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I Want To Be Nehemiah

March 09, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Family, Motherhood, Scripture

Before you remind me I am a girl, let me clarify and say Nehemiah is a go-getter. God said jump. Nehemiah did it and added a round of push-ups on the end for good measure. And while he was doing them, he convinced hundreds of people to join him. It’s like he sent an invitation to crazy town, and people looked around and knew this goal, this dream, this desire was just what being a Christian looked like in action. This is exactly how I want to parent.

I want to be Nehemiah.

God spoke to him, and before he dared utter a word, he prayed to God for wisdom, guidance, clarity, words.

I want to be Nehemiah.

God called him to such an outlandish task, he had no hope of completing it without God’s absolute favor. So he asked for it. He believed in it. He walked in it. Scoffers be darned, he didn’t follow them anyway. He followed God. God be blessed and pass it along.

I want to be Nehemiah.

He managed to motivate men to volunteer their efforts, muscles, energy, and eventually their lives. He knew what they were fighting for, and he keyed into that purpose and spent his breath encouraging and committing to them. One writer says it this way, “He invited them to play a role in God’s story”. Whoa. What?

A role in God’s story? But I do that! It’s called parenting. It’s called mentoring. It’s called discipleship. It’s called following the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It’s called using my gifts to bring God glory. It’s called being a Missionary Mom.

Nehemiah did all of this and said, “yes,” to being part of God’s story. And he was granted favor.

His goal was not only God approved, but it was a part of God’s story. That wall was protection. That wall was God’s glory, and we see that repeatedly throughout this story.

Men built the wall with tools in one hand and a sword in their other. This is how we are called to parent our kids. As warriors. Like Nehemiah.

It feels too big when we look at what Nehemiah accomplished through hindsight. Even when we know God was with him every step of the way. But God isn’t asking us to build a wall around our city or fight three angry nations. He’s just asking us to take the next right step. Just like every biblical great who’s come before us. Just like Nehemiah.

Written for Strength & Song by Shontell Brewer: wife, mama of five, and author of Missionary Mom.

March 09, 2019 /Amy Parsons
Nehemiah, missions
Family, Motherhood, Scripture
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Motherhood as a Mission Field

February 24, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Family, Gospel, Motherhood

There is a good old saying, perhaps only said by my grandfather, that distance adds intrigue. It is certainly true — just think back to anything that has ever been distant from you that is now near. Your driver’s license. Marriage. Children. Things that used to seem so fascinating, but as they draw near become less mystical and more, well, real.

This same principle certainly applies to mission fields, too. The closer you get to home, the less intriguing the work of sacrifice seems. As someone once said, “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help Mom with the dishes.”

When you are a mother at home with your children, the church is not clamoring for monthly ministry updates. When you talk to other believers, there is not any kind of awe about what you are sacrificing for the gospel. People are not pressing you for needs you might have, how they can pray for you. It does not feel intriguing, or glamorous. Your work is normal, because it is as close to home as you can possibly be. You have actually gone so far as to become home.

Home: The Headwaters of Mission

If you are a Christian woman who loves the Lord, the gospel is important to you. It is easy to become discouraged, thinking that the work you are doing does not matter much. If you were really doing something for Christ, you would be out there, somewhere else, doing it. Even if you have a great perspective on your role in the kingdom, it is easy to lose sight of it in the mismatched socks, in the morning sickness, in the dirty dishes. It is easy to confuse intrigue with value, and begin viewing yourself as the least valuable part of the church.

There are a number of ways in which mothers need to study their own roles, and begin to see them not as boring and inconsequential, but as home, the headwaters of missions.

At the very heart of the gospel is sacrifice, and there is perhaps no occupation in the world so intrinsically sacrificial as motherhood. Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.

Faith Makes the Small Offering Great

If you are like me, then you may be thinking, “What did I ever give up for them? A desk job? Time at the gym? Extra spending money? My twenty-year-old figure? Some sleep?” Doesn’t seem like much when you put it next to the work of some of the great missionaries, people who gave their lives for the gospel.

Think about the feeding of the five thousand when the disciples went out and rounded up the food that was available. It wasn’t much. Some loaves. Some fish. Think of some woman pulling her fish out and handing it to one of the disciples. That had to have felt like a small offering. But the important thing about those loaves and those fish was not how big they were when they were given; it was about whose hands they were given into. In the hands of the Lord, that offering was sufficient. It was more than sufficient. There were leftovers. Given in faith, even a small offering becomes great.

Look at your children in faith, and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the faces around your table now?

Gain What You Cannot Lose in Them

So, if mothers are strategically situated to impact missions so greatly, why do we see so little coming from it? I think the answer to this is quite simple: sin. Discontent, pettiness, selfishness, resentment. Christians often feel like the right thing to do is to be ashamed about what we have. We hear that quote of Jim Elliot’s and think that we ought to sell our homes and move to some place where they need the gospel.

But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now.

Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore.

Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.

Feeding Many with Little Offerings

It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions if you don’t have one for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.

God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied — and even then, there will be leftovers.

Originally written for Desiring God by Rachel Jankovic. Used with permission.

February 24, 2019 /Amy Parsons
missions, mission field, home
Family, Gospel, Motherhood
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God's Goodness in Miscarriage

February 17, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Family, Motherhood, Scripture

Your promise still stands

Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness

I'm still in Your hands

This is my confidence, You've never failed me yet

I know the night won't last

Your Word will come to pass

My heart will sing Your praise again

Jesus, You're still enough

Keep me within Your love

My heart will sing Your praise again

The song started, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep it together. “You have never failed me yet…” I started to cry, I could barely believe the words that were being sung - let alone sing them myself.

I left the sanctuary, ran into the parents’ room, and found two tiny babies playing with their moms. I couldn’t stay there. I left the room and stood at the door. God wanted me to worship. Even if I wasn’t singing, I needed to hear these words.

Just two days prior to this Sunday service, I had been in the hospital for a Dilation and Curettage. I had miscarried at 16 weeks. We unexpectedly went to my OB earlier in the week to see the dark ultrasound, the spot where the baby’s heart was no longer beating.  

I felt failed by God. My womb that had been filled with joy and life was now empty, and so was I. Sadly, I had already been in this place before. In between the births of my two sons, I had also experienced a late-term miscarriage.

Loss is nearly impossible to understand. Feelings of shame, regret, fear, anger, and guilt are all normal. If you’re in the midst of this, let yourself feel these emotions. Rely on God to reveal Himself in the midst of it all.

Most verses of comfort I would seek also made me angry. Like James 1:17, which says, “Everything good comes from God.” How is this GOOD? It is really hard to process through verses like this, but that’s just it; it is a part of the process, and that is GOOD.

This verse popped up on my Instagram feed several days after my loss while working on this article. God clearly spoke to me, not something I have personally experienced too often.

He reminded me that losing a child is not good, but He is good. He does not promise me a life without struggles, but He promises me a life where He will see me through these trials, and that IS good. Glorifying him through this loss is GOOD. I will see my angel babies again, and that is GOOD.  

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

For me, good looks like being open with my losses - speaking at moms’ groups, sharing my story in this article. Talking with a nursing friend who wants to support grieving moms in the hospital setting. Having compassion and understanding for loss, that I wouldn’t have without the experience of loss myself. This is GOOD. God is in this. He is GOOD.

Find the good, whatever that looks like for you, and give thanks to God for it.

The song continues:

My heart will sing Your praise again

Jesus, You’re still enough

Keep me within Your love

My heart will sing Your praise again

The day after that Sunday service, this song played on repeat for me. I sang God’s praises again. He loves me, He loves you, and He loves our children.

Written by Becca Bergman. Used with permission.

Song quoted is “Do It Again” by Elevation Worship.

February 17, 2019 /Amy Parsons
miscarriage
Family, Motherhood, Scripture
2 Comments
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How to Create a Family Mission Statement

February 11, 2019 by Amy Parsons in Family, Gospel, Motherhood, Scripture

Are you are wanting to become more intentional with your family, but you’re not sure what that looks like? Start by creating a family mission statement.

A mission statement may seem too corporate for you, but hear me out. It will really get your whole family on the same page. The family mission statement gives you a chance to prioritize what your family is all about.

Companies, clubs, businesses and pretty much every organization has a set of core values that they refer to when they need redirection. Shouldn’t we decide what our families core values are so we can refer back to them? As parents, we are the CEO’s of our homes.

I want my kids to know and understand what our family stands for. The family mission statement becomes your families identity; their DNA.

So how do you create your own family mission statement?

How to Create a Family Mission Statement:

ONE

List Core Values

Create your family’s core values with your spouse, and if your kids are older, have them contribute too. You could make this a family meeting. This list should not be created by just one person in the family. Collaboration is key. Here are some examples of values you could use: generous, caring, loving, etc.

In my family, my husband and prayed and brainstormed what we wanted our family to look like (our kids are too young to contribute to the conversation). We started by writing Riches are… and then jotted down our values. We wanted a list that was short and easy to remember.

Spending this time with my spouse really connected us and helped us be on the same page with our parenting. If your spouse isn’t on board, you can make this less formal by asking what they want your kids to be like when they are older.

TWO

Rank the Values

Now that you have a good list of family values, decide which values are most important to your family. You can number or star them or whatever method you would like. We tried limiting our core values so it would be easier to remember and less overwhelming. Try to limit your list to ten or less. Talk with your spouse about this and your kids (if they are old enough).

When deciding what to cut and keep, consider what your kids need to work on. If one of your kids are struggling with lying, add in honesty or truthful. That way when your child lies, you can say _(your last name)_ are honest. You can then use the mission statement to reinforce the good qualities you want your kids to possess. You can always adapt your mission statement later on, so don’t let that deter you from writing your mission statement.

THREE

Put the Mission Statement Together

You are at the point of writing your mission statement. Try to get to the point, and not be too wordy. Make the mission statement work for you. The easiest way to start is by writing your last name are… and list your values in whatever order you want. You can write your mission statement by putting the most important values first. Be creative here and make your mission statement fit your family’s personality.

FOUR

Display your Mission Statement

A family mission statement doesn’t do much good if it is written and left in a notebook. This is the most important step! Don’t skip it! Make your family mission statement really impactful, by displaying it in your home.

We typed our mission statement up, printed it numerous times, and framed it. I bought small black frames from the dollar store to display it. Our framed mission statement is throughout our house. We have our family mission statement on display in our hallway, kitchen, kid’s bathroom, and dining room.

If you are needing some ideas on ways to display your family mission statement, here are a few…

  • paint it on a canvas or wood board

  • use a program like Illustrator or PhotoShop to customize your own

  • type it out on a Word or Pages Doc and print off

  • use colored paper/ink

  • make it your phone’s background

  • make it your computer’s background

The more we see our family mission statement, the greater the impact it will have. What our families stand for is so important. Go create your families mission statement. We are in this together. Let’s be intentional in raising our children - the future generation.

Originally written by Amberlee Rich. Used with permission.

February 11, 2019 /Amy Parsons
family mission statement
Family, Gospel, Motherhood, Scripture
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