Inadequacy & Sufficiency

I want to be all the things.

Please all the people.

Fear creeps right in as I settle down on the couch to look at the snow.

How can I possibly handle more if I can’t handle what I have?

What makes me think I could handle more kids, like we so desire?

What makes me think I can give more and serve more?

But when I think it all through, these questions and others, I see lies.

I think things aren’t being handled, yet they are. The kids are fine, everyone’s basic needs are met, we have a happy home, and we’re all learning more about Jesus.

Still all I see is my failures.

Failure over here, failure over there. Not enough of this, not enough of that.

There’s Godly wisdom in managing time well, in saying no to things, in prioritizing. Taking things off my plate when I know He wants me to - that yields blessings.

But there are situations that break me… because that’s what He wants. There are times it all simply is too much for me, and that’s a good thing. He uses these seasons to make me stronger - stronger because I know His strength better.

I know this truth, and I’ve known it all my life: I am not enough. He is.

Motherhood has shown me more depth to this truth; depths I haven’t experienced before. I can do a whole lot by myself. I can pick myself up by the bootstraps and keep going. And going, and going, and going. I can meet people’s physical needs and keep meeting them as they come in and out the door.

But there’s a whole lot of brokenness in this world, with each of us. There’s brokenness in me and there’s brokenness in everyone who comes through our doors. It’s messy. I’m inadequate. There are mental and emotional needs I’ll never be able to meet. And truthfully that’s the hardest part, seeing things and wishing I could fix them - knowing I can’t.

Yet He is sufficient.

The needs everyone else has? He can meet them. Let them see Him!

The needs I have? I mess up, and I wish my flaws could go unseen but often they don’t. So I apologize when necessary, and turn to Him. He can meet my needs too. May my children see!

There are questions I don’t have answers for. But I do know that the Lord has every answer we could ever need, whether it looks how we expect it to or not.

So rather than try to pretend I can do it all, or be it all - I’m learning to accept my limitations. It sounds silly, doesn’t it? Obviously we have limitations! Oh, but we act like we’re invincible.

My limitations show myself and others that He alone can satisfy. Using them to point to Him can be painful but it is truly a joy! And - He determines what’s ultimately necessary and what’s not. What a shift, to think of how His load is light (Matt. 11:30) while the loads we give ourselves are so heavy!

That fear that creeps in, as I sit and think of all the things to do and be… it isn’t necessary. As the Lord adds people and tasks to our lives, He gives all that’s needed. He also gives standards to measure by; I can look to others to gauge some things in life, but may I let Him be the end-all.

My encouragement to you, reader, is to rely on His strength and look to Him to judge how you’re doing. Be consistently - daily - in His Word and in prayer. Let Him guide you and your family.

Be faithful with what He puts in front of you, be content in it, and do all for His glory. Rest in His sufficiency. He truly, deeply, is enough!

-Amy

Taught in the Quiet

It’s been quiet around here the last month. :)

I’m amazed at how much the Lord has taught me in these last few weeks. Seems like many of the things I *knew* in my head have been fleshed out, brought to life before me.

It has been so full.

Scaling back (significantly) on work beyond the home has left me with so much more. More time and energy, yes, but also more awareness. More availability. More creativity for what’s in front of me.

I tend to view all things in life from a dichotomist’s perspective - either/or, this or that, black or white. All or nothing. I do things to extremes, and over the years the Lord has so graciously been helping me gain balance. Pausing the Strength & Song magazine and routine emails has been another means of Him teaching me this. In time, those things may come back to my plate - but they will be much better balanced and the season will be more suitable.

Instead of using every naptime and much of my free time for work, I am more available for my family and community. And I’ll share a humbling fact - I think I’ve done more ministry in the last four weeks than I did in two years working. (It is hard to determine this, of course, because I don’t see the fruit of my labor when I’m producing emails and magazines. But this month has been so rich; you’ll see why.)

We’ve welcomed people over for dinner. I’ve sat on my couch with ladies from church as we cried out to the Lord on behalf of a friend. The kids have helped me make dinner for a sick friend, and came with me to deliver it. We’ve sat around the fire past bedtime with family, watching stars and kids who’d had too much sugar. We’ve had new friends over to play, a family who just moved back home after 10 years away. The kids and I have been in a morning Bible study, and my husband and I have joined an evening Bible study. We welcomed a desperate mom and her baby for a night while she made some life choices. We’ve had impromptu playdates with neighbors whose yard isn’t so flat.

It’s been full.

These things haven’t all happened at once, and I don’t share them to boast. I don’t have all the things we think are necessary to be hospitable - in fact, the only bed I had to offer our guest was the couch. Yet God has convicted me of the importance of living out my faith in my community. He’s convicted me of the need to actually know my community.

I don’t need to have the answers for everyone. I used to be fearful of my neighbors, fearful that I would say something that didn’t represent Christ well and fearful that I wouldn’t remember the right Bible verse for the moment. Growing up in a Christian home and Christian school and going to church regularly (all good!), I wasn’t sure how to interact with nonbelievers. What do you even talk about, if there’s no similarity of faith? What happens when they ask a question or make a statement contrary to His Word and you don’t have an answer or response?

What a weight I haven’t needed to carry. I have learned better the meaning of Luke 12:12:

Now when they bring you to the synagogues and magistrates and authorities, do not worry about how or what you should answer, or what you should say. For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.

He knows what our neighbors need and when they need it. My job is to be obedient to Him. Of course, that can still spark some fear (standing for Truth with nonbelievers is still a challenge sometimes!). But being obedient to Him is to love them well.

Living alongside other humans is messy. (I know, DUH.) It means riding the rollercoasters of emotions with them. It means joy in the morning and weeping at lunch and desperation at snacktime and contentment at dinner. (And yes, it also means days are often measured in terms of meals. There’s lots of food.) I’ve been learning too that riding the rollercoasters means you need to get good at leaving things with the Lord. If you keep it all in your grip, you obsess over problems and how to fix them and make everyone happy and guess what? Only God can satisfy. We do have limits to how far we can extend. He doesn’t. Hallelujah!

I’ve been taught in the quiet. It has been hard, and it has been wonderful. We have a Savior who steps into our mess, who loves us so deeply, who knows the answers to all of our needs. He is the answer to our need. And He fills us with His joy everlasting, He is truly amazing!

I have missed the regular emails and putting together magazines, it is still bittersweet to think of the fact that I’m not doing them right now. Yet this season has been so good, and I know I’m where the Lord wants me to be. I am so looking forward to how He continues to teach me and work in our family. If you need a push to slow down, scale back, or get outside your comfort zone in community… here it is. *Nudge*

Still praying for you, friends. May the Lord lead you and fill you with His joy.

-Amy

If These Stairs Could Talk

If these stairs could talk, they’d tell you of many things.

The friends and family who visited when we first moved in, sharing in thanks for more space.

The weight carried up and down, things moved from one place to another.

The tears cried on them, many from the kids and many from myself.

The coffee spilled on them, hurriedly wiped up so the white wouldn’t be stained.

The babies carried up to bed, or snuggled in close and brought downstairs to try again.

The moments I’ve sat in the middle, waiting for quiet to come over the bedrooms.

The moments I’ve sat on the bottom, weary, waiting, resting.

The guests running up to use the bathroom, or grab their sneaky babies.

The kids’ friends scampering up and down to play together.

The toys thrown down, the balls thrown up and down and up again.

The times I’ve sat and listened to videos or read texts from dear friends.

The one stair at just the right height to let me sit and watch cars come down our street.

They’re not an idol, these stairs: they’re a reminder.

A means of giving thanks.

Because when I look back at all the memories and daily happenings, I am reminded:

• God provides: for all our needs, all the time

• Our babies are safe and loved

• Our friends and family are welcome and comfortable here

• We live this life fully

We always have enough. We always can extend more, and when we serve out of humility and love for our Lord it never comes back empty. He fills us up. He shows Himself to us and He teaches us what we need to know, when we need to know it. He is so incredibly sufficient!

If these stairs could talk, I think they’d tell of what a great Savior we have. What a hope we have in Him, what care we have from Him.

What a sweet, sweet place to be.

Making Time for Word-Filled Ministry

Question: How can we make time for word-filled ministry in the midst of our busy lives? 

Answer: First of all, there is plenty of grace for busy seasons of life. The needs of our families and churches and jobs ebb and flow and sometimes we’re consumed by different projects or newborn babies. Every season is unique in regard to how much time we have available to study the Word. 

With that said, however, if we desire to grow in our Christian faith or if we are women in Christian leadership, then we must strive and exert ourselves to prioritize Bible study. Spiritual maturity will not happen on the margins of life. Further, leaders must be prepared and out ahead of those whom they serve—not to be puffed up or perfect by any means, but leaders lead and they are, by definition, ahead. 

1. Whether you and I are single, married, or moms, of first importance is making some foundational and difficult decisions about how we’re going to spend ourselves—our time, our energy, our money, and more. It’s helpful to think ahead a decade or 30 or 50 years. What kind of woman and Christ-follower do you want to be? What will it take to get there? 

If we endeavor to know Christ deeply, then we must make time for study. In the US, we have so many options for how we might spend our time—sports, clubs, hobbies, good causes, and on and on. Buffets of options abound and if we want to stay sane, healthy, and not burned out, we must choose wisely. My encouragement to singles and families alike is to limit your activities to just one or two (or whatever number is necessary) so that you can make space for plenty of time at home to be still and in the scriptures.

2. After we’ve setup some strict boundaries about how we’re going to spend our lives, we must make the most of the opportunities we do have to get into the Word. 

For personal absorption during an especially taxing season (new baby, geographic transition, new job), I find it helpful to not only read the Bible, but to also listen to it. I like the ESV Bible app and listening to Scripture set to songs, such as Hidden In My Heart or Seeds Family Worship. Why not let the Word of God dwell in you while you’re driving or cleaning or putting the kids to bed?

If you’re finding it hard to do Bible study because you have kids, consider doing it with them. Teaching your kids is a great way to get the Word into yourself. Take time to share Bible stories or read chunks of scripture together at meals, bedtime, or snack time after school. Some helpful resources are The Bible Project, Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God, The Radical Book for Kids: Exploring the Roots and Shoots of Faith, The New City Catechism: 52 Questions and Answers for Our Hearts and Minds, and Exploring the Bible: A Bible Reading Plan for Kids. 

If you’re tempted to skip personal Bible study altogether because you feel overwhelmed, look for ways to integrate at least small portions of Scripture into your day—everyday doesn’t have to be an in-depth, inductive day! 

Other helpful tools include podcasts such as RisenMotherhood, Help Me Teach The Bible with Nancy Guthrie, Revive Our Hearts, or Flower Mound Women’s Bible Study. Or look for Bible study workbooks you can do alone or with a group. Or simply grab a friend and read a chapter together, share reflections, and pray together. 

3. For those who teach/facilitate Word-filled women’s ministry, we really must put in the time for our own study. We have to do whatever it takes to make it happen! Ignore the house, put on a video for the kids, buy frozen pizza. As leaders we cannot compromise on this. Or, simply, as women of God, there really are no shortcuts for meditating on the Word and letting it dwell in us richly. 

4. Hosting is, in my experience, the best way to stay consistent, year in and year out. If you host women’s Bible study in your own home, then you will never miss it! If ladies are coming to your home and expecting you to lead, you will be prepared! It works like a charm. 

5. Let’s be human and walk in our finiteness. Take a Sabbath. Get good sleep. Cut other things out of life to make room for the Word (rather than cut the Word out to make time for the other things). In the end, we really will do that which we want to do. 

6. Finally, let’s pray that God would increase our desire for his Word! During dry seasons I myself have prayed, Lord, you know I just don’t feel like reading your Word today (or abiding in you or praying to you, etc). I feel lazy/discouraged/distracted/whatever. Please help me want to want to draw near to you. Amen. 

May you and I remember that we toil to make Christ known with all his energy in us (Colossians 1:28-29). For we are God’s workmanship, created in Jesus for good works, so let’s walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).

Originally written by Jen Oshman: wife, mom of four girls, missionary, writer. Used with permission.