility and need of God. In thoughtful and age-appropriate ways, share some of your own weakness and struggles to your children and ways you are asking Him to help you walk in obedience. Let them see in practical ways that the Bible is useful and relevant to your everyday life and decisions, with the prayer that they will continue that dialogue with you and seek the Lord in their own life as they grow.

Never underestimate the power of your example, and know that God can bring about good in your own life as you keep this truth of your example to your children before you. 

These words come from an online article, written by a mom: “Whenever I am discouraged and tempted to give up and give in to sin, the knowledge that my children are watching me and that I am an example to them reins me in and brings me back to where I need to be.”

And don’t forget to pray for your children! Let them know how you are praying for them and ask them if they have specific requests. Pray together often about their questions, concerns or needs. Prayer can be a powerful means to build a relationship with your children.

Although we have no guarantees that our children will choose God for themselves, we have the privilege and responsibility to teach them about God and Biblical truth and to bring them to the Lord in prayer, knowing that He is the One who changes hearts.

Part 1 of 4, written by an anonymous wise mama.

August 11, 2019 /Amy Parsons
relationships, parents
Friendships, Family, Motherhood, Prayer, Scripture
Comment
amycharmichael.jpg

Prayer for Our Children - Amy Charmichael

July 14, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Motherhood, Prayer

Father, hear us, we are praying,
Hear the words our hearts are saying,
We are praying for our children.


Keep them from the powers of evil,
From the secret, hidden peril,
From the whirlpool that would suck them,
From the treacherous quicksand, pluck them.


From the worldling’s hollow gladness,
From the sting of faithless sadness,
Holy Father, save our children.


Through life’s troubled waters steer them,
Through life’s bitter battle cheer them,
Father, Father, be Thou near them.
Read the language of our longing,
Read the wordless pleadings thronging,
Holy Father, for our children.


And wherever they may bide,
Lead them Home at eventide.

From “Toward Jerusalem” by Amy Carmichael

July 14, 2019 /Amy Parsons
prayer, missions, Amy Carmichael
Motherhood, Prayer
Comment
IMG950824_20190614_123733b.jpg

Loving Another Child & His Mama

June 27, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Friendships, Motherhood, Gospel

His mama drops him off bright and early. Sometimes he’s wearing a smile, sometimes he’s got his I’m-not-sure-yet face on. He surveys the area, sees his two friends, and starts to get comfortable. Soon they’re all bouncing around, throwing the frisbee and playing with the dogs.

We all hang out regularly. My mind always wanders. He’s safe, I’m pretty sure, and his mama tries hard. I don’t know her well at all, but I’d like to. She loves horses and is in a tricky spot. That’s about all I know. (And even if I knew more, ya’ll know it wouldn’t be coming on social media.)

What are her hopes? What are her dreams? What does she see in this life?

Her little boy sits with us at the table and shares snacks. All three boys climb up to watch the mac n cheese cook, in denial that the process could take more than 30 seconds. I watch dirty hands grab their cups, the eyes glancing at each other and the giggling amplifying in the kitchen. I am so grateful he joins in the laughter and is comfortable - it took some time to get here.

We play, break for lunch and a nap, then resume. They blow bubbles and scoop woodchips and race cars in circles around the house. The meltdowns come and go.

When she’s done with work she picks him up and I wish we had more time. More time to chat, time for her to relax a little. Sometimes I wish she could spend an evening having dinner with us, so she could see her boy in this environment. Maybe she'd see that Jesus can give so much joy to a household, even in the rough times. I wish I could get to know her, we might be friends.

But for now, I’ll just keep loving her little boy whenever I have the chance.

——————

For all you mamas taking care of someone else’s baby/babies, keep on keeping on. Whether you know their family well or not, whether they come from stability or instability - your love in the time you have matters. The kiddos know it! Love them like you love your own. And love their parents as well. ❤️

Written by Amy Parsons

June 27, 2019 /Amy Parsons
Friendships, Motherhood, Gospel
Comment
IMG_20181009_121030.jpg

If These Stairs Could Talk

June 16, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Friendships, Family, Homemaking, Hospitality, Marriage, Motherhood

If these stairs could talk, they’d tell you of many things.

The friends and family who visited when we first moved in, sharing in thanks for more space.

The weight carried up and down, things moved from one place to another.

The tears cried on them, many from the kids and many from myself.

The coffee spilled on them, hurriedly wiped up so the white wouldn’t be stained.

The babies carried up to bed, or snuggled in close and brought downstairs to try again.

The moments I’ve sat in the middle, waiting for quiet to come over the bedrooms.

The moments I’ve sat on the bottom, weary, waiting, resting.

The guests running up to use the bathroom, or grab their sneaky babies.

The kids’ friends scampering up and down to play together.

The toys thrown down, the balls thrown up and down and up again.

The times I’ve sat and listened to videos or read texts from dear friends.

The one stair at just the right height to let me sit and watch cars come down our street.

They’re not an idol, these stairs: they’re a reminder.

A means of giving thanks.

Because when I look back at all the memories and daily happenings, I am reminded:

  • God provides: for all our needs, all the time

  • Our babies are safe and loved

  • Our friends and family are welcome and comfortable here

  • We live this life fully

We always have enough. We always can extend more, and when we serve out of humility and love for our Lord it never comes back empty. He fills us up. He shows Himself to us and He teaches us what we need to know, when we need to know it. He is so incredibly sufficient!

If these stairs could talk, I think they’d tell of what a great Savior we have. What a hope we have in Him, what care we have from Him.

What a sweet, sweet place to be.

June 16, 2019 /Amy Parsons
home, reminders, remember, history
Friendships, Family, Homemaking, Hospitality, Marriage, Motherhood
Comment
  • Newer
  • Older