Do You Ever Feel Insignificant?

Hey young moms, do you ever feel insignificant, raising kids at home, picking up toys, wiping up spills, refereeing squabbles? Do you wonder if God’s forgotten about you or overlooked you? I wonder if Mary felt this way, having to give birth to the Son of God in a small barn surrounded by the sounds and smells of animals! Talk about feeling insignificant.

I really struggled with feeling insignificant as a younger mom with toddlers.

I felt that my life’s work could be summed up in a picture: the ocean waves coming in and destroying the sandcastle I built the hour before. All of my work was undone in minutes.

I wondered how God would use me when I was stuck in the house!

I wondered if God noticed me as I picked up Cheerios off the floor.

God did more than just see me. He was moulding me and used that time to change me. God often uses wilderness times to prepare us to really know Him before we are used of Him for some task. He used every frustrating situation to point out the pride in my heart. He was softening rough edges, sweetening a sarcastic tongue, and teaching me to trust Him.

In hindsight, I wondered if child raising mattered. Wasn’t this job limiting my creativity and squelching my opportunities? How would I pursue my passions and use the gifts God has given me to pursue my art and writing with kids hanging on my apron strings?

As if watching God’s children is not important enough or big enough. As if raising the next generation was the secondary work to the really important stuff of this world.

Maybe you’re in the trenches with little ones today. Maybe you feel overlooked and unseen. Maybe you dread the mundane and, if you were honest, would say that you desire a few more mountaintop moments yourself.

Turns out, life is more often lived in the mundane, and those little moments of quiet faithfulness are the building blocks of our lives. They are the times when God puts us on His potter’s wheel and remolds us and makes us into the shape, purpose, vessel He intends for us.

In the wee hours of the morning, when we are caring for an aging parent, when we are referring toddler squabbles or dealing with an unreasonable person on the phone, these are the moments that define our moulding. Will we submit to God’s work, and worry about His glory, or will we kick, scream, and demand our rights? It totally depends on what our heart adores and who rules our life, doesn’t it?

Paul Tripp made this point in “Advent” and I wanted to share it with you:

You and I live in little moments, and if God doesn’t rule our little moments and doesn’t work to recreate us in the middle of them, then there is no hope for us, because that’s where you and I live.The little moments of life are profoundly important precisely because they are the little moments that we live in and that form us. This is where I think “Big Drama Christianity” gets us into trouble. It can cause us to devalue the significance of the little moments of life and the “small change” grace that meets us there. Because we devalue the little moments where we live, we don’t tend to notice the sin that gets exposed there. We fail to seek the grace that’s offered to us. You see, the character of a life is not set in two or three dramatic moments, but in 10,000 little moments. The character that was formed in those little moments is what shapes how you respond to the big moments of life.

Mary was literally insignificant, poor, and unknown, but not unseen by God. God saw her humility and faithfulness demonstrated in her daily walk. God knew her heart, her purity and peace and contentment…and isn’t it true that God cares more about our affection for Him than our exploits for Him? He measures “BIG THINGS” in a different way than we do.  BIG in God’s economy is humble, small, dependent and trusting. BIG in God’s economy is faithful, willing, ready. BIG in God’s economy is obedient, submissive, and pure in heart and that should give us hope because we can all do those big things.

Originally written by Sarah Beals of Joy-Filled Days. Used with permission.

Helping Our Children Walk in Wisdom…Self Control

“Ponder all the life-implications of a well-controlled adult and see if he will not look back on his devoted mother with all the gratitude his life can muster and attribute to her the bulk of his earthly successes!”

Mothering became a full time job I knew I had to devote my life to when I began to look at Scripture and understand my responsibility to impart spiritual wisdom to my children. That it was more than crayons and protecting them from germs and making sure they ate enough carrots: it was a dividing line between what others expect and what God requires.

This “imparting of wisdom” is not just a nice parenting term to toss around; it plays itself out day by day, hour by hour, in the details of life. Someone is daily beside our children pointing them to wisdom or foolishness, teaching them in all things, whether right or wrong.

Anyone home all day with little ones (who understands this idea of imparting wisdom) knows the enormous time and mental energy it takes to raise children. My sister-in-law and I discussed parenting issues the other day and I thought as we talked, “it’s no wonder motherhood–24-hour motherhood–is so unpopular….it’s hard!”

Do hard things.

These verses we read this morning are just one small area that spoke volumes to me about my responsibility to teach my children to walk in wisdom:

“Who is wise among you?  Let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom….For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work….But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.  And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.”

Boy if that’s not chocked full of parenting! After all, how does a person learn “good conversation” full of meekness and gentleness and willing to yield? Because believe me, my children didn’t come that way. I’m not wired that way. It’s a daily seeking of life-changing wisdom by all of us! Me from my Father, and my children from me.

The Lord has really been showing me lately the importance of our speech–the words we say, and especially how we say them. If you listen closely, children do what comes naturally…they use volume and intensity to get what they want. Sometimes they use threats and insults. It’s a simple matter of a lack of self-control mingled with sinfulness. As we point to the sin of it, God begins a work in their hearts. In the mean time, we help them with habits that will meet that work. Self-control is not usually common to us; it is a trait that must be learned. (And unfortunately, a very important trait that many never learn that later has devastating consequences in their lives.) That one trait can take years! And mothers, we are the primary catalyst for that transformation in our children. Sorry, we just are, as heavy as that is.

Let’s get practical…

The earlier you can start working on self-control and its practical applications the better. Sometimes a 7 or 8 month-old infant can demonstrate anger during a diaper change and a gentle speaking to her will begin to train her to understand self-control.

Do you have a 1 or 2 year old that has begun his natural responses to not getting his way? Does he scream or hit when another child has something he wants? Begin to replace his natural reaction with a wise one.   (And discipline him when it becomes defiance or disobedience to your instruction.) Show him the right response, the right words, the right behavior. Tell him “No, don’t say….if you want that cup say….”

I’m trying to work with my 3-year old, specifically on her tone of voice. Again, it’s quite natural to raise her voice when she’s frustrated (it’s natural for me ;-)) but by stopping her when I catch it, and simply demonstrating a more controlled response helps her to train herself to display self-control.

And, beauty of motherhood, if I’m aware of my job to teach these traits to them, I must, myself, be given to exercising self-control and gentleness.

This one thing–responding to life with self-control–could it be the very foundation of pointing our children to joy and contentment in life? Ponder all the life-implications of a well-controlled adult and see if he will not look back on his devoted mother with all the gratitude his life can muster and attribute to her the bulk of his earthly successes!

“He who walks with the wise will become wise; but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20

Originally written by Kelly Crawford of Generation Cedar. Used with permission.

Self-Help or Freedom?

So how good are we?

"The fool has said in his heart,

'There is no God.'

They are corrupt, and have done abominable iniquity;

There is none who does good.

God looks down from heaven upon the children of men,

To see if there are any who understand, who seek God.

Every one of them has turned aside;

They have together become corrupt;

There is none who does good,

No, not one."

Psalm 53:1-3

"...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

Romans 3:23

According to Scripture, none of us is good! HOWEVER:

"Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever."

Psalm 18:1

"Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness."

Psalm 143:10

God is good! Salvation in Jesus Christ means we are covered by His righteousness and freed from bondage to sin:

"For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin."

Romans 6:5-7

Hallelujah! Freedom from sin means we can do good; because of His power and by His grace, we can do good.

Does that look like self-help to you?

Nope. It's a whole lot more substantial and freeing, friends.

Written by Amy Parsons.

Making Time for Word-Filled Ministry

Question: How can we make time for word-filled ministry in the midst of our busy lives? 

Answer: First of all, there is plenty of grace for busy seasons of life. The needs of our families and churches and jobs ebb and flow and sometimes we’re consumed by different projects or newborn babies. Every season is unique in regard to how much time we have available to study the Word. 

With that said, however, if we desire to grow in our Christian faith or if we are women in Christian leadership, then we must strive and exert ourselves to prioritize Bible study. Spiritual maturity will not happen on the margins of life. Further, leaders must be prepared and out ahead of those whom they serve—not to be puffed up or perfect by any means, but leaders lead and they are, by definition, ahead. 

1. Whether you and I are single, married, or moms, of first importance is making some foundational and difficult decisions about how we’re going to spend ourselves—our time, our energy, our money, and more. It’s helpful to think ahead a decade or 30 or 50 years. What kind of woman and Christ-follower do you want to be? What will it take to get there? 

If we endeavor to know Christ deeply, then we must make time for study. In the US, we have so many options for how we might spend our time—sports, clubs, hobbies, good causes, and on and on. Buffets of options abound and if we want to stay sane, healthy, and not burned out, we must choose wisely. My encouragement to singles and families alike is to limit your activities to just one or two (or whatever number is necessary) so that you can make space for plenty of time at home to be still and in the scriptures.

2. After we’ve setup some strict boundaries about how we’re going to spend our lives, we must make the most of the opportunities we do have to get into the Word. 

For personal absorption during an especially taxing season (new baby, geographic transition, new job), I find it helpful to not only read the Bible, but to also listen to it. I like the ESV Bible app and listening to Scripture set to songs, such as Hidden In My Heart or Seeds Family Worship. Why not let the Word of God dwell in you while you’re driving or cleaning or putting the kids to bed?

If you’re finding it hard to do Bible study because you have kids, consider doing it with them. Teaching your kids is a great way to get the Word into yourself. Take time to share Bible stories or read chunks of scripture together at meals, bedtime, or snack time after school. Some helpful resources are The Bible Project, Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God, The Radical Book for Kids: Exploring the Roots and Shoots of Faith, The New City Catechism: 52 Questions and Answers for Our Hearts and Minds, and Exploring the Bible: A Bible Reading Plan for Kids. 

If you’re tempted to skip personal Bible study altogether because you feel overwhelmed, look for ways to integrate at least small portions of Scripture into your day—everyday doesn’t have to be an in-depth, inductive day! 

Other helpful tools include podcasts such as RisenMotherhood, Help Me Teach The Bible with Nancy Guthrie, Revive Our Hearts, or Flower Mound Women’s Bible Study. Or look for Bible study workbooks you can do alone or with a group. Or simply grab a friend and read a chapter together, share reflections, and pray together. 

3. For those who teach/facilitate Word-filled women’s ministry, we really must put in the time for our own study. We have to do whatever it takes to make it happen! Ignore the house, put on a video for the kids, buy frozen pizza. As leaders we cannot compromise on this. Or, simply, as women of God, there really are no shortcuts for meditating on the Word and letting it dwell in us richly. 

4. Hosting is, in my experience, the best way to stay consistent, year in and year out. If you host women’s Bible study in your own home, then you will never miss it! If ladies are coming to your home and expecting you to lead, you will be prepared! It works like a charm. 

5. Let’s be human and walk in our finiteness. Take a Sabbath. Get good sleep. Cut other things out of life to make room for the Word (rather than cut the Word out to make time for the other things). In the end, we really will do that which we want to do. 

6. Finally, let’s pray that God would increase our desire for his Word! During dry seasons I myself have prayed, Lord, you know I just don’t feel like reading your Word today (or abiding in you or praying to you, etc). I feel lazy/discouraged/distracted/whatever. Please help me want to want to draw near to you. Amen. 

May you and I remember that we toil to make Christ known with all his energy in us (Colossians 1:28-29). For we are God’s workmanship, created in Jesus for good works, so let’s walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).

Originally written by Jen Oshman: wife, mom of four girls, missionary, writer. Used with permission.