A Season of Simplicity

More. Too much. Not enough. Want. Need. Now. These are the words I often find myself speaking over life when I am forcing too much. I am now in a season called for less. Motherhood, marriage, discipling, learning, and growing has called me for a quietness of life, mind, and soul. And it has been a process and a journey that I am still traveling on.

The last month or two have proven this to be true. I was spreading myself thin, saying yes to so much (all good things, but still too much), feeling like I need to do more, and wanting to have more. This is a cycle that is easy to get trapped into. But the truth is, I am doing it to myself. I am choosing to overfill my days with tasks, schedules, stresses, things that are taking my energy, and then I feel like I need more of it. And then there is nothing left for the things that I cannot choose that are put into my life. Also, I have less to give to the things that matter most: my husband, my children, and my God. When I step back and really examine it, it seems silly that I would do this to myself over and over. But the reality is, God will lead me to do what is right for my life at that time if I seek Him and listen to Him. His ways are present to me in the Word, through prayer, through worship. I need to stop and reach out more constantly, daily. It is so difficult to do this when I am distracted by all the things that I feel I need to do, think about, and have.

So I stop. I reach out. I listen. And I hear Him telling me to let go. Let go of some commitments that can wait for another time in my life, let go of possessions, let go of want for more. I keep coming back to the words that a very wise woman speaks often, “I can do everything, just not all at the same time.” And this is where I find myself. He is telling me to wait, to listen, and to just be.

Since I have been dwindling down my list of things I need to do, to have, to think about, I have seen more of Him and His call on my life. I have been more present with my children, being able to truly disciple them from my heart where God leads me. I have been able to connect more with my husband and friends.  I have been seeking God more in the everyday moments. I have been able to take care of myself and my soul to better serve others and God. And it is sweet. I am not near perfect, but I am thankful for the freedom to rebuild, to try again, to have grace in those moments where I fail to live out the order of my priorities.

Simplicity brings a certain kind of freedom; freedom to be present, to be content, to be thankful, to hold space, to be intentional. I have found a great peace in my soul during this time of simplicity. I feel that the Lord is teaching me to let go so He can grow me. I am learning to be a more present mother, wife, friend, and servant. When there is less clouding my mind and life, there is space for more to enter. More of what really matters - what Kingdom matters. I am forced to examine myself and ask “What am I worshipping?” Where is my time and energy going? And I have to face the answer. And I have the ability to change, to accept grace, and to start afresh.

We are inevitably beings bound by time, and we cannot escape it. But we get to choose how we spend it. In our culture, it seems that we are being pushed to and flooded with things that will only cloud us. Be here, do this, buy that, and you will be happy. But that is not so. The more I long for goodness, joy, happiness, the more I find that “things” do not provide that for me. It is a constant rollercoaster of learning this lesson over and over; one of my life’s biggest struggles. Coming from a person raised in a “now, more, and fast” culture, I often lose sight of what I truly value in my heart of hearts. When things are stripped away, I encounter this again and again. Intentionality, peace, joy, loving, teaching, learning, serving, listening, and worshipping. Thankfully, there is grace for the times that I do not pursue this. He is also pursuing me, and I need to take a breath and look for Him, as well.

And now, when I am stripping away unnecessary things from my life, my mind, my soul, I see more of Him. I hear Him speak to me. And so, I believe that He is louder when I have less to quiet Him.

Less, enough, intentional, joyful, filled, thankful, peace.

Originally written and published by Allie LaPointe of Born Well.

Six Ways to Redeem Playdates

As a mom of three little boys, playdates are part of our regular rhythm of life. My kids love playing with their friends, and I should love fellowshipping with other Christian moms, right? But to be honest, playdates often leave me discouraged. I go into a date longing for Christian community, but walk out feeling like it was no different from time spent with nonbelieving friends.

I recently shared my feelings with a few other moms (ironically at a playdate), and I was surprised to learn that they feel the same way. How is it that we — a group of moms who love Jesus — can gather for two hours and talk about nothing more than diapers and diets?

We decided then and there that it’s time for our playdates to be seasoned with the gospel. How do we practically achieve that? Moms, here are six ways we can redeem our playdates.

1. Practice humble hospitality.

Playdates give us an opportunity to welcome others in the joy of the Lord. God’s word tells us to “show hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9). Remember, little ears are always listening. Do your children hear you complaining about the state of your house, or do they hear you eagerly anticipating fellowship with friends?

A tidy, beautiful home can help foster fellowship, but it is by no means a prerequisite. Go ahead and clean your house, but let the lingering crumbs and fingerprints communicate humility and camaraderie, as if to say, “I’m in the trenches, too.”

Greet your sisters, nephews, and nieces in Christ with holy affection like you would your own family (2 Corinthians 13:12). Create a context for redeemed playdates by showing humble hospitality.

2. Use playdates as a spiritual training ground for your kids.

The Christian playdate should be a safe and grace-filled training ground for our kids as we seek to train them up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). If your child hits another child, privately instruct him in confession and repentance. If yours is the one with the bump on his head, comfort him and help him extend forgiveness to his friend (Luke 17:3-4). Lean on and encourage each other as you seek to raise children who will love the Lord.

3. Choose your words wisely.

One of the marks of female Christian fellowship should be wholesome, edifying conversation. When we get together with other women, we have to be ever so careful to “let no corrupting talk come out of [our] mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

While women of the world may complain about their husbands or dish dirt on their neighbors, Christ-following women are called to a higher and holy standard. This doesn’t mean we can’t share our struggles with one another. If you are struggling, by all means, speak up! But check the motives of your heart — are you venting to make yourself feel good or sharing with the expectation of being encouraged (and possibly rebuked) by your sisters in gospel love?

Instead of tearing others down with your words, build each other up with Spirit-filled encouragement. Share what you have been reading in the Bible or what God has been teaching you about himself. You might even praise a child for her kindness, or tell your friend how you admire the way she handled a difficult situation. Speak words of life and point each other to Christ.

4. Look and listen.

Look for opportunities to serve one another in love (Galatians 5:13). Hold another mom’s baby, help a mom of three get her kids into the car, or bring a meal to the mom whose husband is away.

Listen well. Ask God to give you ears to hear your friend’s heart. Make sure you have really listened before offering any encouragement or counsel, and if you can, offer to talk in greater depth outside of the playdate (Proverbs 18:13).

5. Pray while you play.

Pray with and for one another. If your kids are still tiny and immobile, pray over them while they crawl around. If they’re a bit older, invite them to pray before snack time by taking turns praising God. Pray a silent prayer for the mom who is in the midst of disciplining her child. Pause and pray with your own child who is struggling to obey. Ask how you can pray for your friends during the week.

Teach your kids that we can pray even while we play!

6. Invite others in.

Jesus loves children and their mothers, and desires for them to know and love him too. “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them,” he says, “for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14).

The way to a mom’s heart is often through her children. Invite your child’s nonbelieving friends and their moms to your playdates so they can experience genuine gospel community and the love of Jesus firsthand. “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

Moms, it’s time to redeem the playdate. God has so much more in store for us in our fellowship than just keeping our kids busy until nap time. John Newton once wrote, “May Christ be our theme in the pulpit and in the parlor.” With God’s help, let’s covenant to make Christ the theme in our playdates — inviting him into our homes as we gather and play for his glory.

Originally written by Chelsea Stanley for Desiring God.