Choosing Joy

I love my silly girl.

She has such a funny side to her, and never shies away from trying to make me laugh.

And sometimes, I really, really need to laugh.

Like today. Today was the kind of day I experience every so often, especially right before a surgery or development evaluation. The kind of day when I look at my sweet daughter, and just want to weep.

Weep for what is ahead, because she has no idea how hard it will be. Weep for what has been lost, though she’ll never know what exactly it was. Weep for all the hard work she has done, only to experience gut-wrenching regression. Weep for what will never be.

Will she wear that white wedding gown, or hold suckling babies to her chest? Will she ever walk, or talk, or drink? Will she ever be able to forgive me for putting her through surgery after surgery and therapies upon therapies? When I tell her she can’t play with the other kids or participate the way she wants, will she hate me for it?

But oh, she loves. I don’t think she can hate. Even the things that are hard or frustrate her... she comes through smiling - through tears, but still smiling. And I have to remind myself of this very wonderful fact about Elyse: she comes through with joy. One moment she could be beside herself, in pain or just unhappy with what she is being made to do.... but give her time, and she forgets, moves on, and can be seen and heard gloriously laughing! That cheesy grin always appears after tears. Always.

I have to believe this for her as she grows up and becomes more aware of her reality. When distraction isn’t so easy, and smiles are more of a choice than a feeling. I wish it could stay as simple as it is now.

But for tonight, I choose joy. I choose to believe God has a greater purpose in all of this. I choose to see the good. I choose to be happy. I choose to let every trial and every setback bring me closer to His heart. And when I consciously make this choice, the smile surely follows. Not because my situation has changed (sometimes, it actually grows worse) but because I have His presence, His comfort and His peace that passes all understanding. God alone makes sense of the senseless.

This is my prayer for Elyse Joy. Baby girl, if you read this one day, I want you to know that happiness isn’t to be found in being anyone other than who God wants you to be. And more than anything else, God wants you to be HIS. If you are God’s, sweet girl, known and loved by Him, that’s all that matters! May His love and ownership always bring a smile to your dear, sweet face.

“And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.” John 16:22

Keep smiling, friends!

Originally written and posted on Facebook by Katie Millen, mama of three beautiful children, one with special needs.

Choosing Church

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:23-25 NIV)

I know. Church isn’t always riveting. People at church can often act in frighteningly unchristian ways. Sometimes the music doesn’t appeal. Sometimes it’s difficult having to be nice to people you feel awkward around. Perhaps at times you feel pressured to do more than you feel you can do … committees folks want you to join … so you just stay home to avoid having to say no. Maybe your pastor seems tired or too busy for you. We can find a ton of reasons to stay home from church. Truthfully, no matter how great a church is, it won’t be perfect. If we’re of a critical mindset, there will always be something to criticize.

Due to frequent military moves, Ray and I have been active in 15 churches during our married life. Each one has been unique and special. Not one has been perfect. But whether we were staying in an area five months or five years, we always found a church home and participated. I am so glad we did. We love our current church home passionately, and Sundays are a joy. But even if they weren’t, we would still attend somewhere. Always. And here’s why.

1) Our verse in Hebrews commands us to hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. One of the ways we hold onto our faith and honor the One who is faithful is to identify with others who believe as we do. Even the act of driving away every Sunday morning tells our neighbors that we value God enough to forego other weekend choices like sleeping in or catching up with yard work. We want to offer God a “time sacrifice” and spend His day with others who love Him and share the hope we profess.

2) Hebrews tells us to consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let’s face it. We need spurring. If left to ourselves, we can easily become self-centered, thinking only of our own desires. When we mingle with others who are different from us, we learn to love as God loves. When we learn of needs in our community, we are spurred to serve and help through good deeds. We aren’t naturally nice. We need help. Church helps us remember our calling as Christians to love and serve. Plus, gathering with others ends up being a whole lot more fun and rewarding than staying home anyway.

3) Even back in the early church, Christians had to be warned about not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing. Our natural laziness can pull us from the good habit of setting aside a day to worship and honor and spend time with God. I want my weekly attendance at church to be a firmly established habit. I want this to be a consistent rhythm in my life investing one day out of every seven, meeting with other imperfect people just like me, and acknowledging the One who made us, loves us, saved us.

4) Besides, going to church isn’t all about us, is it? It’s about encouraging one another. When we accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior, we entered into a new family, and now we have family obligations. We all share the honor of being able to call the God of All … Father. Wow. As brothers and sisters, we are supposed to encourage each other. A kind word on a Sunday morning, a hug in the parking lot, a compliment or a question that shows we care … can make all the difference in someone’s life. I love being encouraged. Who doesn’t? And it feels awfully good to encourage others, too.

5) The days are dark. Our culture is headed away from a biblical worldview. If we immerse ourselves in popular TV shows and movies, we’ll find ourselves moving away from God’s good truths. In times like these, just like in the times of the early church, we need to step up our church attendance, all the more as you see the Day approaching. If a time of persecution comes upon us, we’ll need the strength and faith and hope of others enabling us to stand firm, fully committed to the God we chose to follow, fully surrendered to Him. How can we show love and compassion for others if we aren’t reminded often of God’s love and compassion for us? We are forgetful folk. We need the reminders of what is right and kind and good, especially as the Day of Christ’s return draws near.

So … let’s be faithful when we feel like it and when we don’t. We are blessed to live in a time and place where the gathering of Christ-followers is allowed. Let’s gladly state that He is worthy of our time and attention, worship and honor, by showing up in collective adoration each week. Let’s choose church.

Father, give us eyes to see Your good purpose in calling us to a rhythm of worship. Help us to say with David, “I rejoiced with those who said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the Lord.’”* Teach us, use us, humble us as we gather each week for Your good purposes. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

* Psalm 122:1 NIV

Originally written and published by Sharon Gamble of Sweet Selah Ministries.

Pliable People

“Like clay in the hands of a potter so are you in My hands.” Joel 18:6

Playing with Play-Do was a “Yay!” activity in our house when my kids were little.  We had all kinds of tools, forms and presses to make things with the colorful putty.  When we were done (yes, I mean we) the Picasso-esque artifacts were set on a shelf but it didn’t take long for them to harden, crack and eventually fall apart.

I imagine we are like that too.  God’s hands are pressing and molding us, sometimes adding and other times taking away.  All the while He is delighted in His creation and, as long as we remain pliable, He is able to shape us as He wills.  However, if we withdraw from Him, become hard or bitter, or even apathetic, we will not be workable.  No change can occur without first adding water.

In John 4:14 water is a symbol of the Holy Spirit, “…the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” As a believer we are sealed by the Holy Spirit and cannot be unsealed.  However, we can quench and grieve the Holy Spirit and have dry, powerless lives.  Ephesians 4:30-31 says, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”

Therefore, God will continue molding us into the likeness of His Son.  Our part is to remain pliable. Abiding in Christ, sitting at His feet, meditating on His love and forgiveness and prayerfully reading His Word are all ways to remain soft-hearted.  Another is confession.  When Jesus washed Peter’s feet He said, “Unless I do this you can have no part in Me.” John 13:8b.  This intimate exchange is a picture of confession.  We give Jesus the dirt that clings to our feet because we are living in this fallen world.  He gladly takes our sin upon Himself and makes us clean.  After Jesus finished washing the disciples feet He told them that they were (we are) to do this for one another.  Hence, James 5:16, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”  Here the “Confess your sins to one another” is born.  This does not mean that we have to confess our sins to another person to be forgiven.  We are already forgiven!  Rather, that we reflect Christ in the lives of our brothers and sisters by showing unconditional love and forgiveness as we share our burdens and sin with each other by living out this command.  This is humble submission.  This is being pliable and soft, teachable and available for His Kingdom and for His glory.

Unfortunately, oftentimes we are hesitant to confess our sins to another believer.  We are compelled to hide our defects and pretend to have it all together when we are actually dying inside.  We were not meant to walk alone.  We were meant to be shaped by God through relationship. His Holy Spirit is the press Who shapes us through relationships that chisel off the rough edges.  We are being sanctified, made perfect for His Kingdom and I can’t wait to go home.

Finally, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”  May we be pliable in the hands of a loving God and choose to be used by Him to comfort others with the Good News of forgiveness so they too can drink deeply of the Living Water and be forever changed.

Originally written and published by Marlene McKenna for havhope.

Invest in the Mess

Recently, my 20 month old son Moses learned the word “messy”. After spreading food all over his hair/face/chest/high chair, he will look up at me with a concerned expression and say, “Uh oh, messy!”

The fact that he says, “Uh oh!” before the “messy” is something he has learned from me. In my opinion, messes are an uh oh. I do not appreciate mess. I do not enjoy cleaning up messes. As a mom of two little boys under age two, I feel perpetually surrounded by MESS.

After months of frustration and discouragement at my inability to contain the chaos of life with little ones (and two big dogs who delight in shedding hair everywhere), the Lord sat me down for a little chat.

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.

Luke 10:41-42

Not only had my obsession with keeping my home in perfect order taken my joy, it had interfered with my goal of spending quality time with the Lord, digging in to His Word and coming before Him in prayer while my kids napped. As soon as they hit the sack I would immediately rush to get the dishes done, the clothes put away, the toys back in their place. Only after everything was in order would I sit down with my Bible…and nine times out of ten I would have 5 minutes before the first kid would wake up and the crazy start all over again.

Please note the incredible mess in the background of this pic.

I found myself resenting my precious little guy whose goal was not to maliciously ruin Mommy’s day by doing what little ones do best and leaving a mess wherever he toddled. I found myself nagging and nit picking my husband every time he would leave something on the counter or the floor. I found myself jealously comparing myself to the other moms who seemed to have immaculate homes and perfectly clean children who delightfully started cleaning up after themselves at six months of age.

I came to the realization that I need to embrace this season of mess, for my own sanity’s sake and also for the well-being of my family, but ultimately for the glory of God. This is the season He has placed me in. My toddler is learning and growing and developing, and that means spilling and smearing and leaving a disaster in his wake more often than not. Of course, I shouldnt let my home fall into a perpetual state of squalor, that’s not God-honoring at all. But exhausting all my energy and joy in trying to rid myself of the inevitable messiness of life that accompanies two little boys under two robs me of the pleasure of enjoying my precious family and investing in these fleeting moments of childhood and parenthood.

My husband is my example of investing time in what truly matters.

So. I’m going to stop freaking out when my clean living room turns into a train wreck in .5 seconds after Mosha wakes up from nap. I’m going to stop apologizing all over the place in embarrassment when the handyman comes in and has to step over mega blocks and a pile of goldfish to get to the water heater closet. I’m going to stop being a Martha who is “worried and troubled about many things”. I’m going to stop envying other moms and their seemingly perfect homes (and kids and makeup and hair and lives).

I’m going to glory in the season God has given me. I’m going to marvel at the milestones my little Moses and Thadeus hit. I’m going to thank my God for the gift of children and a legacy and all that entails. I’m going to follow Mary’s example and put my time with the Lord FIRST and trust that He will honor that and give me opportunity to complete my to-do list after. I’m going to put down the laundry and leave the half-cleaned kitchen and spend the remainder of my evening with my husband after the kids have gone to bed, investing in our marriage and having face-to-face time with him. The unfinished chores will be there tomorrow, guaranteed. The precious moments with my family are not so guaranteed.

I’ll leave you with this image of Mosha after he flung chocolate milk all over himself and our car, leaving a sour milk smell that lasted for weeks.

Written by Natalya Brown.