Six Ways to Redeem Playdates

As a mom of three little boys, playdates are part of our regular rhythm of life. My kids love playing with their friends, and I should love fellowshipping with other Christian moms, right? But to be honest, playdates often leave me discouraged. I go into a date longing for Christian community, but walk out feeling like it was no different from time spent with nonbelieving friends.

I recently shared my feelings with a few other moms (ironically at a playdate), and I was surprised to learn that they feel the same way. How is it that we — a group of moms who love Jesus — can gather for two hours and talk about nothing more than diapers and diets?

We decided then and there that it’s time for our playdates to be seasoned with the gospel. How do we practically achieve that? Moms, here are six ways we can redeem our playdates.

1. Practice humble hospitality.

Playdates give us an opportunity to welcome others in the joy of the Lord. God’s word tells us to “show hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9). Remember, little ears are always listening. Do your children hear you complaining about the state of your house, or do they hear you eagerly anticipating fellowship with friends?

A tidy, beautiful home can help foster fellowship, but it is by no means a prerequisite. Go ahead and clean your house, but let the lingering crumbs and fingerprints communicate humility and camaraderie, as if to say, “I’m in the trenches, too.”

Greet your sisters, nephews, and nieces in Christ with holy affection like you would your own family (2 Corinthians 13:12). Create a context for redeemed playdates by showing humble hospitality.

2. Use playdates as a spiritual training ground for your kids.

The Christian playdate should be a safe and grace-filled training ground for our kids as we seek to train them up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). If your child hits another child, privately instruct him in confession and repentance. If yours is the one with the bump on his head, comfort him and help him extend forgiveness to his friend (Luke 17:3-4). Lean on and encourage each other as you seek to raise children who will love the Lord.

3. Choose your words wisely.

One of the marks of female Christian fellowship should be wholesome, edifying conversation. When we get together with other women, we have to be ever so careful to “let no corrupting talk come out of [our] mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

While women of the world may complain about their husbands or dish dirt on their neighbors, Christ-following women are called to a higher and holy standard. This doesn’t mean we can’t share our struggles with one another. If you are struggling, by all means, speak up! But check the motives of your heart — are you venting to make yourself feel good or sharing with the expectation of being encouraged (and possibly rebuked) by your sisters in gospel love?

Instead of tearing others down with your words, build each other up with Spirit-filled encouragement. Share what you have been reading in the Bible or what God has been teaching you about himself. You might even praise a child for her kindness, or tell your friend how you admire the way she handled a difficult situation. Speak words of life and point each other to Christ.

4. Look and listen.

Look for opportunities to serve one another in love (Galatians 5:13). Hold another mom’s baby, help a mom of three get her kids into the car, or bring a meal to the mom whose husband is away.

Listen well. Ask God to give you ears to hear your friend’s heart. Make sure you have really listened before offering any encouragement or counsel, and if you can, offer to talk in greater depth outside of the playdate (Proverbs 18:13).

5. Pray while you play.

Pray with and for one another. If your kids are still tiny and immobile, pray over them while they crawl around. If they’re a bit older, invite them to pray before snack time by taking turns praising God. Pray a silent prayer for the mom who is in the midst of disciplining her child. Pause and pray with your own child who is struggling to obey. Ask how you can pray for your friends during the week.

Teach your kids that we can pray even while we play!

6. Invite others in.

Jesus loves children and their mothers, and desires for them to know and love him too. “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them,” he says, “for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14).

The way to a mom’s heart is often through her children. Invite your child’s nonbelieving friends and their moms to your playdates so they can experience genuine gospel community and the love of Jesus firsthand. “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

Moms, it’s time to redeem the playdate. God has so much more in store for us in our fellowship than just keeping our kids busy until nap time. John Newton once wrote, “May Christ be our theme in the pulpit and in the parlor.” With God’s help, let’s covenant to make Christ the theme in our playdates — inviting him into our homes as we gather and play for his glory.

Originally written by Chelsea Stanley for Desiring God.

Soak Up the Dew

How do you recover after the worst kind of night? The hour after hour of sleep-eluding desperation followed by the morning light creeping in at the edges making you despise the very thing that’s ushering in the new mercies—the dawn.

The only way I know how to survive those sanity-killing nights (like the ones I’ve had lately) is to become a succulent—someone who can live off the dew.

Flood yourself with the scriptures when your brain is coherent and even when it isn’t, so that through the night and in the awful morning, you’ll have a heavy dew of truth to sustain you. Let even the mist and residue of God’s Word feed your soul.

This is warfare. We don’t read the Bible to feel like good Christians or to check it off the list or as a photo op. We do it because it’s our life and water and we don’t want to die of thirst.

There are a million things that you can fill yourself up with that will ultimately starve you. Junky movies, trivial books, shop therapy, shallow friendships, image building. But God’s word makes us impenetrable when we’re hidden in Christ. His holy people are his grace in our lives. So we soak up the dew and lean on his body and live.

Originally shared by Abigail Dodds.

Five Consequences of Misapplying Scripture

A few weeks ago I did a mini-series on my Instagram stories regarding the misapplication of popular bible verses – verses like Jeremiah 29:11. The ensuing conversation in my community was both exciting and discouraging. In one sense, it was exciting to see how many believers recognized the problems with taking verses out of context and misapplying them. But it was saddening to see how many people had learned these verses in their wrong context, and how many of them were overwhelmed and discouraged when they found out this was the case.

Misapplying Scripture is easy to do with the western approach to literature. Our culture wants to read a passage and immediately apply it to our lives. Our concern with productivity spills into our time with the Lord, where we tend to minimize the metanarrative in search of immediate application. This causes several major issues in our faith and walk with the Lord, five of which I’ve shared below.

Limited or Incomplete View of God

When we pick verses out of the context in which the author wrote them, we’re not just mishandling Scripture from a literary standpoint. We’re changing how we view God in His Word. The authors God inspired to write the Bible intentionally phrased their work in specific ways. Like any writer would, they built the narrative thought upon thought, purposely arranging the accounts to send a message about who God is, was, and will be. When we pluck verses out of the story – e.g Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you…” – we miss out on the true meaning of those verses. We might be getting a partial truth from the out-of-context version, but it’s not the whole truth. We’re missing the big theological concepts that teach us the most about God.

When people do this repeatedly with the Word, they end up with a limited, incomplete view of God Himself. This is how believers end up looking to God as a cosmic vending machine (prosperity theology) or as all love and no justice (Rob Bell, for example). This is the primary problem with many women’s ministries and conferences, which focus on being “beautiful in God’s eyes” but never talk about what Jesus did to provide that identity (more on that issue here).

Exalted View of Self

The second consequence of misapplying scripture is an exalted view of self. This is the natural outcome when we start with an incomplete view of God, because any view of God that isn’t complete naturally tends to glorify humans.

People today want to feel good about themselves. Because the bible talks so much about God’s love for humanity, it’s quite easy to proof-text Scripture and accomplish this. All you have to do is quote verses about God’s love, peace, and joy. All these things ARE part of following Jesus, but there is so much more to the story. If this is all you know about Christianity, you’ll be devastated to discover that trials, pain, and persecution are promised to those who follow Christ. You’ll also struggle to submit to the exclusivity of Christ because the bible you were taught revolved around… you.

If you read a book or attend a study where Scripture is constantly used to focus on yourself, that’s your first clue that something is wrong. The bible should continually redirect our attention to who God is, what Jesus has done, and how the Spirit is working in this world. If you’re not coming away with a greater view of God, you’re not asking the right questions in your bible study. The bible is not about us; it’s about the Lord!

Read more: The Millennial Gospel: Jesus, Tell Me More About Me

Surface-level Understanding of Scripture

When we read the bible looking for things to immediately apply, it leads to a surface-level reading of Scripture. The bible is not meant to be read like a self-help book. It is our means of knowing God, how God chose to reveal Himself to us. But to know Him as He chose to reveal Himself, we have to dig into those difficult books and passages that don’t make good Instagram captions.

We’re drawn to books like Psalms and NT epistles because they seem practical or relateable. And while these books ARE just as inspired as the others, reading them alone gives us an incomplete understanding of the bible and of God. When we take the time to read the Old Testament, we get a better understanding of what was going on in David’s life when he wrote the Psalms. We get a clearer perspective on why Jesus came to earth. We understand the imagery and context Paul is referring to in his letters to the early church. When we take verses out of context, read quickly and only for application, and focus on the “easy” books, we miss out on the full picture of God’s Word.

Risk of Theological Error

One of the greatest dangers of misapplying Scripture is the risk of theological error. Let’s use Jeremiah 29:11 as an example. This well known verse often gets written in graduation cards:

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

What a nice verse! Of course we want to apply it to our lives, our plans, our post-graduate endeavors. The problem? This verse was not written to us. In context, it was written to Israel right before they were taken into Babylonian captivity. They would spend 70 years as strangers in a foreign land, a consequence of their repeated disobedience. If you read the verses before Jer. 29:11, you will see just how dire the situation was. And if you read Jeremiah 29:12-14, you find something even more challenging:

“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.”

God had a plan for Israel; that’s true. But God’s original, perfect plan – their obedience in the Promised Land – was prevented by their disobedience. If they had obeyed Him, they would have received this glorious blessing of peace. But because of their disobedience, God altered His plan to include captivity. Israel had to learn the consequences of rejecting God. This whole passage is about Israel removing themselves from God’s plan and God’s grace in spite of it.

Not something we want to write on a coffee mug.

When you take Jer. 29:11 out of its context, you come away with, “God has good plans for me.” But in context, we see that God’s good plans are fulfilled AS WE OBEY HIM. And it is possible to remove yourself from His original, perfect plan, and for Him to alter the course, if we choose to reject Him. This is a very serious passage, not one to be taken lightly. And when we take verses out of context like this we risk even greater theological error.

Missing Out on the Full Meaning of God’s Word

Ultimately, misquoting, misusing, and misapplying Scripture causes us to miss out on the full meaning of God’s Word. While none of us will have a perfect understanding of God or His Word this side of heaven, we should be perpetual students of it. As we diligently seek the Lord through Scripture, He grants us His Holy Spirit to understand what we read. That same Spirit teaches us how and when to apply the concepts. We must do more than pick up pithy statements for our mugs and tattoos. We must seek to grasp the fullness of God’s story in humanity.

And when we do, we will find a God far greater, grander, sweeter, and better than we ever before imagined.

Written by Phylicia Masonheimer