At the Table - Why Eating Together Matters

“And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts.” Acts 2:46 (ESV)

His gnarled, arthritic hands struggle to hold the fork. It irritates him that the simple act of lifting fork to mouth, a task he has done well, without thought, for over nine decades is now a difficult one. In the time it takes us to eat an entire plateful, he has only managed four small bites. If we leave the table at this point, he gives up and eats no more. So, we stay. We slow down our own eating. We talk between bites about this and that, about life in all its beauty and idiosyncrasies. And, over the course of an hour, he finishes. Cleans his plate. We find we’ve not only fed our bodies but our hearts as well at this slowed-down family meal.

He has now passed on to Heaven and is enjoying a new body without arthritic hindrances. In his place are new folk living with us for a season and sharing our table. Children still learning to grasp their forks, bibbed and sometimes clumsy. They, too, eat slowly. They chatter as we eat, full of information about dragons and ninjas, butterflies and snakes. With wonder in their eyes, they speak as their food grows cold. They, too, need our help to finish the job and clean their plates. As we slow down, talk and laugh with them, together we feed our bodies and our hearts at the table.

Our God, I believe, smiles on the family dinner table, where conversation flows and patience and grace are exercised. The sanctifying of His people doesn’t always come from sermons and well-worded books. It can be found in the patient listening to another. In the stopping to cut someone’s meat. In the waiting and the sharing and the slowing.

Another wonderful value of family time around the table is that in some small way our meals together look forward to one of our great joys to come—the great Wedding Supper of the Lamb. The feasting and company at that table will be rich beyond compare. Even as Jesus was breaking bread to symbolize His soon-to-be broken body, He, too, was looking ahead to that great day: “And when the hour came, he reclined at table, and the apostles with him. And he said to them, ‘I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you I will not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.’ And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he said, ‘Take this, and divide it among yourselves. For I tell you that from now on I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes’” (Luke 22:14-18 ESV).

I lift my glass of water, today, to the beauty and grace of the dinner table: a place to love one another, experience the joy of togetherness, and look forward to the great supper to come with the Lamb of God!

Father God, today I thank You for the blessing of food enough to satisfy. I thank You for the lessons learned from eating together. I thank You for the eager yearning Your Words have stirred in my heart for the day when I sit at the table with the Lamb Himself! In His Name, Amen.

Originally written by Sharon Gamble for Sweet Selah Ministries. Used with permission.

Older & Younger Moms

"Who's teaching mothers these days anyways?!"

An older mom looked at me, wanting to roll her eyes and tear up at the same time.

We had been talking about a choice one mom had made that put the health of her infant in jeopardy; one that she was comfortable with while those around her watched with horror. The choice is hers, and she owns it.

But the exclamation from my friend turned my attention elsewhere --
Who do we learn from?
Who is teaching us younger moms, anyways?

We moms are pros at figuring things out as we go. We have to! Kids (and life in general) are unpredictable, and we have to expect the unexpected and be prepared for what we don't know how to do.

Yet Scripture gives us this mandate:
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled" (Titus 2:3-5).

Older women are given the responsibility of teaching and training the younger women; they have had more years under their belts and typically have much wisdom for younger women to glean from.

Guess what that means for us younger women? We should listen to those who are older than us! Everything must be held against the Word of God, but that certainly shouldn't deter us from listening to those who have more life experience than we do. They may have tips for maintaining a home, or tricks for effectively disciplining a stubborn child; they may have habits they've kept for decades that have served them well in their personal lives. Each older woman has things that worked for her and things that didn't; imagine how much you could learn from even a few older moms!

My challenge to you and myself for this holiday season especially is to listen to moms older than us. We will have opportunities as we gather with family and friends to interact with women we can learn from. Even the most unlikely of people have things we can learn - whether we keep or discard their ideas.

As we sit down together, open gifts together, share meals together - don't be afraid to ask, or pay attention to a conversation that's already started. And when someone does share with you, resist the urge to be prideful. Resist cutting her off if you're not interested; resist rolling your eyes if it's something you've heard a thousand times. Hear it once more and be respectful of her opinions and methods. It will bless her, and if it doesn't bless you it will strengthen your patience and grace. Which is really still a blessing. ;)

Originally written by Amy Parsons for the Strength & Song weekly email.

The Power of Gathering Around the Table: Beyond Hospitality

Gathering around the table: a once-almost sacred event, carefully guarded from distractions, is almost just a relic in American memory. Perhaps we have lost our understanding of its importance, consequently giving our allegiances to other activities which leave no time for the family dinner hour. Admittedly, we have begun to struggle with this as sports have monopolized our dinner time many days, giving us strong pause about our choices.

There are studies and research that provide astounding evidence to the benefits of gathering together around the table regularly, from lower rates of obesity to lower rates of drug use in youth. Importance of the Family Table (With a Look at Education Benefits) lists some of them.

The rhythm of gathering daily, the act of facing each other, poised to listen and be heard, partaking in a pleasurable activity together and enjoying the gifts of God that are recognized as such–these are life-giving things. It’s difficult to hold a grudge against someone with whom you are breaking bread and passing plates. Fellowship in inextricably intertwined with eating together. For that reason, we should guard our meal times religiously.

“The table is a place of memory where we…become aware of who we are and with whom we are. Around the table, all previous meals come together in every meal, in an endless succession of memories and associations. The table is the place where the family gathers, the symbol of solidarity, or indeed the backdrop to family rows and childhood tragedies. At the table the eater is tamed.” Why We Eat Together, The Atlantic

I’ve also been thinking about the biblical implications for the importance of table fellowship and it’s a beautiful thing to trace, encouraging us of even more meaningful reasons to make gathering a priority.

Jesus loved to tell stories using imagery of food. He called Himself the Bread of Life, promising to fulfill our insatiable appetites, and offering us the Drink that will cause us to never thirst again.

And in that life-changing Eucharist that points us to the cross over and over, until His return, He invites us to dine with Him over wine and bread. It’s an intimate fellowship at His table each time we gather so we make it a regular part of our worship, doing it in remembrance of Him.

The Eucharist should spill over to our own tables. And what does Eucharist mean? THANKSGIVING. Ultimately, when we come to table–the Lord’s table or our own, we join together in thanksgiving because we should. We have been given life and redemption, and abundance beyond that.

Do our children meet with us each day in Eucharist–thanksgiving? The older I get, and the more I see, the more I’m convinced that there is NO trait more important to cultivate in our homes than gratitude. I beg the Lord to keep my children from some of the self-absorbed, petty and destructive attitudes I see among so many young people I know.

And as our thanksgiving grows, it spills out onto those around us. Scripture encourages us to be hospitable–to those outside our homes as much as inside.

“A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:25

When we break bread with our neighbors, extended family or friends, there is an unspoken refreshment happening. We thank Him for our friends, and we thank Him for the hands and heart that, through ministry, labor to create a beautiful, tasty meal–even a simple one. Eucharist.

Let us strive to carve out, as often as possible, this time of gathering together, sharing a meal and sharing ourselves out of thanksgiving, leaving a powerful demonstration in our homes of what it means to live thankfully.

Originally written and published by Kelly Crawford. Used with permission.

Six Ways to Redeem Playdates

As a mom of three little boys, playdates are part of our regular rhythm of life. My kids love playing with their friends, and I should love fellowshipping with other Christian moms, right? But to be honest, playdates often leave me discouraged. I go into a date longing for Christian community, but walk out feeling like it was no different from time spent with nonbelieving friends.

I recently shared my feelings with a few other moms (ironically at a playdate), and I was surprised to learn that they feel the same way. How is it that we — a group of moms who love Jesus — can gather for two hours and talk about nothing more than diapers and diets?

We decided then and there that it’s time for our playdates to be seasoned with the gospel. How do we practically achieve that? Moms, here are six ways we can redeem our playdates.

1. Practice humble hospitality.

Playdates give us an opportunity to welcome others in the joy of the Lord. God’s word tells us to “show hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9). Remember, little ears are always listening. Do your children hear you complaining about the state of your house, or do they hear you eagerly anticipating fellowship with friends?

A tidy, beautiful home can help foster fellowship, but it is by no means a prerequisite. Go ahead and clean your house, but let the lingering crumbs and fingerprints communicate humility and camaraderie, as if to say, “I’m in the trenches, too.”

Greet your sisters, nephews, and nieces in Christ with holy affection like you would your own family (2 Corinthians 13:12). Create a context for redeemed playdates by showing humble hospitality.

2. Use playdates as a spiritual training ground for your kids.

The Christian playdate should be a safe and grace-filled training ground for our kids as we seek to train them up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). If your child hits another child, privately instruct him in confession and repentance. If yours is the one with the bump on his head, comfort him and help him extend forgiveness to his friend (Luke 17:3-4). Lean on and encourage each other as you seek to raise children who will love the Lord.

3. Choose your words wisely.

One of the marks of female Christian fellowship should be wholesome, edifying conversation. When we get together with other women, we have to be ever so careful to “let no corrupting talk come out of [our] mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

While women of the world may complain about their husbands or dish dirt on their neighbors, Christ-following women are called to a higher and holy standard. This doesn’t mean we can’t share our struggles with one another. If you are struggling, by all means, speak up! But check the motives of your heart — are you venting to make yourself feel good or sharing with the expectation of being encouraged (and possibly rebuked) by your sisters in gospel love?

Instead of tearing others down with your words, build each other up with Spirit-filled encouragement. Share what you have been reading in the Bible or what God has been teaching you about himself. You might even praise a child for her kindness, or tell your friend how you admire the way she handled a difficult situation. Speak words of life and point each other to Christ.

4. Look and listen.

Look for opportunities to serve one another in love (Galatians 5:13). Hold another mom’s baby, help a mom of three get her kids into the car, or bring a meal to the mom whose husband is away.

Listen well. Ask God to give you ears to hear your friend’s heart. Make sure you have really listened before offering any encouragement or counsel, and if you can, offer to talk in greater depth outside of the playdate (Proverbs 18:13).

5. Pray while you play.

Pray with and for one another. If your kids are still tiny and immobile, pray over them while they crawl around. If they’re a bit older, invite them to pray before snack time by taking turns praising God. Pray a silent prayer for the mom who is in the midst of disciplining her child. Pause and pray with your own child who is struggling to obey. Ask how you can pray for your friends during the week.

Teach your kids that we can pray even while we play!

6. Invite others in.

Jesus loves children and their mothers, and desires for them to know and love him too. “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them,” he says, “for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14).

The way to a mom’s heart is often through her children. Invite your child’s nonbelieving friends and their moms to your playdates so they can experience genuine gospel community and the love of Jesus firsthand. “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

Moms, it’s time to redeem the playdate. God has so much more in store for us in our fellowship than just keeping our kids busy until nap time. John Newton once wrote, “May Christ be our theme in the pulpit and in the parlor.” With God’s help, let’s covenant to make Christ the theme in our playdates — inviting him into our homes as we gather and play for his glory.

Originally written by Chelsea Stanley for Desiring God.